I don't know what to do so I figured I'd ask a bunch of other moms. :) My SIL, married to my brother, lives 20 minutes away and has just sort of...dropped out of my life over the past six months. The last time I saw her and my nephews was last August. SIL and I didn't have a fight, and as far as I know I did nothing to offend her. She stopped calling as frequently, then started texting instead of calling, then just fell off the radar. I felt like I was being slowly dumped, after a 10 year relationship in which we were pretty close. At first, I figured she was just busy with back to school stuff and she doesn't work but she volunteers a ton with her kids' schools so I assumed she was busy.
The holidays came and went in December with no word from SIL. I had texted her asking what the boys wanted for Xmas and trying to make plans for a family get-together. Nothing. I never saw them and never got a phone call. I wondered if things were okay, were they having problems, why I wasn't hearing a darn thing from my family.
A couple of weeks ago, my SIL posted pictures of my younger nephew's birthday dinner on Facebook. I felt really hurt that clearly their lives seem to be going fine but I'm just being ignored. So hurt that I unfriended her and my brother because I couldn't bear to see their family photos and wonder why I and my two daughters have been dropped from their lives, without explanation.
A few days ago, SIL sent me a friend request on Facebook and this morning I logged in to accept it, only to find that she deleted it.
My SIL can be self-centered in some ways, like cancelling plans with me at the last minute because she's decided to get her hair done, or getting annoyed when I don't want to babysit her sons because she's going out for dinner and put off getting a babysitter til the last minute. She also has a tendency to borrow things from me (a new cookbook, my luggage) and not return them, ever. When I've asked for things back, she acts as if I'm being a jerk. So I've accepted that SIL isn't the most reliable or sensitive person sometimes, and take her as she is.
I feel like she should make the first step toward contacting me (which she did with the friend request, but then she deleted it). I'd like to see my family, but after being ignored for six months, I don't really feel like calling her and leaving yet another message when she doesn't call back. Advice?