When is it ok to night wean?

[fairytalemomma]

I have a 10 month old who is waking me up to nurse every hour at night. He is my third baby so I have been nursing continuously for over 5 years, most of that time including night wakings. I didn't night wean my older two until they were 2 and 18 months but really I'm just done. I feel bad for wanting to start so early with my baby but I'm tired of being woken up. After more than 5 years I'm ready for a full nights sleep! Also I know this is the first step to getting him to sleep independently. I hope in the next 6 months to a year to have him sleeping in the room with his older brother so that my husband can move back into my bed. (It's been 5 years of this!)

So my question really is, at 10 months do you think he is able to go from about 10pm-6am without a feeding? I obviously don't want to starve him but I'm not sure if hes really hungry or if its just habit and comfort.

Now if he has already nursed withing the last hour or so I just cuddle him and he does fall back to sleep after about 5 minutes of crying. But I wonder if I just told him we don't nurse at dark he would stop waking so much or at least settle himself quicker.

Advice please, much appreciated!

[Asiago]

Originally Posted by fairytalemomma 

Now if he has already nursed withing the last hour or so I just cuddle him and he does fall back to sleep after about 5 minutes of crying. But I wonder if I just told him we don't nurse at dark he would stop waking so much or at least settle himself quicker.

I think he is hungry and needing comfort too, both are equally important, especially if he actually crying.

The timeframe you laid out for your other nurslings seems better.

[OSUvet]

I agree with Asiago. My nursling is almost 12 months, and I really don't feel like he could yet fully understand if I explained to him no nursing when it's dark. But, I can understand your reasons for wanting to wean - I am pretty tired after 12 months and this is my first child! I hope you can work something out that is gentle for your little one, it's not his fault that he is third. 

[sosurreal09]

If you feel like you have to Dr. Jay has a gentle method http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

That being said I still haven't NW my 28 m/o and I'm pregnant. I tried a couple of months ago and it was just too much for her she screamed and screamed for hours no matter what I did and it happened every waking. Tried it 2 weeks she woke up the same amount.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

[Youngfrankenstein]

I'm sorry you're going through this.  My last baby has been a terrible sleeper.  She still wakes up at least once a night and she's 26 months.  She was wean just before she turned two.

If you feel you must night-wean for  your sanity, then proceed gently.  If this is you thinking he will STTN by night-weaning, it might not be the case.  He seems on the young side to try. 

I would suggest trying different sleeping arrangements.  Are you co-sleeping, try sleeping apart.  Are you sleeping apart?  Try co-sleeping.  KWIM?

Again, if you are really struggling and feel like this can't go on, talk to your partner (if you have one) and see if they could help with the process.  I don't want you feel like night weaning is wrong, it's not.  I just think it will tough at this age.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein 

If you feel you must night-wean for  your sanity, then proceed gently.  If this is you thinking he will STTN by night-weaning, it might not be the case.  He seems on the young side to try. 

I would suggest trying different sleeping arrangements.  Are you co-sleeping, try sleeping apart.  Are you sleeping apart?  Try co-sleeping.  KWIM?

Again, if you are really struggling and feel like this can't go on, talk to your partner (if you have one) and see if they could help with the process.  I don't want you feel like night weaning is wrong, it's not.  I just think it will tough at this age.

I agree with this advice. 

[sosurreal09]

I second Nwing does not equal STTN! I know a lot of toddlers who are weaned or never even nursed who do not STTN.

[fairytalemomma]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I guess I'll just have to stick with it. I figured that would be the answer, he is so young, I'm just so sick of this! Husband works nights so he's not there to help. Thanks

[Imakcerka]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this... but honestly if it's really hard on you right now I certainly do not think there is anything wrong with NW.  When DD2 was around 11 months she slept through the night.  Not something DD1 did.  However when she did wake she wasn't hungry... and honestly I wasn't too worried about her being hungry.  The hefer weighed in at 20 lbs at 4 mos.  I started leaving a bottle or sippy depending on what she favored for the week by the nightstand and she would take that instead of waking me.  All kids are different but if yours would be able to transition easily into going with a little water in a sippy or bottle rather than needing a meal I don't think it's going to be that harmful.  She went on to nurse til she was close to two.  I weaned her anticepating a deployment that never came. (Thank judas for that!)

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

I'm probably going to get flamed for this... but honestly if it's really hard on you right now I certainly do not think there is anything wrong with NW.  When DD2 was around 11 months she slept through the night.  Not something DD1 did.  However when she did wake she wasn't hungry... and honestly I wasn't too worried about her being hungry.  The hefer weighed in at 20 lbs at 4 mos.  I started leaving a bottle or sippy depending on what she favored for the week by the nightstand and she would take that instead of waking me.  All kids are different but if yours would be able to transition easily into going with a little water in a sippy or bottle rather than needing a meal I don't think it's going to be that harmful.  She went on to nurse til she was close to two.  I weaned her anticepating a deployment that never came. (Thank judas for that!)

I don't think there's anything wrong with her trying to nightwean. We just want her to be realistic and not to get frustrated if it doesn't "work".

[anjsmama]

You could consider partial nightweaning? Like, if your LO wakes up 4 times per night - nurse the first time, some other soothing (does he take a pacifier?) and cuddles the second time, nurse the 3rd time, and cuddles the second time ? This could at the very least give you more hours to sleep in a row. I did this with my DD and she now only wakes twice/night. She goes to bed at 7 pm in her room, and wakes at 10 pm and I nurse her there, and then I have my own time to sleep in my own bed until about 2 am and then I bring her to my bed and she nurses back to sleep until 7 am. It's not perfect bliss, but it's not stressful and exhausting either. I'm getting more sleep now than I have since I first became pregnant more than 4 years ago.  I do agree with the PP though - if he's actually crying, not just fussing and whining, he's really needing to nurse. Partial nightweaning DD from 10 months on (she just turned 1) didn't involve any crying. It might not bring your DH back to bed yet but it may help pave the way toward independent sleeping and eventual night weaning. My DD  now has no problems with her crib, she doesn't cry when she wakes up or panic at being in it, she realizes that all she has to do is sit up and say "Mom" and I'm there. That alone makes me feel that independent sleeping will come sooner than later.

Originally Posted by fairytalemomma 

I have a 10 month old who is waking me up to nurse every hour at night. He is my third baby so I have been nursing continuously for over 5 years, most of that time including night wakings. I didn't night wean my older two until they were 2 and 18 months but really I'm just done. I feel bad for wanting to start so early with my baby but I'm tired of being woken up. After more than 5 years I'm ready for a full nights sleep! Also I know this is the first step to getting him to sleep independently. I hope in the next 6 months to a year to have him sleeping in the room with his older brother so that my husband can move back into my bed. (It's been 5 years of this!)

So my question really is, at 10 months do you think he is able to go from about 10pm-6am without a feeding? I obviously don't want to starve him but I'm not sure if hes really hungry or if its just habit and comfort.

Now if he has already nursed withing the last hour or so I just cuddle him and he does fall back to sleep after about 5 minutes of crying. But I wonder if I just told him we don't nurse at dark he would stop waking so much or at least settle himself quicker.

Advice please, much appreciated!

[wishin'&hopin']

We nightweaned initially at 11 months (by having non nursing parent respond to night wakings) but then un night weaned because of several major transitions (a month of travel and a move half way across the country).  Then we tried again at 14 months by having the non nursing parent respond to night wakings...which worked well, and in out house, night weaning did mean STTN.  We are still nursing and will probably day wean around 3 y/o if DS doesn't decide to wean sooner (he nursed 3-5 times a day currently, lately more like three).  Twice this week I nursed at night b/c DS has been quite sick and we needed to use a nebulizer in the middle of the night...and this doesn't seem to have re-started any desire to nurse at night.  

OP--I hope you find a way that works for everyone in your family, including you and baby :)  Whatever that way is.