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What is wrong with a gifted child who has numerous passions? - Page 2

post #21 of 24


(See my previous comment that people are block-headed.) 



If you think that it's an insult to describe someone as having Asperger's/HFA, you should probably check your assumptions about what that means because you don't understand and you're reacting from misinformation. 



what exactly is ment by these posts?


if you "react" you are a misinformed and block headed?





post #22 of 24



Originally Posted by RiverTam View Post


This analogy sort of proves my point. If someone asks if you're pregnant and you're not, the assumption is that they think you're fat.


Now you can see the OP's confusion and frustration.  It like she's saying, I'm not showing any signs of pregnancy, I haven't gained any weight, I'm not throwing up,...so I don't understand why they are asking me and I am very frustrated. And we are saying, they are asking because you are glowing.   Then you are saying.... why are you calling pregnant people fat slobs. 



And there's a huge amount of hatred for "being fat" in our culture. It's an insulting question because the implication is if you're not pregnant, you're a fat slob. 


See, this is what I mean.  YOU are not only making the "assumption" that I must think that someone is calling me a fat slob, you are also assuming I must have a "hatred" towards fat slobs, (because after all, that's how people in our "culture" perceive things) and that I must find being asked if I am pregnant insulting because I think pregnant people are all fat slobs.    Not what I said, not at all.  Here I am just trying to figure out why everyone thinks I'm pregnant. 


Being pregnant does not equal being overweight.  Being overweight does not equal being pregnant.  Can people who are pregnant also be overweight, sure.  Are they sometimes related?  Yes.  But one is not an indicator of the other.   And it would take a very misinformed person indeed to think that someone who is overweight is a slob and to hate them for it.


To assume that one always comes with the other is incorrect. 

To express frustration that people keep doing this, and wonder why, is understandable.

To assume the the person who is frustrated, is agreeing with the incorrect correlation, and assuming something unrealistic about it out of hatred and ignorance..... 


I can't imagine what it must have felt like to read your response from her perspective. 



All analogy's aside:  I am just trying to say, see it from her point of view.  She is not implying what you are seeing.  And has said so.  AND even apologized for maybe even coming across that way.


post #23 of 24

As annoying as it is, you might also consider that the comment has more to do with the commenter than you or your child. Maybe s/he's looking for someone with whom s/he can share experiences regarding atypical children. Perhaps you can turn it around to let that person talk about him or herself?


"Do you have experience with asbergers/autism?" might open up an interesting dialogue.

post #24 of 24

Agree with expectingjoy.


I might ask some version of, "Oh, why do you ask?" Gentle as pie, out of compassionate curiosity, if you can muster it. I don't do this much, but when I have it really helps distinguish between someone with idle curiosity and someone wondering if you might have a piece of thinking about [whatever the highly personal topic is] that she needs.


And if it's idle curiosity, you can still follow up with, "Nope! He just loves birds!" or whatever variant you like :)



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