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would you let a 9 year old alone at the library? - Page 2

Poll Results: Is it OK for a 9 year old to attend a book club alone at the library?

 
  • 76% (119)
    Yes. Sure. Why not?
  • 6% (10)
    Hmmm. Not so sure
  • 5% (9)
    Absolutely not.
  • 10% (16)
    Maybe.
  • 1% (2)
    The Proverbial Other
156 Total Votes  
post #21 of 109

Yes, when my DS was 9 he was left at the library for programs and activities.  Now at 11 he is allowed to bike to the library by himself. (almost 2 miles each way- this is the distance he would need to travel to get to school if not homeschooled).  DS started taking classes at the library around age 5-6 and I would stay in a different part of the library until he was about 7 or so.  From 7-9 I would vary between drop off and staying.  Now I am fully comfortable doing drop offs but I like to stay because that hour gives me time to browse the shelves, read, do paper work etc.  However I have no issues with DS in the library etc.

 

Our library has a sign up that says 'children under the age of 9 must be accompanied by an adult'.  This means you can not drop your kiddo off for the day etc.  The librarian is not a babysitter, however you do not need to stay for programs etc.

post #22 of 109
Thread Starter 

jayne yeah there are posts in a lot of places that specifically say what cherrybombmama said.

 

dd has been home for long periods of time - but always with the neighbors knowing.

 

she has been asleep, woke up - got herself breakfast (without turning on the stove but used a knife), got herself ready and then played games online and finished homework. she already knew from teh night before she would be alone and i left her a note. i was 10 mins away. 

 

i mean i am not too happy about leaving her alone (not fearful about her but more about neighbors adn CPS). but its something she asks for. and is ok being on her own. 

 

she has emergency knowledge and is a pretty responsible and careful child. 

 

the library is one block away across a fairly busy main street. but the good news is it has lights and crosswalks. so she can even walk over there on her own. we've spent a lot of time on the road since she was 2 so she has excellent road safety knowledge. so i have full confidence in her. however i fear what the police or other adults will say. 

 

its  because of the 12 year rules i dont take for granted that dd can be alone. 

post #23 of 109

But in this instance, she isn't alone. She's with a librarian.

 

Our state has no laws about leaving kids home alone. We started to leave ds home alone for very short periods at 9, he took a Red Cross class about what to do when you're home alone, and at 10, I'm comfortable leaving him for a couple of hours. He enjoys the time to play uninterrupted Wii. We lock the doors and he knows how to get ahold of us, and which neighbors to go to if there's a problem. He won't answer the door, and he can't have friends over. So the "not alone until 12" would be a major pain for us. He really does not want to be dragged to his sister's choir, piano, etc. etc .

post #24 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post

I just can't picture physically leaving the library while my 3-year-old went in.  It's not a daycare center. 
Only for story time or whatever, you can't just drop off a 3yo, you'd walk them to the story time and pick them up as soon as it's over. Age 8 is when you can just drop them off to wander unattended at the library near us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rocketgirl96 View Post

Wow! I have no idea where 3 year olds would be able to be dropped off for storytime or anything else, but around where I live, all pre-school programs pretty much say the parent has to be there (unless you are paying them to watch your child, i.e. parent's night out or something like that).  Definitely all the storytimes in my area would expect the parent to be right there (not just in the building). And even if it was an organized class like sports or gymnastics where the kids go off by themselves with a teacher or coach, the parents are expected to be close at hand - within viewing distance. No drop offs. Since I don't have a 9 year old, I can't comment on how I would feel about that age group, but I'm just shocked to hear about the 3, 4, 5 year olds.....
Sorry if I didn't really contribute to the OP's question - I just couldn't help but comment. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just shocked. smile.gif

That's interesting, maybe it's a regional thing? My DS is just about 3 and lots of the things he & his friends have been going to are suddenly parent-free (as long as they are potty trained). Story time, yoga class, music class, gymnastics... some require parents to stay in the building & others expect or require parents to leave. In fact, we aren't going to some of our previous activities because I don't feel DS is ready to go alone yet and I too can't imagine physically leaving him there at this age so we are sticking to parent-child activities.
post #25 of 109

I'm in a small town, but my 9-year-old rides her bike alone to the library in good weather, so yeah I guess so.

post #26 of 109

double post

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

post #27 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post

The rule at our library is children under 10 are supposed to be supervised by an adult or responsible sibling.  I understand the reasoning for the rule -  it is not my job to watch kids.  

 

I must admit I (who work at a library) turn a blind eye to responsible 9 year olds who are alone, though.

 

Some storytimes in this area are parent participation - those that aren't do expect parents or siblings to stay on site.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 


Edited by purslaine - 1/30/12 at 7:05am
post #28 of 109

Either of my 9yo twin boys would be fine going to the library by themselves.  Some of their friends?  Not so much.  I think it depends on the kid.  But in general, I'd say yes, it's fine. 

post #29 of 109

I would be fine with my 9yo child going to a structured activity/club meeting by herself.  I would probably stay in the library, but that's because I like being in the library and I consider it a pita to drop her off, drive home, turn around, and pick her up.  If it worked for me to run errands nearby while she was in the group, I'd feel fine with that.

post #30 of 109
Quote:

Originally Posted by meemee View Post

 

dd has been home for long periods of time - but always with the neighbors knowing.

 

she has been asleep, woke up - got herself breakfast (without turning on the stove but used a knife), got herself ready and then played games online and finished homework. she already knew from teh night before she would be alone and i left her a note. i was 10 mins away. 

 

 



IMO, she is certainly safer being left "alone" with a responsible adult than *actually* alone at home.  I really can't understand how you would leave her home alone for "long periods of time" and hesitate to let her take an adult led library class without you there.

 

post #31 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post



IMO, she is certainly safer being left "alone" with a responsible adult than *actually* alone at home.  I really can't understand how you would leave her home alone for "long periods of time" and hesitate to let her take an adult led library class without you there.

 


Agreed. My understanding is that she's been staying home alone for a couple years now, so, the fact that parents of other 9 yo's drop their kids off at library events or sports practices shouldn't be shocking at all. At least they aren't left to fend for themselves.
post #32 of 109

Of course I would.  I started leaving my daughter at the 3 to 6 year old story time when she was about 4.  The library just asks that parents stay in the library.   I don't see the problem here.  

post #33 of 109

My 9 yr. old was walking to the library, checking out books, and walking back by himself at 7.

post #34 of 109

I would have no problem leaving a 9-yo alone in a library for a structured classes/activity where someone is in charge.  Unless it was a super long class/activity, I would probably stay in another part of the library simply because I *like* spending time in the library and because all the libraries are at least a 15 minute drive away, so I would rather stay there and read or work on my computer, etc than do extra driving. If I had nearby errands to do, I might drop off for that.   I would not leave a 9-yo alone at the library if there wasn't a structured class or activity.  We don't live within walking/biking distance of any libraries, so I hadn't really thought about a child biking/walking by herself.  When we do go to the library, I do leave my 9-yo alone in the children's section for maybe 15 minutes while I browse the adult section for books for myself.

 

Around here, I would say that a lot of parents do end up staying/watching classes or activities, even for older kids, but I think that is mostly because I live in an area where things tend to be pretty spread out, so it doesn't always make a lot of sense to drop kids off.  If it takes 15-20 minutes to drive someplace and the class is an hour, it's usually easier to just stay nearby, plus with so many people having smartphones, you can get a lot done (checking email, etc.) while waiting someplace. 

 

Generally I prefer to just wait around outside or nearby, (unless it is a long class (ie. 2 hours) or super closeby home.  Otherwise, I just end up running to a nearby store to "kill time" and usually end up spending money I shouldn't be spending. :bag

post #35 of 109

I guess it would depend on the situation and the child for me to say yes.

I probably wouldn't completely leave the library if I had a 9 year old child there. I would likely be fine leaving him or her to go to another part of the library building though.

post #36 of 109
Thread Starter 

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post



IMO, she is certainly safer being left "alone" with a responsible adult than *actually* alone at home.  I really can't understand how you would leave her home alone for "long periods of time" and hesitate to let her take an adult led library class without you there.

nope. i am shocked that the library will allow a 9 year old to be in the library alone. i personally have no problems with that. dd will do fine. she can even walk over there by herself. 

 

i am shocked that a library will allow a 9 year old there without the parent in the building. even for a class. 
 

 

post #37 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post

nope. i am shocked that the library will allow a 9 year old to be in the library alone. i personally have no problems with that. dd will do fine. she can even walk over there by herself. 

 

i am shocked that a library will allow a 9 year old there without the parent in the building. even for a class. 
 

 


I still can't see how you think the library *with an adult specifically responsible for her* is less safe than a 9 year old being left home alone.  If a child can be responsible 100% for themselves (home alone) why would they not be able to be alone in a place with adults there that could help them?  I really don't see how you can be shocked at the idea of leaving a 9 year old with an adult for a class but leave the same child (or younger) without an adult responsible for themselves for twice as long.
 

 

post #38 of 109

And I want to make clear: I think a lot of this "leaving home alone/on their own in public" is a very individual thing based on both the family AND the child in question.  I'm just commenting on the inconsistency I see in this (suprised that a 9 year old would be left in *a class* but perfectly willing to leave a 9 year old actually alone--- I would expect it to be opposite).  Now, maybe that is just my prejudice (I mean, my kids were in preschool at 4 and it didn't seem wierd to me to leave them "alone" but I sure wouldn't have left them *actually* alone!) but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.  Of course, if there was an adult leader present, I wouldn't even consider that leaving the child alone--- they're with an adult!

post #39 of 109

Not shocked at all.  I've never left my kids at anything.  Mostly because we're in a big city and I don't want to get stuck in traffic, so it's easier to stay.  However if a kid can take care of themselves at home for any period of time they certainly can be responsible in a library.  Most kids that want to go to the library and hang out know it's not a play ground.  While Librarians are not babysitters they're pretty good at reminding all patrons of the rules.

post #40 of 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2 View Post

 



TiredX2 - I don't think it is inconsistent.  

 

Being shocked that a library allows unattended 9 year olds is different than thinking your 9 year would be Ok going solo.

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