Need help, support, ideas please.

[HaywardMama]

Had a bit of a curve all thrown at me today. And I really don't know how to respond.

Background: when DS was a baby I met done other moms at a Breastfeeding support group an we formed our own playgroup and our kids have been playing togetherforthe last 3 years. Last year we formed a homeschool preschool that meets every other week for one morning. 

Several of us just had baby #2 in the last six months. My dd was born a month ago. DH and I decided that we would delay vaccinations now that we have learned more about them. 

Today I received a message that went to everyone in the preschool that when we started the group we would have the kids on the CDC schedule of vaccination (I only half remember this). Since dd is on a delayed schedule, they say my son can come but she cannot. "no hard feelings."

I am flabbergasted. On the one hand I see their concern for their kids health but on the other hand if they are all vaxed then how is my kid goin to make them sick?

The other thing that is underlying is this same group of people in the playgroup are the same people as the preschool. So basically they are satin they don't feel comfortable around my kid, so really can she come to any play date? The only diff between the homes hool preschool and a play date is one has structure and the other doesn't. 

In the last two years though I've realized that I'm not really good friends with anyone. We are all acquaintances. I stay because it's a place to go and for DS to play. 

I don't know whether I should just leave the group altogether or present my case to get them to "allow" dd in the group and educate them that more and more parents aren't vaccinating.

But on the same hand it feels like they are kicking me out, not really my choice anyway.

The preschool was really why we stayed because it was good for DS because we can't afford to put him in classes right now. 

Thoughts?

[CherryBombMama]

That's a tough one! How many other mamas are in this group? Are you really the only one who isn't vaccinating on schedule? Who is the one in charge of checking all the vaccination records? I am just curious.

Maybe they are just trying to make the preschool more "formal" and don't mind your daughter at the play dates? Who would you ask to find out? If it were me, I would email whoever was in charge, or all of them, the safety of delayed/non vaxing, and then request a more detailed explanation of what they mean - is your daughter banned from all events or just the preschool? But I am sure you feel hurt, I know I would, and that alone would make me not want to go back to them. 

If they are only acquaintances, maybe its time to start looking around for some new ones...

[Hoopin' Mama]

How in the world do they even know what your 1 month old vaccination schedule currently is?

I seriously sense they are just being kind of cruel. How on earth is a newborn in arms going to affect a bunch of vaxed preschoolers? And I vaccinate.

No, I would guess that they don't want you at the playgroup but it's easier to kick someone out of a "preschool" with rules than a playgroup. I would continue to send my son to preschool but not otherwise be involved with that group.

[Virginia Mom]

Seriously..........if any mom brings her kid to the doctor and that kid has a fever or is sick, they can't get their shots....so they are now on a delayed schedule..........I bet there are lots of  kids on 'un-intentional' delayed schedules.........we had to stop the shots for medical and everyone thought we were nuts....eventually i just stopped telling other moms about it........expect a hassle from the school when they go to K, and if you go to the ER.........but YOUR TRUE mom friends won't have a problem.......

[Maneers]

How could you not have hard feelings! Fear can be a powerful force.
Those women are under informed- we are on a very delayed schedule when I talked with my doc about which vaccines she felt were most crucial .. She said that a lot of them no longer apply to my then 2 year old
Many childhood diseases covered by vaccines are most dangerous for infants. Not vaccinated three year olds!

If you still want to stay in that group, I would present them with some well researched facts even ask your doctor to offer advice!