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This is Rob, My DH who Died  

post #1 of 15
5/19/02 at 10:47pm
Thread Starter 
Tomorrow night, my ds and I are planning on closing at our family grief and loss group. I have been sick for a week and really don't feel like going, but we had this planned a month ago. Anyways, its a bittersweet ending. Very sad, but I feel like we have come a long, long way. My sweet ds even said today, "Mom, you don't cry very much anymore, is that why we are closing at Bridges?" He is so perceptive for a little guy and I am so proud of him.

Tonight, I was doing a "search" about suicide, grief and loss and I came across this website that had my HUSBAND'S picture on it. I have been sitting her shaking, because it was done by his sister, whom we don't have contact with due to her and her family blaming me for his death.

Wish me luck tomorrow night.

Thanks for listening~

Lisa
post #2 of 15
5/19/02 at 11:19pm
((Lisa))
My thoughts are with you! It must have been so hard to lose your dh and it seems like you might not have had family support. I'm glad you and your ds found a group to connect with.

It's amazing how much time and connection can help us heal.

I hope the group closing goes well.
post #3 of 15
5/19/02 at 11:25pm
Oh Lisa ((((((((hugs))))))))))

I am so proud of you and so sorry his family blames you. Sometimes we need someone to blame when we are hurting. It doesn't make it easier on the person being blamed, though...

When my aunt Mary killed herself all of my aunts began to hate her husband, Bob. He certainly isn't perfect, but Mary chose to end her life on her own.

I applaud your ending at Bridges and will be thinking of you. It's a big step in the healing process for you, isn't it? Dane, too, I am sure.

Much love,
post #4 of 15
5/20/02 at 2:04am
Wow...thanks for posting a pic. I think I will check out that 1000 deaths site. I look forward to hearing how the closing went.
post #5 of 15
5/20/02 at 9:58am
Thank you for sharing that Lisa. I know how it must have struck you when you came across this.


Please be gentle - you know that greif can comprimise your immune system - I wonder if that's part of why your still sick. Please take care of yourself and let me know if I can help you. Give Dane a hug for me
post #6 of 15
5/22/02 at 8:54am
Lisa, I think it is wonderful you feel strong enough to continue without your program now. You are really an amazing woman and it is so amazing the way you and your children grieve together.

as for your SIL...wow I understand she needs to grieve and mourns the loss of her brother very much but...well..I guess I don't really know what to say
post #7 of 15
5/23/02 at 2:40am
I want you to know Lisa, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you are such a strong incredible person. I will be thinking of you. Dane is so lucky to hvae you as his Mom. Love and hugs, Julie and Zoey
post #8 of 15
5/23/02 at 2:25pm

{{{{{Lisa & Dane}}}}}

I hope the night went well for you ... I can only imagine how difficult finding closure for this situation must be, with or without family support, I'm glad you're taking your son on such a great journey. HE will at least have the opportunity not to make his family members emotional mistakes.

"God never give you more than you can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." ~mother teresa
post #9 of 15
5/25/02 at 3:09am
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. You guys are always there to listen~I appreciate that so much! Our closing went well~bittersweet. I remember first going to Bridges. I was so scared, numb and lost deep in my grief and my ds was so quiet and clingy to me. He has emerged an independent, loving and sensitive little boy who shares openly at the end of group. I am so proud of him!

Thanks!!!

Lisa
post #10 of 15
5/25/02 at 3:18am
peace and love lisa to you and your son. You are really incredibly strong.
post #11 of 15
5/25/02 at 8:05am
(((((((Lisamarie)))))))))

Thanks for sharing.

Alison
post #12 of 15
5/28/02 at 5:20pm
hi Lisa Marie-
I'm so sorry that you can accross this with no forwarning. Did the sister even ask you if she could use your little boys name in a public forum like that? Not to make you upset even more, but it would make me very angry if someone gave a bio with full name over the internet of one of our sons w/o my permission, especially if it was in the context of a painful issue like suicide or death.

I was struck by a lack of compassion for you when I read the whole thing, and it helps me see even more what you have been dealing with.

continue to take care,

DeAnna
post #13 of 15
5/28/02 at 8:27pm
Thread Starter 
Deanna~

Thanks for posting! No, my SIL didn't ask my permission and yes, it did bother me too in the same aspect as you were describing. I have spoken w/the woman who started the website and she is such a warm and caring person, which was very comforting.

Thanks again for your thoughts and concern.

Much Love~

Lisa
post #14 of 15
5/29/02 at 8:43am
By the way, the line no longer works?
post #15 of 15
5/29/02 at 11:38am
Thread Starter 
I know that I've had trouble too.

Hugs~

Lisa
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