Having some irrational fears about my future relationship with my unborn son.

[OtherSoul]

I'm ashamed to admit all this, but I need reassurance.  I'm 35 weeks pregnant.  And I feel stuck on some thoughts.  The other day someone who is into chinese astrology told me I'm having a water dragon.  I got excited then he told me I was a water dog and dogs and dragons DO NOT get along, they are mortal enemies. 

This really really bothered me.  I hate the thought of it.  Someone else into astrology (I hang out with a bunch of hippies) told me that since I'm an Aquarius and my baby will be a Pisces, that we will have trouble understanding each other. 

So I know this sounds all kind of stupid, but...I'm really sort of worried and disturbed now.  :-(   I really want to have a positive relationship with my son.

What do you guys all think?  Pretty irrational I know...

[tropicana]

i would consider that maybe if those statements are true (in general), it doesn't necessarily mean that they will apply specifically to you and your son.

and i would focus on making sure that you get off to a great start in your relationship with your son. as in, do everything you can to make sure you are poised for the *opposite* outcome as was "predicted."

[LynnS6]

OK, take this for what it's worth because I don't believe in astrology. But, I'm pretty sure that the things people are telling you concern a mate, not a parent-child relationship. Your relationship with your child is a completely different kind of love.

Unfortunately, in English, we only have one word "love" to describe this. In Greek, on the other hand, there are 3- 4 words that translate as "love": philia, which means affection/friendship kind of love; eros, which means passionate, sensual love; and agape which means "unconditional love". The astrology stuff looks mostly at eros. Parental love is much more akin to agape.

My husband is a Libra. Our kids are both Taurus. If you look this one up, they're not very compatible either. My husband and our kids have a wonderful relationship. He's an amazing dad.  He stayed home with them when they were little. They miss him when he goes away. He actually has far fewer conflicts with the kids than I do, and the pisces and taurus are supposed to get along.

(And if it helps, one of my good friends is an Aquarius and I'm a Pisces. We do well together and understand each other quite well. Well enough that we are planning on traveling together, and that takes real guts in a friendship.)

[meemee]

yeah pretty irrational. i know. and understand. that's what you get for being 35 weeks preggo and probably it sounds like with your first child. 

i am into all that AND into science. 

and i believe the stars destine us to what is our potential, but what we MAKE of it is totally on us. 

if you want it you will have it. as simple as that. 

it requires some understanding. your son is also a human being with wants and desires. you respect his needs and desires. 

the first time you hold him in your arms - all these thoughts should disappear.

and if they dont, then mama you need to look at the root of the problem and see why this is causing so much anxiety.

i really liked how lynn described love. 

before my dd was born i read a lot. after she was born i focussed on age appropriate behaviour. knowledge is the magic key. makes you a better parent. there was sooo much i was unaware of. 

[jess in hawaii]

I am a believer in astrology. I have had the good fortune to have my chart done by an EXCELLENT astrologer, who also did comparison charts of all my major relationships (kids, parents, lovers, friends). The information was mind blowing. That being said, the truth is that astrology is really a study of pontentials, the path of least resistance, a referential framework of one's life. There are no absolutes, no certainties to be gleaned even by the best astrologers. I suggest you read up on the subject. Choose a few different authors with different flavors. After you get a feel for it, if you are still interested, talk to a few astrologers. Ideally, find someone in your community who has done charts for a lot of people you know and see if the feedback they gave matches what you know about the people (don't just get recommendations). If you can find someone you feel is right on, a thorough reading can be very enlightening, even life changing. But only if it feels right and resonates with your inner truth. All this goes for Western and Chinese, both.

PS I am a metal dog, one of my boys is a dragon and the new one will be too. ;)

[meemee]

i come from an 'astrology rich' country. i have had my charts done, palm read many, many times (its just the way of being by amateurs and respected experienced professionals) and all through my teens and young adult i was told to be careful, watch my health as i may not live long. ANY ONE who saw my charts or palm said beware - you are meant to die young as a teenager. my astro chart said child, broken marriage, dead brother and death. well yeah except for the death part all came true.

however i would never accept i would die. never. i came v. v. v. close to it in my 30s and the doctors had given up. no one could understand why i suddenly could get off the respirator. what caused me to go into respiratory distress - to date no one knows. 

it may sound wierd but i feel i made my own destiny. if i had believed and accepted the reports and sayings i probably would not have fought but given in to the inevitable. who knows i may be dead. 

[Spring Lily]

You can't let someone else's belief define your relationship with your child who isn't even born yet. Just remember that.


And, that said, maybe this will help you:
My daughter and my Chinese signs don't get along, and you know what? We get along SO WELL. She's like a little version of me. Sure, sometimes we disagree, but we are very close. My twins are a Western sign that supposedly doesn't get along at all with mine, but we also have very close and loving relationships.

One way to look at astrology is that it is a way to predict or help guide yourself through uncertainty. It's not a prophesy of absoluteness. YOU are the one who decides what kind of relationship you have with your son. Don't let something like that get in the way. Let it go and focus instead on what a wonderfully loving mother you will be to your child.
Edited by Spring Lily - 2/8/12 at 12:55pm

[OtherSoul]

Thank you everyone!  I am feeling a lot better.  :-)   I love him so much and always will regardless of anything, I can't wait to experience life with him!

[Adaline'sMama]

My best friend in the world in an Aquarius and Im a Pisces - no problems understanding each other.

Im sure your relationship with your son will be awesome! Congrats and Happy Birthing!