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Weekly chat Jan 30-Feb 6 - Page 4

post #61 of 80

Sorry I've been so quiet lately, I'm reading everything, but with everyone's life going nuts lately I feel like I don't have much to say.

 

Midwife appt. today. Pregnancy is boring, baby's anterior and has a big head. I'm not concerned, considering Evie was huge, I think I just grow them big. ::shrug::

post #62 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by NicMom View Post

bela and others - I can not recommend The Five Love Languages enough.  You guys really are speaking two different languages and it can be hard to get it across.  Maybe if he read it, it would clue him in.  I am like your husband - I communicate my love by acts of service.  I do stuff.  My husband speaks in words of affirmation.  He tells me how wonderful I am and how much he loves me.  Neither of us were speaking the other persons language so we were both upset and feeling unloved when we just weren't effective in our communication of our love for each other.

 



I was thinking of the same book.  It sounds like your (Bela) DH is trying really hard, he just doesn't get what kind of love you are looking for. Likewise, it sounds like you need to recognize that he is giving you the attention he knows how to give - hard when you are mixing that with all the hormonal stuff in pregnancy. The Five Love Languages is a great book for understanding and making sense of all that.

post #63 of 80

Hugs to everyone who's had a rough week.

 

Not much going on here.  DD and DH have a stomach bug today.  I'm 31 weeks and trudging along.  Wish I could make everyone else's pregnancies smoother!  Hopefully the struggles right now mean that we'll all have smooth births.  shy.gif

post #64 of 80
Thread Starter 

Nicmom and Jenny, that book is great. My whole family read it along with me and DH and it was fun to go around and talk about what blessed who and it gave some insight into why sometimes it was harder for some to feel as understood.  Luckily, DH and I are pretty much the same but I find that in the third trimester the quality time and acts of service shoots way high up on my list, normally I am physical touch and words of affirmation. DH and I are doing better. We have had a few talks and it has helped me sort through my feelings about...life and everything lol.

 

I got my fabric to start the quilt for DD today and I am beside myself excited!  It is beautiful and I am also overwhelmed, hopefully I can get it done before she comes bc there will not be much opportunity afterward!  DS has a cough but is in such a good mood it is hard to remember he is sick. poor guy.  Plus, I found a bouncey seat, four kissaluvs fitteds, and a snuggle nest on a parent resale/swap group I am a part of for cheap, wohoo! yay for starting to cross things off the list!

post #65 of 80
Haven't been on to post much. I've been unusually busy! Sorry to hear about the rude comments people were getting a while back! greensad.gif Some people are so insensitive!

I've been taking my drivers training. Done the class work, now just 2 more in car lessons, then I'm done. A bit more practice then I'll take the test smile.gif Yay!

Ive been eyeing this crib bedding set on the crate and barrel kids website, but it's $200 for the set (which I would NEVER pay), and yesterday I was at winners, and found the EXACT set on clearance for $40! This kind of thing me never happens to me, so I was almost dancing a happy jig! I also picked up a "baby's first outfit". Kind of like a coming home outfit, but since we're having a home birth, it'll just be his first clothes smile.gif

1711eb7d-b08b-7fb5.jpg

The thing on the right is a reversible bib, but looks like a little neck hanky.

Things are starting to come together with the baby room. Got the dresser/change table at Ikea yesterday. DH helped me rearrange the furniture (it's going to be a guest room/baby room). I washed the walls and hung some wooden embroidery hoops with cute fabric inside them on the wall. I'll post pics later.

Feeling great so far (29 weeks) lots of movement, and since I've been seeing the chiro 2 times a week almost all my hip and pubic pain is gone. I'll try and get on here more often!
post #66 of 80

flavorful (and bella)-- I hope you can find some solid relationship footing soon.  flavorful, the stress from your relationship might alone be enough to cause an increase in BH's.  So it's worth tending to.  Maybe you  just need to ask for a good cry, and tell him all he has to do is sit with you, offer kleenex, and give you hugs... and maybe make you a cup of tea afterwards.  A good cry, especially with support, can be so cleansing-- both for your body/hormones, and also for the emotional obstacles between you and your partner.  It's quite possible that you are starting to feel really nervous about labor (like me!) and you wish you could share those nerves with someone?  He probably has his own sense of being nervous.  At our birth class last week, a sudden discussion broke out amongst the fathers in the room about how they have each had the thought that their partner may die in childbirth.  And then they toned it down and talked about how they feel that impending labor makes them feel the need to work more, to provide.  He probably is nervous too-- just not in the way you are.

 

In other news, I love my Ergo, too.  We also have a Patapum toddler carrier (which is a bit silly, since my kids are "travel sized," with neither of them weighing more than 32 pounds yet.)  My cat also really likes the Ergo.  I should post a picture.

 

I have henna in my hair right now.  :)  Yay for new red!

post #67 of 80

umm, daylicious, I already have an addiction to pottery barn kids, so i really did NOT need to know that there's a crate and barrel kids!!! (guess we know where i'll be dream shopping tonight...)

 

our little one's room is coming along too, finally.  but, it doesn't feel like a nursery, and i wish it did.  there's one accessory i would love to have to really finish it off, but it's wall decals from pb kids, and they're 169!!! i just can't bring myself to spend the money!

 

in other happy news...i finally got my fuzzi bunz remidied and ready for either use or sale! I couldn't believe the suggestion form fuzzi bunz customer service actually helped, as i felt i had tried everything!  the only thing she suggested that i hadn't tried was something called RLR, and sure enough, one treatment with 3 extra rinses, and they're as absorbent as ever! YAAAYYY!! i was really upset with them since i had only used them for 6 months and i have 30 one size diapers, which was quite the investment!!

 

hope you all have a wonderful relaxing sunday!!

post #68 of 80
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aletheia View Post

flavorful (and bella)-- I hope you can find some solid relationship footing soon.  flavorful, the stress from your relationship might alone be enough to cause an increase in BH's.  So it's worth tending to.  Maybe you  just need to ask for a good cry, and tell him all he has to do is sit with you, offer kleenex, and give you hugs... and maybe make you a cup of tea afterwards.  A good cry, especially with support, can be so cleansing-- both for your body/hormones, and also for the emotional obstacles between you and your partner.  It's quite possible that you are starting to feel really nervous about labor (like me!) and you wish you could share those nerves with someone?  



Funny, twice in the past two days, DH has really just sat down and listen to me cry about whatever and offer his own feelings when I have asked. I feel a lot better and we are definitely more on the same page now. Oh, and instead of the cup of tea afterwards...I opted for some icecream lol, I highly recommend it!  It really helped to have him slow down and insist that we just stop and talk. 

post #69 of 80

Alethia, I'm planning to do my hair the last week of the month....already bought the henna!

 

Flavorful....glad it helped! And ice cream is ALWAYS good to cure what ails you!!!

 

Does anyone here do any SAHM business sewing? There are a few things I've been hoping to get for baby, and if anyone here has an etsy store or anything I'd rather shop there.

post #70 of 80

so I might be doulaing a birth tonight. I am super excited. Just waiting for the call she's been having inconsistent contractions that are getting more painful and lots of bloody show.

 

meanwhile Hubs is putting the plywood up for the walls in my future bathroom, the old door is no more and my 3 year old thinks it's the height of awesomness to use the other doors we never use to get in and out.

 

Dayle- cute first outfit!

 

Aletheia, can we see pictures when your hair is done?

 

flavofull- glad things are getting worked out between you two.

 

zuzu- I sew some stuff but I am not a fantastic seamstress.

 

post #71 of 80

Thanks for the book suggestion. I will definitely look it up. However, that is going to have to wait a bit since DH's grandma died today. He's taking the week off of work and we have family stuff the entire week. So far everyone is dealing with it well since it was expected. I probably won't be on too much this week so I hope it's a better week for everyone than this last one seemed to be. 

post #72 of 80

The night sweats have already started and I am NOT happy about it. Last time around I got some seriously gross night sweats in the first two weeks postpartum, like where I had to shower at 2 am and sleep on towels. It was pretty awful. And now I'm twitching and itchy and just ugh every night and having a hard time sleeping.

 

Shouldn't this have waited until the baby actually made an exit?

post #73 of 80

bela, sorry about your loss.  even when it's expected, it's difficult.  I'll be thinking of you.

 

courtney, YAY for progress!

 

day, great first outfit!!

 

AFM...I've been leaning toward the name William, but I now have 2 friends (one with William, one with Liam) and a cousin who just had her baby last week, and his name...William, so I'm beginning to see a trend I don't like.  I want a great name, but not the same name everyone else has.  so i'm beginning to think we should cross this one off the list, which leaves: Collin Patrick and Graham Patrick.  I'm kinda leaning toward Graham, but we'll see. it's not dh's favorite.  he's anxious to have a name, and I told him i wouldn't commit till baby was born, so he'd just have to wait.  Then he had the audacity to tell me that waiting 8 weeks is too long and he can't do it.  I (not so subtly) reminded him that I've been waiting for 10 MONTHS for an answer about this new job, and am no closer to getting one than I was 10 months ago, so he was going to have to suck it up and wait, and if he mentioned it again, I may not even tell him our son's name after the birth!!!! 

 

happy monday ladies ;) 

post #74 of 80

Last night we got home and put the kids to bed after a nice dinner at my parents, and then DH and I actually sat down and talked about labour and after birth and stuff like that. It's not that we haven't been talking about it all along, but we actual sat down last night and made plans.  He figures there is only 6 weeks until I'm 36 weeks, which is when he likes to be all ready, so he wanted to know what we needed to do.  I told him that I seriously won't be calling the MWs until I'm ready to push.  At first he was weary of that idea, but after I told him why I felt that way, he was okay with it.  We talked about names a bit - something we've not worried about yet.  We are still miles away from a boy name, but pretty solid on a girls first name, at least.  I told him that we wouldn't be cutting the cord until I felt ready, even if that were a few hours, and that I wanted to ignore labour as long as I could, and I expected him to do the same. It was nice to have a real, sit down, talk about all the stuff.  There's still some things we need to do, but we are getting there. Crazy how fast it's coming up.

post #75 of 80
Chiro—could you paint instead of those decals? I can’t believe they’re so expensive! And I like Graham, too. So there.

Daylicious—yay for a good find! That never happens to me, either.

Bela—I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you all find yourselves at a better place after the mourning period—sometimes that can really help put everything into perspective.

Things with me have been about the same. Small scare with the swollen feet on Friday, but my blood pressure was normal and they went back down again. I’ve been drinking like a camel, though, which is hard for me. Minor complaints, all in all, I have to say. I also managed to get a baby quilt for my friend’s upcoming daughter made this weekend. I have one more for a cousin who is a month behind me. I know that I could get away without making quilts for either of them, but it’s been a tradition for me and I’d feel guilty, so I thought I’d better do it now because there is NO way I’ll be doing it once I’ve got my own kid to worry about.
post #76 of 80

The church lady did say, "That was a compliment," when I said to her, "Gee, like I'm not already self-concious about my size!"  She insisted it was a compliment, laughed about it, and walked away.  So yeah.  People are wierd.  DH didn't get why it bothered me so much, apparently he took it as she intended it, which I guess meant that I am getting bigger b/c I'm pregnant, which is a good thing.  Then we had the whole, "Yeah, well you don't understand what this is like..." conversation, and I think he gets my point of view.  She did not come up to me at all this past Sunday other than to shake my hand and say good morning.

 

I'm trying not to worry so much about my weight, but it's really hard.  My MW isn't worried about the #'s, she was just concerned b/c I gained so much so fast between appointments.

 

I just realized I have about 10.5 - 11 weeks left, and I panicked a little bit.  YIKES!

 

Thursday:  Yay for remodeling getting underway!!  Can't wait to see more pics.

 

Bela:  I'm so sorry.  It is so hard to lose someone, expected or not.  Hugs to you and your DH.

 

Jenny:  Yay for making plans!  We still have so much left to do.

post #77 of 80

Bela, I'm sorry for your loss.

 

prettyisa, I've got to show you this pic of my feet last pregnancy.  I was about 35 weeks and OMG where they huge (compared to what they normally look like, which is skinnier than I am overall):

feet 35 weeks

You can see the gallons of water in the back, and I had my feet up on my desk, but they were bad almost every day when I was working.  Fingers crossed that it doesn't happen again!

 

jennyvangy, that conversation with your DH is why I'm a list maker.  I just feel better having everything written down, and he doesn't mind.  Especially for the little stuff, like "turn up water heater at 36 weeks," "make sure I take off my jewelry before we go to the hospital" and "find out who's on call when you call the hospital to tell them we're coming."  I think its neat that your DH wanted to get ready mentally. 

 

daylicious and chiro, have you seen The Land of Nod catalog? You can order one off their website.  It is like porn for me.

 

Courtney, so excited for your doula-ing!  Let us know how it goes.

 

Zuzu, I stay hot at night too. I sleep nearly naked on top of the blanket while DH sleeps under a comforter with sweats on. 

 

AFM, DD has had a stomach bug and puked in my car 4 times today.  And the only reason we went anywhere at all is because DH forgot his lunch and BP meds.  Grr.  He's going to have to strip the cover off the car seat as his punishment!

post #78 of 80

justkate--totally uncalled for! I've been drooling at  the website since i found out about, and now you're telling me there's this beautiful glossy catalog that i could hold and smell and SPEND way too much!!! wrong, just wrong (wink, wink)

 

prettyisa---in theory i could paint the animals on the wall, however i'm afraid that requires more talent and know how than i posses, so i'll likely either break down and purchase them, or just do with out. right now, i'm saying, do without, cuz he'll never know if they were there, so hopefully the will power holds out!

 

to all who mentioned being hot at night...i'm right there with ya.  dh sleeps in flannel pjs now with an extra blanket over the comforter.  i'm under a sheet, with barely a tshirt on.  comical, yes, but dh is starting to get cranky about it...

 

here's to making it to 33 weeks with no surprises and/or unexpected trips to L&D, and I wish you all the same!!!

post #79 of 80

Bela- you and your family are in my thoughts, So sorry.

 

OMG my body hurts after the birth, it was awesome by the way the mom and dad were so damn cute together, the big sister did amazing. I mostly knew what to do, once she got pushy I had my moments of sitting there wondering what should I really be doing right now to help? Luckily I don't think anyone besides me realized. maybe the midwife, but it was the awesome one I met at my last appt and I just followed her lead then. My main problem is knowing what to say in later labor. I have never been one for soothing talk or even bedroom talk, I am more about actions so i need to work on talking them through those harder contractions.  I totally cried when he was born, then a few more times as I watched the family interact. I was a bit dizzy afterwords and neeeded to eat right away and my hips were all loose and funny from all the squatting I did and now my back is aching.  I know I want to be involved in birth but gosh I hope it doesn't always leave me feeling so crappy. My first birth I attended (not as a doula in training) I don't remember being so sore afterwords, although  that one I was just EXHAUSTED as I had been up for 2 nights, so i think it's just related to the pregnancy. Oh and before I left for the birth I told Juniper what I was doing (it her best friends mom. Juniper is my 3 (in 2 days) year old) and she looked at me so seriously and said "Don't let my sister out, otay.". She was very happy when I got back and I was still "growing her sister.

 

 

post #80 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam View Post

The night sweats have already started and I am NOT happy about it. Last time around I got some seriously gross night sweats in the first two weeks postpartum, like where I had to shower at 2 am and sleep on towels. It was pretty awful. And now I'm twitching and itchy and just ugh every night and having a hard time sleeping.

 

Shouldn't this have waited until the baby actually made an exit?


That's really crappy, sfmb.  But I'm sort of right there with you-- not with sweats, but with sleep.

 

I think I've mentioned that lack of sleep is my biggest worry about after baby gets here.  I am so loving my life right now-- I feel so on top of it, and I wake up with so much energy.  I'm running regularly, and getting a lot done in short amounts of time.  I belong to lots of community groups, and am so happy!  This is after four years of NOT being happy or energetic... and not getting enough sleep (both of our boys did not sleep through until they were 2, and they are 2 years apart.)    So I can really appreciate the difference.

 

When we got unexpectedly pregnant this time around, we were researching fostering and adoption to see if we could add a child to our family, instead of a baby-- I'm that anxious about the first couple of years and sleep.

 

Well, fast-forward to this last week.  My sleep this trimester has been getting worse each night- first, the insomnia, and now, the general quality.  I am going to bed between 8 and 9, waking up at 7, and I feel absolutely exhausted.  It's not the anemia; I've got that in check finally.  I am just conscious all night of not being in deep sleep.

 

DH had to work late last night, so I couldn't lay down around dinner, and by the time he got home at 9 I was sobbing and just a wreck.  I'm so exhausted ALREADY and I have a huge long list of "before baby comes" stuff to do.  I feel like I'm already functioning on the limited sleep of those early newborn days.  It sucks.  I thought I had 10 more weeks.  

 

I'm trying to just let go of the "extra" things on my list/plate.  But I don't want to.  I miss energetic me, and I don't like how I'm mothering my boys right now.  :(  

 

 

 

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