Getting 10 month old to sleep

[kdf]

Our 10 month old does not sleep very well. He is in our room to sleep. Up until 3 weeks ago we had the crib attached to the bed. Now we just have the crib in our room. I will nurse him to sleep but when I go to put him down he will wake up and I am not big on the whole cry it out thing so I usually just pick him up and try to get him to go back to sleep by nursing and then just hold him all evening and usually all night he sleeps in my arms. Now I don't mind sleeping with him all night, I actually like it b/c he is my last. But I really need him to go down in the evenings and for his nap. Now I know I have done this three times before but I have no idea what we did with the other three. So I need help on what I should do to get him to sleep for naps and evening. I don't think he is getting enough sleep. 

[wehrli]

my DS was/is like this... he will "only" be nursed to sleep. he will wake up if i try and put him down. the only other way we can get him to sleep is to wear him in the ergo, but then he doesn't transfer to any surface... he wakes up and needs nursing down. like you, i don't mind cosleeping but his bedtime was, like, 6:00p! i needed some time with DP in the evenings, or some time to just get some things done, or just have some "me" time. i was finally able to get him to fall asleep in our bed (around 7mo) by nursing side-lying. i would unlatch him, or really wait until he was good and alseep and unlatched himself, and then i would ever so slowly roll away. the process sometimes took 45 min. in the begining, he awoke a lot as i was rolling away. slowly it got easier. at first he would wake every hour, i'd go back in, nurse him back down and he'd sleep another hour. it would go on like that until i'd join him in our bed. eventually, my DP grew weary of not being able to go into the bedroom or crawl into bed and fall asleep without worrying about waking him. i thought and thought about what we could change. he was starting to sleep 2-3 hour at a stretch and i decided he could sleep in his own bed/room for at least the first part of the night, if only i could nurse him in his own bed. i thought a floor bed could be the answer. a twin mattress would have been preferable, but we didn't have the $$ for a new bed for him, esp since he had never even slept in his crib... not even once. we put the crib mattress on the floor and added a toddler bed rail that folds down. we started off by just hanging out on his mattress during the day - reading books, nursing, quiet play, etc. then one night, DP's parents were over and didn't leave before his bedtime. they don't know about our cosleeping, so i took him to his room, layed (crunched up and a little awkward but not too bad) on his bed with him and nursed him to sleep just as i had been in our bed. i was able to roll away almost as easy. he started waking up every hour again, for a while but soon it was back to 2-3 hour stretches until i went to bed. most of the time we were able to fall asleep before he awoke, and then i would get him and bring him to bed. we are still doing this now, only there have been two nights now (last night was one) where he slept for 6 straight hours!!! (too bad i didn't sleep until the last three hours of that, but, hey, whatever... he slept through the night!)

now naps are another story... i can't roll away from him with nearly the ease and he almost always wakes after a half hour. he's my first, i'm a SAHM, so i usually just stay next to him (in our bed) for the duration of his naps. so i'm no help there. i really need to start working on that.

anyway, i hope my lengthy response is of some help... good luck!

ps. he's almost 10mo now, so it took almost 3 months to get here. don't give up!

[Magali]

It took me until my dd was over a year to figure it out.  What works is I do our nighttime routine, nurse her to sleep in my arms, and put her sleeping into her pack n play.  Then 9 times out of ten, she opens her eyes and starts screaming.  And I tell her, no baby it is time for bed, and I sit next to her where she can fully see me,  while she screams for about 5 mins and then all of a sudden she falls asleep.  I discovered it out of sheer frustration one night when I just couldn't handle another night of lying with her and nursing her all night long.  I thought I would just put her in her bed for a couple of minuted so I could regroup...but she fell asleep..leaving dh and I dumbfounded.  It's a whole new world for us now.  I was so scared to let her cry, but she is ok and she is getting a lot of sleep now.  I would never let her cry alone, and abhor CIO, and some nights I can tell she needs a little extra nursing so I'll pick her up and try again.  But yeah, it's ok, really ok for a baby to cry a little bit.  Not sure about a 10 month old, because my dd was over a year before we started this.

[kacie47]

I know there are a lot of people who don't agree with the "cry it out" method but it really does work.  I didnt believe in it at first.  It was extremely hard to do but I'm so glad that I did it.  My son just turned 8 months and he goes to sleep on his own.  The first night was the worst.... he cried for 42 minutes.  The 2nd night was 12 minutes off and on.  By the 3rd night, he cried for about 10 seconds and that was it!  He now puts himself to sleep.  He also puts himself to sleep for naps.  Letting him cry it out hasn't affected him in any way... he's a very happy baby!!        

[bookwise]

i don't have an answer, just commiseration. i have an almost 10 month old baby girl (in 9 days!) and lately her sleep has been hoooorrrrrrible. i refuse to do CIO so there's been a lot of nursing lately (hello, lop-sided breasts), but i figure, and hope, it's a phase. teething has been fast and furious lately, so that's part of it, and she's eating a lot more solids than she did before she had upper and lower teeth, so there's a lot of adjustments going on there. plus cruising like crazy. SO! here's hoping it passes for both of us. and soon. ;)

[MoonWillow]

I know Mothering has been through a lot of changes in the past but we still do not advocate conversations that defend cry it out.

Please read the guidelines above this forum as well as our User Agreement. 

Mothering has no interest in hosting recommendation of CIO or harsh sleep training methods.  Please do not post to promote or defend these practices. 

[LizFischer]

I don't know if it will work for you little guy, but for our very active, independent and strong-willed younger daughter (who just refused to nap at all period), I would nurse her to sleep then put her down. She would ALWAYS wake up crying as soon as she realized she wasn't nursing anymore, usually about five minutes later. I'd be fully dressed again, pick her up and soothe her by patting her back and swaying side to side until she fell asleep and then put her back down. The first time I tried this, we did it every five minutes for her entire two-hour nap (the amt of time she'd usually sleep attached to the milk factory). Over the course of doing this (EXHAUSTING) experiment for two weeks, we gradually moved from every five minutes to her sleeping independently. It worked beautifully at night, too, and since sleep begets sleep, her whole rest schedule was improved.

Good luck!!! =)

[malayasmommy]

I have the same issue with my almost 10 month old.  It's been frustrating--I am spending 2 hours per day trying to get him to nap, he naps for MAYBE 40 min per day, and in the meantime my poor 4-year-old is parked in front of the TV during that time.  The end result is that she is mommy-deprived, my baby is sleep deprived, and I'm patience deprived.  I have been wondering about the idea of putting him down in his co-sleeper, and if he starts to cry, staying by him and "shhh-ing" him, patting his back, etc. but not picking him up.  Doing this until he falls asleep.  I KNOW his problem is that he can't get himself back to sleep once he wakes up, and I don't know how to help him learn how to do that. 

I've given this a try on a spur-of-the-moment, and I see his little face and tears and him looking at me like "mom, why aren't you picking me up?" and it breaks my heart.  But he is obviously SOOO sleep deprived that I know it causes him harm to have that happening as well.  I don't know what to do!

Sorry to hijack your post.  But I'm right there with you, and will be looking for some helpful responses as well.  :-)