Any PARENTS with Asperger's Syndrome? - Page 3

[HarperRose]

Hey, guys, I'm on the radio tonight!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/autistic-people-/2012/01/31/mosaic-4-pm-5-pm-spectrum-1

It starts at 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific. Figure out your time zone. :) Also, it's available to listen to later.

[HarperRose]

I have a new post up, this one about support.

http://parentingwithaspergers.blogspot.com/2012/01/support.html

[FarmerBeth]

Originally Posted by HarperRose 

I have a new post up, this one about support.

http://parentingwithaspergers.blogspot.com/2012/01/support.html

This would actually be a good one to link for extended family asking about supporting parents of special needs kids like in the recent thread.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by FarmerBeth 

This would actually be a good one to link for extended family asking about supporting parents of special needs kids like in the recent thread.

Good point. *off to find that thread*

[beachcomber]

Just read and caught up with the fascinating discussion on the complexity of labels and meanings. It is a huge challenge finding a way to describe our kids that doesn't "other" them by assuming a normal or typical as the set point. It's long been a big frustration of mine when describing my 2 kids. One has ASD. The other does not. He's not normal or typical. He's just a kid. She's not abnormal or atypical. She's just a kid who learns and processes differently and because her difference is a minority difference, she's singled out for labels.

Personally, I use NT or neuro-typical or typically developing to describe my kid who isn't on the spectrum. I know that NT is the standard medical terminology used when comparing kids with LDs or who have some kind of spectrum diagnosis with their peers who are developing along standard milestones. Like some others, I do agree to some extent that we need to find common language. But I also think we need to work on finding the right common language. That means sometimes we need to revisit our definitions and assumptions around how we label and who we are labeling. There will be times when the accepted labels no longer fit or are no longer appropriate. I, for one, hope to remain open to those discussions. In a perfect world, my DD wouldn't need a label, but in this one she does and while it marginalizes her, it gets her services she needs to learn and grow.

[HarperRose]

I wrote a new blog post on Acceptance.

http://parentingwithaspergers.blogspot.com/2012/02/acceptance.html

[Nature]

Hi there, I've returned from my hiatus and saw this thread. I have 2 children with Asperger's and anxiety disorders, 2 waiting for diagnosis, and I myself have been diagnosed with Asperger's, Anxiety Disorder NOS, PTSD and a few other things thrown in. I'm being treated for ADHD as well as my husband. He also was diagnosed as Bipolar as a child but isn't taking meds for it. (I'm not even sure he has it to be honest)

My children are in public school but I'm so tired of the fight, and my 8 year old has failing grades. I just found out they've been forcing her to wear a pressure vest for the entire day, this has been going on for months. Yes, forcing her. She hates it.

I was 100% for homeschooling, leaning towards unschooling.. then when she was diagnosed and I knew it would be harder to teach her, I got scared and somehow.. we're where we are. In public school. Fighting tooth and nail and living every day with life revolving around school. I'm tired and i want my life back.

But to answer the original post. Yes, I have Asperger's.

[HarperRose]

Hi! Yay! More people like me! lol

[umami_mommy]

 bump. 

[beachcomber]

I just wanted to add about ME and my husband, since this is a thread about parents with AS. I don't have AS but I do have severe GAD (anxiety disorder) which is getting worse over the years even with meds. Buh. My husband has AS but has learned to cope very well with social interactions in a workplace setting. He trained as a fine artist but works with computers in educational technology. He's very gifted at problem solving, thinking outside the box and being super-focused on the task at hand. But that doesn't translate to every aspect of his life. Some projects that don't interest him but need doing often get ignored or started and then left. Heh. He doesn't have social relationships outside of work because, as he puts it, "I don't dislike people. I just don't have a use for 90% of them." He's extremely self-directed and I'm extremely not. It's a bit comic.

[Thing1Thing2]

Wish I had time to read this entire thread through, but don't have time! With trying to get to the bottom of my DS1's (3 years) Aspergers type issues and trying to take care of DS2 (8 months) who has reflux/colic/allergies or whatever they DX a baby with who won't sleep and cries - I barely get time to pee!

I have a half sister with Aspergers and I believe my father was diagnosed as well. Before DS1 was born, I had no idea what Aspergers was - just that it was something that ran in my family and I think I believed it was similar to ADHD. The more I learn about Aspergers, the more I am beginning to believe I might have it. The inability to express my emotions, the overwhelming/confusing feeling of these emotions. some days not being able to make a meal, the scatterbrained attempts at keeping the house clean - the social anxiety, but huge need to be accepted, the need to retreat from sounds, textures, sights that all overwhelm me every day - and yes, Harper Rose the meltdowns.

I'm not too focused on getting a diagnosis since my main concern is getting my DS diagnosed.

Just wondering if anyone thinks that the traits could be learned by our children. Sometimes I wonder if DS is typical, but picking up the thought process from me somehow.

Edited by Thing1Thing2 - 5/16/12 at 6:19pm

[EarthRootsStarSoul]

Originally Posted by Thing1Thing2 

Just wondering if anyone thinks that the traits could be learned by our children. Sometimes I wonder if DS is typical, but picking up the thought process from me somehow.

No, my 8yo is as NT as can be. 
 

[Thing1Thing2]

Yah.. I guess it's just hopeful thinking!

[orlakelly]

Id say there are load, its just back then there was no diagnosis and people were just thought of being a bit peculiar!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Thing1Thing2 

Just wondering if anyone thinks that the traits could be learned by our children. Sometimes I wonder if DS is typical, but picking up the thought process from me somehow.

no but yes.

I think that Asperger's is caused by a brain being wired differently, and it really doesn't matter if the child is adopted and raised by others, it just is what it is.

(for the record, I'm a NT bubbly extrovert, but my DH would most likely be dx'd with Asperger's or something similar if he were a child now. I've done 90% of the child rearing because he works long hours and travels with his job, and one of kids is just like him.)

None the less, something I've noticed in other families is that when the parent(s) have social challenges, it makes it even harder for the kids to learn the skills. The kids need to be taught directly and have a great deal of help. It's not that the kids learned it from the parents, but that that parents struggle with the same skills and therefore are limited in their ability to help the kids.

[FarmerBeth]

Not specific to ASD, but along the lines of learned versus genetic behavior, organizational skills are hard for parents with ADHD, and in some ways with NVLD or spectrum disorders to teach to kids.  DH has severe attentional problems and I have the typical NVLD problem of hyper focusing and not switching attention easily (pretty common with ASD, too) as well as some weird ways of physically organizing stuff (it's organized but not good decorating, rooms that have to look good can't be rooms I do work in).  Anyway, my very NT daughter is way more organized than the rest of us but still has stacked groupings of items like I do and dislikes environments where people are doing lots of things at once.  She's just accustomed to how we do things in our home.  The difference is that she can do things the "typical" way but my ASD son can't despite lots of professional help.

[Thing1Thing2]

Thanks for the thoughts - totally understand about organizational skills. For one, I think DS would be much better off if I could just figure out what I'm doing every day. I also tend to hyper focus and lose sight of the point of things. I have areas in my house that are either extremely, abnormally organized or totally a mess. I feel he doesn't know what to expect, because I'm not consistent.

He thinks like me, but he behaves more like my Aspie sister (who he has only met once).I'm more introverted, although I do have a need for attention. My sister and DS are so extroverted that people kind of are scared off by them. And the fact that I'm introverted doesn't help him with social skills at all. I would rather have him learn to meet his own need for attention than to teach him how to get the kind of attention he needs from others. 

I'm also a very quiet person, with sensitive hearing, but DS enjoys making loud noises all day long even though I know he also has sensitive hearing. I guess we just react to the overstimulation in different ways.

[natesmamma]

Wow, Thing1Thing2  I could have written that entire post myself! It's nice to know there are others like me!!!

[umami_mommy]

 I would rather have him learn to meet his own need for attention than to teach him how to get the kind of attention he needs from others. 

i'm confused. what does this mean? how can you meet your own needs for attention without getting attention from others? 

[Thing1Thing2]

LolLol! You're right - that sounds so confusing - and hilarious!

Let me put it this way instead.  If I need attention, or feel neglected there are things I can do to substitute. I can pamper myself or read self help books. I can write in my journal or I can cook a wonderful meal. All of these things are enrichments to my life.  I feel these are all healthy ways to give myself the attention I need.

Not to say that I have a lack of a social life. I do have many people who care about me and who I can talk with, but sometimes it's too much work for me to follow all the social rules and regiments. It does meet some of my social needs, but mostly it drains me.

My DS on the other hand, when he needs attention, he just goes *barreling* into whoever he can. Making loud noises and getting in personal space, among other things. And having no sense at all that he the other child is frustrated with him.

Edited by Thing1Thing2 - 5/24/12 at 8:11am