Not an easy road, is it? Make sure you don't give up on letting your DH know what you need. Tell him "I'm too tired right now to make you lunch, can you do it today?" You might have to admit that you'll need to ask him because that's how his brain works, but you shouldn't resign yourself to thinking you have to do everything and never have breaks. Assert your needs, schedule them on the fridge if you have to. I go through this particular issue with my DH due to his ADHD, and I can remember people asking how I could put up with needing to remind him of everything. But, he does give me what I need because I don't accept less, and I literally schedule it (he gets a list). I have my own schedule to make me work, he's no different. And in fairness, lots of spouses of NT men have similar complaints on the personal growth board. Lots of men aren't raised in a culture of "This is what just needs to get done" outside of their paid work, so they need to be told.
If you are telling him and he's still not helping, be really clear that it's not something you feel you can handle over a prolonged time and you need him to work on this for you to have a relationship that works. Make sure he gets in the habit of using words, too, instead of just expecting you to be a certain way. Words are great! They clear up all kinds of misconceptions! Just make sure you word things in terms of "I need or I feel" instead of "you are being..." or "you never/always": that just gets hurtful and confusing.