I don't really even know where to begin talking about this. I am 44 and 7-8 weeks pregnant. This took my husband and I by surprise; we kind of feel like it was immaculate conception as we don't even remember having intercourse in the month of December!
I have a 14 year old daughter, and after five miscarriages and the help of an endocrinologist, a son who will turn 3 in March. Our son was our miracle baby. We had been trying for six years to have a second a child. Prometrium seems to be what held him. I am now seeing the same endocrinologist and taking Prometrium again.
My daughter was 9.5 pounds, posterior asynclitic, a home birth turned into a hospital birth turned into a Cesarean. My son was five weeks early, very healthy, and a natural VBAC. But it was a high risk pregnancy, closely managed in the first trimester, with a whole lot of spotting through my second trimester. I was terrified.
There are so many questions about this baby. Will the pregnancy hold (so far so good!)? Should I be concerned about the higher risk of genetic disorder? Will I successfully have another VBAC? Will s/he be early or go to term (my son was 6lbs at 5 weeks early; imagine how huge he would have been had I gone to 40+ weeks!)? Should I plan a homebirth, or stick with the same OB I had a VBAC with? And I'm 44 for goodness sake! How will our three year old handle this? And our 14 year old who is starting high school next year? How will I handle it? My husband?
It has really made me face my mortality like nothing else. I will be 63 when this child graduates from high school! While I feel blessed in so many ways, I also thought I was done having children. I was thrilled with two, with a boy and a girl, with a beautiful, talented 14 year old and a brilliant, super-high-energy two year old. Will I really have the energy to handle a newborn and a three year old? And will this affect my golden years? Will I leave this earth before meeting my grandchildren?
I know this probably all sounds so annoying, but they are the thoughts that have been going through my head. I cannot sleep tonight because I suddenly became so worried about what we would do with our little boy when I go into labor and possibly have to spend some days in the hospital! I guess my husband might not room in with me this time. . . Unless we have a homebirth. And while I am a huge supporter of homebirth, I have my own personal concerns based on my history.
So I am asking to hear from all sorts of people! Mom's that found themselves pregnant in their mid 40's! Mom's of a surprise #3. Mom's trying for a second VBAC. Mom's who had VBAC homebirths. Prometrium moms! So many things. Are there any good books about middle aged moms?
Please share your stories; I would love to hear them. I feel lonely, not ready to tell people yet, worried a little about the reactions.
And thanks for your patience with this huge post!