Don't know how else to erase my post. Deleting content.
Edited by terifinn - 1/27/12 at 9:48am
At 20 mos or even 2 yrs, I wouldn't put a child into their own room without a monitor. Especially with the door closed. My almost 2 1/2 yo still wakes in the night calling for mama - without a monitor he'd be CIO because I'd never hear it from our room.
I will say though that unless you're running the vacuum or doing other loud things, most kids can sleep through regular moving around noise. I was so worried about that at first, but after a while realized that I could leave his door open (a crack), and be able to hear him easier before I went into the bedroom (where the monitor is set up), and he never stirred. But this is the kid that takes forever for me to wake up intentionally, YMMV.
Sorry you're upset. To answer your original question, we bought DS a big kid bed after his 1st birthday mainly because he hated his crib anyway. At that age he still slept with us though because he wasn't nightweaned and rolling over at 2am is easier than getting up.
I get your concern about her thinking that the baby is taking her bed. I would let your daughter be part of the process. Take her with you to pick out the bed and bedding, etc. and use the next couple of months before the baby to get her used to the idea. Snuggle with her on the new bed, read books together there. Make it a cool place for her.