Hi! I just joined because my husband and I bedshare with our daughter, who has her first birthday in a few days, and I need to vent/have a few questions about how things are going for us.
So, my daughter, has been, and relatively speaking still is, a good sleeper and has been since birth. We bedshare by choice; I'm breastfeeding and she still likes to night nurse, and it's just easier that way. Also, as a full time working mom I like the extra closeness that it gives us. I've also been against CIO as a philosophy since reading about the debate long ago. A couple months ago, however, I started questioning my choices for a couple reasons. Well, first of all, since we never did any sleep training, she does need to be put to sleep; sometimes nursing on its own does the trick, other times she'll need to be rocked for awhile, but almost never for very long (max would be an hour, but it's usually nowhere near that long). Still, she has little to no ability to go to sleep on her own. It's the same for night wakings; never in her life has she woken up in the night and then not gone back to sleep after nursing (yes, I know I'm lucky), but she is still waking fairly often. When she was younger I could give her her pacifier and she'd go back to sleep, but now she wants the boob. I'm fairly certain she is not hungry and just wants it for comfort reasons.
Also, we used to be able to get her to take naps and start the night in her crib once we had her asleep, but, because we weren't consistent about it, she won't do that anymore. Even if we think she's soundly asleep (including if she's been asleep for a couple hours and we try to transfer her from our bed to the crib), she pulls to standing and starts screaming hysterically as soon as we put her down. I do love bedsharing, but I would like for my husband and me to have the bed to ourselves at least sometimes, and I wonder what I've gotten us into.
So, I guess I just have a couple questions.
1. I know the experts who advocate co sleeping say bedsharing kids will eventually leave their parents' beds on their own, but has this been your experience? Was the transition out hard? WILL she ever learn to go to sleep without nursing and/or rocking?
2. What about putting a mattress on the floor of her room, and co-sleeping with her there for part of the night?
3. Just tell me I'm not doing something wrong by not doing any sleep training with her! Sometimes I feel like I messed up a good sleeper by choosing to bedshare when she didn't really "need" it.