How you keep house half decent?

[NewMom0208]

Hello

I have always been messy and household "challenged"
But since I divorced I don't seem to keep up.
I have to admit my ex used to do a lot around the house.
My son is 3 and he does pick up every time I ask, is mommy the one who doesn't do a good job at that.
I work full time
I do know the other thing that is not helping is that I don't work put at all, nothing! So my energy is very low, other than chasing my son, that is. So I am typically dragging myself around after 8pm.

Not complaining, just providing facts, my son is an economic sleeper, he just sleeps from 10pm to 7am, and that is without naps!

Any tips, tricks, magic wands, I need a Martha steward spell!
Help! I am tired of having to walk sideways and not being able to receive anybody home.
I end up avoiding being here

I did try flylady And messies anonymous, but I found those too tough. I need idiot's proof instructions.

Any other moms have or used to have this problem?

[Mom31]

I totally totally totally have this problem...  I have no solution but I do have a friend that comes and helps me catch up... actually two different friends.  only work part time- I just feel like I am shoveling in a snow storm.

[mami2f3]

I need help too. I couldn't handle the fly lady plan either. I alllllways have a pile of dishes. Actually, my parents came over tonight and helped with the pile while I made dinner. Then when dinner was over and cleared, my stepdad came in the kitchen and looked at the stack and said, genuinely, "Where did all of those come from?" I said,  "Dinner and dessert for 6!!!" He was totally nice about it, but they took off and I'm right where I started...in the midst of the neverending dishes cycle. 

I am totally challenged and I really don' tknow how to start a new habit without resenting it. Though I have to say, it was way worse when I was married and my ex was so scornful about it without doing a lick to help. And I do think I am maybe a bit better without his pressure, though it may just be I don't feel the stress. 

Okay, so the one and only tip I have is: invite people over. Start with the most understanding friend, but still make it an event. That way you have a deadline to clean up for. It hurts to scramble right before they come over, but it's nice to have it a bit cleaner after. I've been doing just wine and cheese, so I don't have to cook or anything, and can spend my prep time cleaning. that's really the only time my house approaches clean. 

I guess I have one more: my BFF is like us and she says she's just setting more reasonable expectations for others (by example). I like that.

Anyway, I'm gonna lurk and hope for some tips.

[rubelin]

One thing that has helped me is to notice the times of the day that things naturally flow for me. I just can't clean at night, so the dishes get piled into the sink after dinner and I rinse/wash them in the mornings. I also make sure to put away whatever *I* have used when I am finished so the clutter is usually only from the kids.

The other thing is that I don't clean for anyone else but me. We've got cluttered spots (like the table by the back door) and the house is never "clean" (the floors get swept but never scrubbed 'cause that is a very low priority for me), but it's not horrible and I don't feel suffocated by it and that makes a huge difference.

It's been a huge deal for me to learn to cut myself some slack. I'm raising and homeschooling 2 kids by myself while trying to work from home - it's ok that the carpet doesn't get vacuumed more often =P

[maeby]

having people over on a regular basis is the ONLY thing that has worked for me. once a week i pick up my sons friend and have him over so that keeps the common area's clean. having a friend over on the weekend gets me to clean my room. i have tried schedules and it just doesn't stick. i usually just clean all night long the night before someone is coming over.

[NewMom0208]

Count your helpers among your blessings ,
I have no family close by.

I think you are right about having people over. So I guess the whole thing is a motivation issue?
I do my best, I am dreaming of working from home, and i thought i had to solve this problem first... But maybe not.

I am too a morning person, I just shout down at night, I have woken up at 4 to clean a couple times. But with my son not going to sleep until almost 10, that is hard for me.

Keep the tips coming!

I bought "organized from the inside out"... I'll let you know if it makes a difference, i got it ebook because I'm trying to have as little stuff as I can...
I just finished picking up the living room and dinning, that was my goal for the day. The rest is a mess.

I gave up trying to get the clothing to the laundry. I put a laundry basket on each room and one on the living room, it helps me. I might need to do the same with garbage baskets.
I do have an issue with replacing the bag on the garbage basket, they need to invent a system where you can set up 3 bags at a time!

[mami2f3]

Oh the garbage bag thing: I did at one point shove a bunch of extra empty bags down in the bottom of the can before I put the bag in. Then when I take out the full bag, there's one down below to start fresh with. I'm not consistent but it works for a while...

And I absolutely cherish the support I get from my family! Even if it's once a month, it seriously feels like so much more help than I got with ex. And less judgement. I wish for you someone like this will pop into your life!

[CorriJ]

I'm not a mom, but I do have a messy house. Hope it's ok if i give a few suggestions. 

Not sure if it's possible but could you find a teenager (child of a friend maybe?) would would be willing to make $10-20 once in a while. If you can afford the expense, and the teen is trusty you might be able to wrangle out some help on simple chores like dishes?
 

If you know someone else who has a child of a similar age could you trade off a few hours of watching. The kids go over to friends house one day, then to yours another? I know cleaning on a day off wouldn't be fun though. 

Cutting down on clutter. The more you have the more there is to be a mess. If you have (as an example) 20 dinner plates it's tempting to let them stack up rather then wash the ones you just used. Is it possible to cut down to a day or twos worth of plates/glasses/silverware that way you have to wash them quick. Same goes for laundry. 

Those are all I can think of off the top of my head. 

[NewMom0208]

Good one Corryj
Mommy2f3, I will try the bag trick

Actually, the book Im reading now suggest that even us messies always have something that does work, I had to think hard but these are mines:

1) cd/DVD and photos. One day I simply got fed up. I went to the store and bought s nice cd holder sleeve StyleWriter which Williams holding about 500 cd/DVD. Which is several times more than I have. I came back from the store and stated putting every DVD on it, in ANY order inside the organizer. I got rid of all the covers.

Yes, I have a yoga DVD next to Winnie pooh, but I don't care, they are all there And there are never DVD or DVD cases laying around!

The organizer itself is inside of one of the 4 drawers on the tv stand.

Success!

I did the same with cd's and photos. They are not a source of mess for me

How about you? What is the one thing you are able to consistently keep organized, or that you never loose, or an area that stays tidy. How do you do it?

[VocalMinority]

If you want advice from someone who's achieved housekeeping perfection, skip mine!  But here's what I have to offer:

1- Have reasonable expectations of yourself.  Banish any assumptions you may have, that all the other moms have it more figured out than you do.  Of course a single, working mom with a 3-year-old will not have a spic-and-span home!  Many moms in your shoes who DO either have help (a cleaning lady, their mother, older kids who do chores...), or they prioritize appearances over spending time with their kids.  Aiming for perfection can make housework seem depressing and impossible; whereas being gentle, reasonable and forgiving of yourself makes you feel hopeful and helps you recognize your progress, even when you don't have time to finish everything.

2- Think outside the box.  I often find an hour of reorganizing produces more - long-term - than an hour of doing the same old tasks, the same old way, one more time (then feeling frustrated when it just needs to be re-done in a few days).  Tasks that only take a minute, like putting things away, actually consume a crazy amount of time, when you think about how many little tasks there are in a day (with a 3-year-old).  Thoughtful organizing (such that putting things in their place is actually just as easy - or easier - than tossing things somewhere and thinking, "I'll put it away later") is key.  If things stay more-or-less where they belong, it eliminates a lot of work.  So be watchful:  What - specifically - makes a task hard to keep up with?  How could it be done or organized differently?  Then DO that.  I'm going to offer an example, so you know what kind of thing I'm talking about.  But no one can really tell you how to organize your space.  Only you know how you live, what your kid's like and what works for you.  The key is to be open-minded about what you actually need (and follow through on giving it to yourself), not get stuck in conventional ideas of where things are supposed to go, or how they're supposed to be done.

For example, we currently have one main bathroom, for six people, with one little closet for everyone's toiletries, plus towels, toilet paper, etc.  Cleaning the bathroom took forever, because the closet was so crammed and cluttered that no one but me seemed to understand where things were supposed to go.  Everyone else just kind of tossed their stuff wherever and I kept having to spend time putting things back in their places, when it got too crazy.  So:

> I got "dopp kits" for our older 3 boys and now they keep all their toiletries in their rooms and bring them into the bathroom only as needed.  Also, now all their stuff is always packed and ready to take to the gym, or sports practice, or if they go somewhere overnight.  

> I gave our preschooler a drawer under the sink, for his stuff, where I previously kept washcloths.  Now, I no longer spend even one minute of my day getting out or putting away his toothbrush, tub tints, etc.  He can reach everything and enjoys doing it himself.  

> In the closet, there's more room for towels (and washcloths) and only DH's and my toiletries are there, so we're not competing with all the kids, to find space for our razors.

> Now, cleaning the bathroom is only a matter of spraying and wiping things, because the places things are supposed to go make sense and are easy, so things rarely get out of place.

Or...I got over my idea that before Grandma visits I need to knock myself out getting the house perfect, then sit around chit-chatting with her.  She is FABULOUS with our 3-y-o, so I make sure his play areas are picked up before she gets here (so she doesn't trip over anything), then I let her entertain him while I catch up on housework.  I can still talk to her, in passing, but I get A LOT done - with no guilt about my son being ignored or bored.  He has a blast.  She loves the time with him (and likes feeling genuinely needed here).  Plus, I truly look forward to her visits, instead of feeling burdened to get ready for them, when I already have so much work to do.

3- Let your 3-year-old help.  He can wipe surfaces with a cloth and a spray bottle, or Clorox wipes.  You can hand him things from the washer, to put in the dryer and toss him dirty clothes for the new washer load.  He can load dirty silverware into the dishwasher and sort clean ones into the silverware drawer.  He can vacuum.  Take advantage of it, before he figures out those are chores and doesn't want to do them!  Having him help won't make it go faster, but it will alleviate that torn feeling you have, if he's vegging out in front of the TV while you clean up.

4- Have less stuff.  I know this is easier to say, than do.  But the one time my house seemed constantly, effortlessly tidy was the year I was looking for a house to buy and I rented a little one, in the school district I wanted.  Half our possessions spent that year in the garage, because I knew it was a temporary arrangement; I didn't want to unpack everything then pack it back up; and there wasn't room for it anyway.  As you put things away, ask yourself:  "If I got rid of this and never had to clean it or put it away again, how much would I miss it?"  Or, if you're drowning in preschool toys, divide them into 3 or 4 balanced groups (try to have some puzzles, some cars, some manipulatives, some alphabet toys in each group).  Pack them in cheap, plastic boxes and only get out one box at a time.  Switch them every week or two.  Your kid will be more interested in the toys, if he forgets about them for a while and they seem new.  And he can learn to help pick them up, so you can get out the new box.

[NewMom0208]

A lot of wisdom Jeannine! Thank you so much for being generous with it!

Love it!

I can say that I stay mainly decluterred, the whole process took about 2 years. But now I am only surrounded by stuff I use and/or love, the only exception is, you guessed it, my sons toys.
Now I am a minimalist, which also helps.

Another problem is paper, I might either go to kinkos and get a bunch of stuff scanned, or I might invest on a scanner...

Another item which is a challenge is clothing, having several laundry baskets have helped a lot. They not all look like a laundry basket,the one in the living room is a cute wicker chest

But when clothing is not dirty enough for laundry but not clean enough to put back on the closet, that starts the problem. I guess I need a clothing hanging device thingy outside the closet

If you all girls agree, I would like to start a separate thread for each area of the house. And get better room by room. Play with ideAs.

I agree with you 100%, re organizing is key, trying the same thing over and over is insanity! Insanity I tell you!

[rubelin]

I have one of those over-the-door clothing hooks on my closet door (facing the room) and it was one of the best things I've ever gotten. It's got 5 or 6 double hooks so I can hang up the things that aren't ready to be washed or that I wear sporadically, like the jeans I only wear to park day or my nightgowns. No more clothes hanging over the back of a chair =)

[MrsGregory]

Jeannine had some awesome ideas!  I wanted to add, I find it much, much easier to keep my house clean than to make it clean again.  If you can stay mainly caught up with your dishes (they multiple like bunnies!), then when it comes time to wipe the counter, you're not digging through a ton of dishes to get to the counter.  I keep wipes in the bathroom so I can wipe down the sink after I've used it, and the toilet seat as needed.  Maeby's advice was also awesome.  I instituted an open door policy so I may get a guest at any minute...  it's sometimes the only thing that gets my butt up off the couch and into cleaning mode in the morning!

I sat down and wrote a list of what needed to be done in the home and how often.  And then I scheduled it out.  So, for example, dishes must be done daily.  Same with sweeping.  So I have a set time each day that I do the dishes and sweep the kitchen and entryway.  Bathrooms need to be done once a week, so on Wednesdays I take about an hour and clean both bathrooms top to bottom.  Kitchen gets scrubbed up and down on Monday between 1pm and 3pm.  You just have to choose what needs to be done, and then go on that merry hunt to find time to do it. 

[mowilli3]

I used to have that problem, so I made a big change in myself. I said, I will not sit down until the kids go to bed. That got the house clean and I lost 8 lbs! I forced myself to get up and move because I know that I was mildly depressed and if I got up and did something I could change my mood and accomplish something. Now my energy is much higher and I'm really happy.

I keep it simple.

I sweep everything on the floor into a big pile and tell the kids to pick up what they want to keep.

Clothes are either dirty or clean. Either put them away or put them in the laundry. I know I wash stuff too much sometimes, but if it's on the floor, it gets washed.

It takes 15 mins to do the dishes, so i tell myself that and get to it. I put on some music and sometimes I wear my stripper heels and dance to get a little workout.

I dance with the broom. I sing a song. It feels good to clean up, so I remind myself of the reward and do it. Every morning I make the beds really quickly and throw the clothes in the hamper or the corner where the hamper should be.

[VocalMinority]

Off-topic, but MrsGregory, your close-up of that fat-cheeked baby is SOOOO cute!  I just want to squeeze her!

[MrsGregory]

Thank you Jeannine!  The cheeks really are bananas.  She gets pinched a lot...  I believe it's teaching her patience, grace and tolerance.  Hehe.

[hazeldust]

The most important things to me in terms of cleaning and tidying are #1. My bedroom. I am not at ease when my bedroom is a mess. I try always to make my bed and keep the laundry tidy. A pile of dirty laundry is much better gathered in one basket than scattered on the floor. And I really could care less about the kids' rooms if my room is in order. Thats the room i live in. #2. I do the dishes every day, either in the morning when I get up, or at night before bed. Now I have roomates and they help too, but I don't let it go more than a day. #3. I like to keep the floor swept, and vaccuumed...it makes so much difference in how the room looks. and 4. The bathroom. I clean it at least once a week. It's such an intimate area and gets dirty quickly. It feels good when it is clean. I don't do these things every day, except maybe one and two..the others I do when I can but they are a priority in my mind. I also think decluttering is so important. The less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to care for. I like to think in terms of 'what do I love, and what can I live without'..When I take care of my house, i section things off in my head. For instance, right now the front closet is overflowing with stuff, so in my head I have that as a goal for today. It might take me an hour to clean and declutter this area, and put everything back in an organized way. If you think small, and in baby steps, it's much easier to approach. Good luck and I hope this helps some:)

[Kirstyandgirls]

I'm supposed to be studying so havent read all the replies, so forgive me if it has been mentioned, but I use the flylady routines. (http://www.flylady.com/)

I dont do them all, all the time but the ones that really help are:

*Bathrooms - swish and swipe - most days I wipe all the bathroom surfaces down with a damp cloth, I have a bottle of cheap nice smelling dishsoap next to each toilet brush so i squirt a little down the pan and have a little scrub, also I have a dishwashing brush in the shower so while i'm in there showering i can use a little shampoo on the brush and quickly clean the shower. I intend to 'swish and swipe' every day but only doing it 2 or 3 times a week means my bathrooms are always clean enough

* Laundry - one load a day - I load and run the washer every morning then every evening I hang the clothes on the rack to dry, put the clothes that were on the rack away (I don't iron) and bring all the dirty clothes downstairs. This takes 15 mins max and I love not having a massive pile of dirty laundry to tackle. Also I have three washing baskets next to my washer, a white one for light clothes, a purple one for coloureds and a black one for blacks - so loading the machine only takes a minute because the clothes are already separated.

*dishwasher - I empty the dishwasher before i cook dinner and load it as i go along, if its full by bedtime I start it ... if not I start it after breakfast

*bedlinen - I used to go months before washing my bed clothes but now i do one bed every saturday (mine, dd1 or dd2) that way each person has clean bedclothes every 3 weeks. Not frequent enough for some people but it works for me :)

I try to pick up toys from the floor every night before I go to bed but sometimes I'm too tired but as long as my laundry is done and my kitchen and bathroom are clean I feel like I've done a good job

I love the flylady routines and hope to incorperate more into my life as they really really help me and take so little time

Also my biggest thing is decluttering - I cannot have a tidy clean house if it is full of crap! So I'm really ruthless about what I will keep and what I throw out. And if something is always getting in my way I've started trying to think of storage solutions. For example the kids school bags were always cluttering up the floor in the hall so I bought some cheap sticky hooks and stuck them to the bag of the garage door so now I have a place to hang them

[Kirstyandgirls]

Also housework to loud fast paced music is so much more fun!