Planning a UC for first baby

[mforeback]

Hi everyone! I wanted to introduce myself and tell my story.

I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant. This is my third pregnancy; I miscarried my first at 7 weeks and the second at 6 weeks. We're expecting a baby girl, and have decided to name her Jennifer Lauren.

I didn't know all that much about birthing options before this pregnancy. I just assumed that the hospital was the only option, and that all of the interventions were necessary and unavoidable. Then I started to research childbirth. I was surprised at how unnecessary most interventions are, how unsafe they can be. I was even more surprised at what I found about UC. I never considered it before researching it. The only reason being I didn't even know it was an option. The more I read about hospital births, the more I realized I wanted to home birth. Another thing is that I hate hospitals. They are for people who are sick, or who have life-threatening injuries or conditions. To me, childbirth is neither of those. It happens naturally, no matter where you are or what you're doing. The only reason to birth in a hospital is in the case of a life-threatening complication.

I was hesitant to talk to my husband about home birth. His biggest concern about pregnancy and birth has been the health and well-being of myself and our baby, and he's a big worrier. "What if" is his favorite phrase sometimes, I swear. :)

But the more I researched, the more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that a home birth is the safest thing for a healthy pregnancy and normal delivery. The only reason I would need a hospital is for something life-threatening, which doesn't happen too often. And the hospital is a 15 min drive on surface streets; close by. I finally gathered my courage, and asked DH what he thought of me giving birth at home.

You know what? He was so happy to hear me say that. He feels the same way I do about hospitals, and about childbirth being natural and healthy, not a medical emergency or illness to "cure" like so many doctors in hospitals think. He was dreading the idea of being in the hospital as much as I was. I was so happy and relieved to find out that we were on the same page.

The next thing we discussed was whether to do it unassisted, or to look into a midwife or doula. We talked about it, and decided that we'd rather it just be us. My DH is very excited about the upcoming birth of our daughter. He's looking forward to catching her, and to us three being together as a family, undisturbed, for those precious first hours. Well, us three plus four. We have four "furry babies", two dogs and two cats. I know the dogs can tell I'm pregnant. Their favorite thing to do is curl up next to me and put their heads on my bump, and when they greet me, they poke their noses at my belly and sniff it a few times. The cats have become more affectionate, and think they need to sleep on my stomach/legs/pillow at night. So cute. :)

I am seeing and OB, but am not at the same time. My doctor is our family practice physician. He sees DH and me for regular things, and will see baby Jenny once she's born. He covers obstetric care as well, and oversees my pregnancy. The jack-of-all trades type doctor. I like that it's the one guy for the whole family, and that the same guy is overseeing the pregnancy, and will continue to take care of Jenny once she's born. He's also very hands-off and evidence-based in style: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If what you're doing works, don't mess with it. Do no harm type guy; he's not for tests and medicines just for the heck of it, only if needed. He truly cares about what is best for the patient, not his pocketbook, and is very family-oriented.

We're planning to call the doctor once we're certain I'm in labor, just so he knows. We'll call again once Jenny is born, on an FYI basis again. My next appointment is in February; I will ask him about specifics then. Mainly, when after birth he'll want to see Jenny; a few hours, the next day, what.

Anyway! Sorry if this is long-winded. I just wanted to introduce myself to this board, you ladies are all so inspiring and helpful! Feel free to offer any advice or opinions you may have for a first time UC. Thanks for reading!

[CDsMom1031]

Welcome to Mothering!

Check out your due date's social group where you can meet ladies that are due around the same as you and go through your journey "with them".

This place is awesome! I hope you fall in love like I did. =)

[mforeback]

But...there isn't one for June 2012. Not that I see anywhere. Should I not be posting? Am I unwelcome to post here if I haven't had my baby yet?

[CDsMom1031]

Absolutely not the case!

http://www.mothering.com/community/groups/show/12/june-2012-ddc

[madeitX2]

Nice intro. Great to hear your journey so far. And what a nice jump for your first. I didn't UC until baby #3 but did have the first two at home with m/w that I didn't call until pushing. It was all great. Planning my second UC and my last baby. Can't wait. I am inviting some friends for some women support this time.

[Almi]

You sound a lot like me, except I always felt I wanted to have a home birth (the thought of getting a midwife never really crossed my mind), and after doing some research when I first got pregnant (I also miscarried my first at 7 weeks), I found out what I wanted was unassisted childbirth.  Freebirth.  And that it was safe and lovely.  And it was.  My second pregnancy resulted in twins, and we had a wonderful twin UC.  Due with baby #3 on May 3rd and planning another. :)

[mforeback]

Yes, sounds very similar! Would you be willing to share your birth stories? And/or especially, do you have one written from your DH's point of view? My husband has been interested in UC stories from the Dad's point of view, but there aren't all that many to be found. I did find one home birth site from the UK for Dads, although most of the stories involve a midwife. Still, there are a lot of Dad birth stories on there. If you're interested in reading any, here's the link:

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/blokes.htm

"blokes"...lol. British English is so much fun. :)

Anyway, thank you so much for your interest and support! It's so nice to have such positive, encouraging people in the world.

[mforeback]

What supplies did you have on hand for the birth? What I'm thinking I'll want so far:

Puppy pads (in place of Chux pads; cheaper)

Embroidery thread (to tie cord)

Towels (wipe away blood/fluid)

Nose suction bulb (just in case)

Receiving blanket(s)

Bowl for placenta

Rawhide bones (in case dogs need distracting) :)

Things I'm considering:

Olive oil/wash cloths (perineum)

Herbal remedy for bleeding postpartum, if needed (shepard's purse? researching)

Herbs for herbal bath afterwards.

Has anyone used herbal baths/herbal remedies for bleeding? If so, what did you use? Did you make it, or purchase it somewhere?

Also, what supplies did you use? What supplies did you not prepare but wish you had?

Also, did any of you use olive oil to prevent tearing? Did it help? What positions for birth do you think help minimize tearing?

Thanks!

[sunflower8]

just curious.....you say you're going to call the dr. when you are in labour, does he know that you will be at home unassisted? How did he react when you told him your plans, or have you? And what if he insists on calling an ambulance to your house or something? Curious, b/c I may be in the same position this summer!!

[mforeback]

My next appointment is this Wednesday, I'm going to be telling him my plans then. I'll let you know how it goes! I don't think he'll be unsupportive. If he is, then I just won't tell him when I'm in labor.

[sunflower8]

thanks, good luck! seems that the mainstream attitude even among midwives here at least is very negative toward UC, resulting in code of silence and shame and secrecy...

[mforeback]

Aw, that stinks. Where are you located, if I may ask? There aren't many midwives where I'm at...I think only 2 within an hour drive. And I don't want to pay the $3800 fee. I know that the other family practice doctor at my office (who also does OB stuff) is okay with home birth. Since she and my doctor are the backup for each other's OB patients, I'm assuming that my doc is fine with it too. I'm sure he will be...he's very hands-off, evidence-based in style. I'm looking forward to the appointment, anyway...it'll be nice to see what he says. Even if he's unsupportive, tough. I just won't tell him when I'm in labor, then. >:P I don't honestly foresee an issue with it though.

[sunflower8]

I'm in a small town an hour outside Vancouver, Canada. Our national health care plan covers midwifery, so there's no cost. Honestly I dont' know how Americans afford to reproduce! But because they are under the auspices of the medical system they are usually very pro-mainstream medicine: for example I was counselled to get the H1N1 vax with my last child even tho' it contains mercury. wtf?

There seems to be an assumption among my aquaintances that UC is 'illegal' or could get you turned into c.p.s! I know the local midwife has expressed strong disapproval to friends, but it's a conflict of interest for her! So I can't imagine someone in the health profession saying, 'yeah, go for it!' when one broaches the idea....let me know how it goes and best of luck..!

[mforeback]

A lot of the US medical problem involving childbirth is the routine use of OB/GYN's. For a normal, healthy pregnancy, an OB is not necessary. They are, ostensibly, specialists for problems during pregnancy and childbirth. They are an authority on their own, and are largely in their profession for money. They practice the medical policy of "assumed safe until proven unsafe", which is a terrible idea in my opinion. OB's have made pregnancy into a "condition" that must be medically managed and "cured". Childbirth is a medical emergency, and many routine interventions are done for the OB's convenience, even at the expense of the health of the mother and child. A hospital is actually the most dangerous place to give birth in America.

Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First by Marsden Wagner is a very informative and eye-opening book. I would highly recommend reading it. 

All of that aside, my doctor is not an OB specialist. He is a family practicioner, who has training/certification with pregnancy. He is very evidence-based and hands-off, and even looks for treatments that save the patient money, instead of running every test and writing every prescription under the sun, just to pad his own wallet. He doesn't see pregnancy as a medical condition to be cured. He is much more like a midwife than an OB. Although again, he isn't an OB specialist in the first place, but still. I have heard from other local women that he supports home birth. I don't know if that means UC or not, but I don't think he'll make a stink over it even if he doesn't like the idea. I have my 24 week appointment tomorrow, and I plan to tell him of my intention to UC then. I will post tomorrow and let you know how that goes.

[lalagordo]

I am 24 weeks along as well.  I am seeing a hospital based CNM myself. 

Anyway, When I read your post I get just a little worried as neither you nor your husband have any previous experience with childbirth at all (at least that is what i understand from your posts).  Most birth goes just fine but even in a healthy mother it many times pays off to have someone around who at least can recognize when there may be a problem and it may be time to get help.  Even when all seems fine during pregnancy, some babies do not do well through perhaps an extra long labor or extra long pushing stage.  Maybe reading up on allpossible signs of danger during all stages of labor would be good for your hubby.  You don't know if you will be able to remmeber everything once labor starts. 

I know I was eternally grateful to be surronded by 5 women at my last baby's birth (11 years ago!)  They were listening to baby's heartbeat every 15 minutes for at least a minte and near the end when baby was getting a little stressed the midwife emphasized how much baby was really wanting to come out as soon as possible and I was given supplementary oxygen during part of the pushing stage so baby would get some extra oxygen just in case. They did other stuff to make sure my pushing would be effective.  I wouldn't have known how my baby would have benefited from coming out sooner rather than later(as far as his oxygen needs) if it were not for 3 licensed midwives in the room with over 40 years experience between them all.  I couldn't have gotten through the intensity of contractions without their full assistance.  I know lots of women on here UC and everyting goes really well for most but as a first time mom the guidance of an experienced person is indispensible for you in my mind.  Anyway, God bless your baby and your birth watever you decide. 

[mforeback]

Had the 24 week appointment today! I told my doctor my plan to UC. He didn't mind at all. His response to my announcement was that "for 99% of births, birthing at home unassisted or otherwise is perfectly safe. There is the 1% of dire complications that need to be resolved in a hospital. As a doctor, I'm somewhat required to say that the hospital is the safest place. But, the choice is yours, and you and your pregnancy are very healthy".

In essence, it doesn't bother him. He's fine with it. As he put it, as a doctor he is required to say the hospital is best. But his personal opinion is that it's fine, and he personally has no issue with my plans. I love that my family practice guy is supportive of the idea. :) Yay!

[slmommy]

wow... what a Dr. you have!! haha I had drs refuse to touch me after I told them I was planning HB with MW (lie, I was planning UC).

I would tell you to try to encourage your DH to do as much reading as possible. I forced mine to do some, but obviously not enough... my water broke about 15 hours into labor, 5 before she was born, and DH was freaking because he remembered that the longer you go with broken bag the higher the risk of infection... but *not* during active labor, and like 24 hours+... not 2 hours in active labor dear.... 

My cat went nuts when I was in labor, and was really wayyy too interested in blood. We put him in his carrier, which he didn't like. Then after DD was born DH let him out he ran away (some relatives left the door open...), but came back next morning. I would def make pet plans.

I used shepard's purse after delivering placenta. Had angelica and something else to encourage stalled labors, but didn't use them. I did use comfrey infusion postpartum on a labial tear I had, which helped a lot.

I highly recommend Heart and Hands by Elizabeth Davis. It was the most useful, practical book I read, and I read a lot. Keep reading and have DH do the same. Also, birth/pregnancy affirmations were very helpful to me, especially during pregnancy. During birth I kinda made up my own on the spot. Maybe some affirmations would be helpful to DH too.

[chapluqa]

I've also been planning to UC for my first baby (due in April), and to have some experienced women (friends who've had UCs, including one who is a student doula) on-call to come over if I feel I need their presence.  Lately I've been reconsidering my decision not to hire a midwife, mainly because it will be my first birth experience and I have no idea how it will go for me, and although DH is amazingly supportive and calm under pressure, neither one of us has any experience of this. So it might be helpful to have the midwife there to reassure us that whatever is happening is normal (and of course to recognize a problem if there are any). I'm also missing that woman-to-woman relationship that one can have with a midwife, the nurturing and female wisdom that I don't think I would get anywhere else. Obviously it's a bit late in the game to find one, but I think I will try and if I don't end up finding a good match, then I guess it wasn't meant to be. 

DH is reading Ina Mays' Guide to Childbirth, and I have been preparing and researching for literally years so I suppose we'll be as prepared as we can be if we end up doing it on our own. Hopefully my mom will be here in time for the birth (she is coming over from the US a week before my due date), which would be great, although her only experience of birth was having me (which was, in her words, a 'blissful' experience).

That's awesome that your doctor is so supportive and understanding about your decision. If I had such a supportive caregiver, I would probably feel a bit more confident about UCing for the first one. Thus far I haven't seen anyone medical or otherwise during my pregnancy, in part because I don't want to be pressured to do all sorts of tests and encouraged to worry about things that are very, very unlikely to happen.

[eagermomma]

In response to your question about herbal remedies for bleeding, I would highly recommend Sheppard's purse. I am 35 1/2 weeks pregnant with my first and planning an unassisted home birth so I haven't had experience using it with postpartum bleeding but I did use it last year when I had an unassisted miscarriage at 9 1/2 weeks. I hemorrhaged pretty badly with it to the point where I got sick several times and passed out, my mother in law came over with some Sheppard's Purse soon after and as soon as I took it the bleeding started to slow and I was much better (though absolutely exhausted) the next day. I would also recommend liquid chlorophyll, it can be helpful in rebuilding your blood count and iron levels if you do happen to hemorrhage and will help you get your energy back sooner; I used it in my recovery from the miscarriage and found it very helpful. Liquid chlorophyll has also been known flat out prevent postpartum hemorrhaging if taken daily for the last six weeks or so of pregnancy. I take a dose of liquid chlorophyll and several cups of red raspberry leaf tea daily (this tones the uterus and can also help with a smoother labor and to prevent postpartum hemorrhage). You can find both Sheppard's Purse and Liquid Chlorophyll in the homeopathic section of your local health food store or they can be purchased online. For my red raspberry leaf , I buy Traditional Medicine's pregnancy tea, which I find in the tea and coffee aisle at my local health food store.

[chapluqa]

Thanks for the reminder about liquid chlorophyll...I'll have to make sure to get some and start taking it when I hit 34 weeks.  I was already planning to have Shepherd's Purse on hand.

Since deciding I might want a midwife after all, I haven't done anything about it, and in any case I don't think there are any around here that I would be happy with (independent midwifery is getting rarer in this country due to government reforms that are basically trying to regulate it out of existence). So I guess I'll be going unassisted as per the original plan. I think I might need to do a bit more preparation of myself and my support people with respect to the 'what if' situations - i.e. what is 'normal' and when is it definitely time to get me to a hospital. I will also get more clear with my birth/UC experienced friends that one of two of them would be willing to be available to attend should I feel I need them here.