Ours was 3 when he came. We met him one time the day before in a kinship placement that was very short term. They helped with the transition by talking us up and providing all his things neatly wrapped up in a box. DHHS talks about these transitions in trainings, .We all came together since our older child was eager to meet him and he'd been with children before without any complaints/negative history. That also helped with the car ride since there's an immediate bond between kids - a kid culture of sorts- sometimes. He was not resistant, just a passive shell with minimum questions, and a bit of excitement.
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At the house, we showed him his room first, knowing that having his own room would be a new concept and that he may want to make use of it. We put out age and interest appropriate toys throughout the house and let him wander. We talked to him about communication and expectations (meal times, food preferences, pet intros, etc.).
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He did not hurt us until many months later once the honeymoon period had run out and he felt safe to push boundaries/express his real self. One important thing we did for the first year was document EVERYTHING. This was to cover any possibilities of accusation of poor care. When an accident did happen that meant a late trip to the ER, we felt pretty good given that we had good communication with DHHS up until that time. They saw the whole situation for what it was, a simple childhood accident common to many kids. They also supported all the measures we took to decrease harm to our family. Really, his behavior was that of a child one year younger, so the physical "violence" was not too surprising and is now nearly disappeared.
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Best of luck!
