I feel so sad and upset about this.....

[ladyleah]

Wow- I can't believe what a mess I am right now.

My little guy (now almost 26 months old) had been nusing twice a day for a while, sometimes three times for nap.

I needed to cut out the morning nursing session about a week ago, for a lot of reasons I can't get into right now, and my LO took it quite well-- although I felt terribly guilty. He continued to ask to nurse before naps and at night though, and of course I happily nursed him.

Today I wasn't home for his nap- but at night he didn't ask to nurse. I was stunned! I didn't offer, because I didn't want to push him-- and because he always asks me. And he was snuggling up like he always does at night AFTER nursing....so I guess he just wanted to skip it. 

This is the very first day I have gone without nursing him, and I have to admit that I am an emotional wreck!

I always wanted him to self wean- but now that its probably here I feel so emotional. I hope that my dropping a session didn't create something premature. I feel so guilty. But I don't want try to restart the morning, because I really can't- and I don't want to confuse him now.

And, maybe he will ask tomorrow-- which I will nurse him. But the emotions that this is REALLY ending are hitting hard!

Any words of wisdom for me, Mammas? :)

[boomer78]

Oh, I'm sorry mama. I think I know how you feel. I too want my dd (also almost 26 m) to self wean and at the bottom of my heart I know how devastated I'll be... I don't know if cutting out that one morning session may have had a part in it but it seems like the decision to do so has been important for you. Maybe he is just ready now or maybe he will nurse just fine tomorrow. I don't have the answer you're looking for but wanted to send you hugs 'cause I feel you frustration.

[ladyleah]

Thank you so much Boomer Mamma....I should have asked for comfort and support for my greiving guilty heart on this one instead of wisdom, I think (although you gave all of that- thank you!).  I too wanted him to wean on his own around this time, and yet now that it might be hear I clearly am conflicted about it!

Its just really tough. I am the last one of my friends with a LO to continue to nurse and none of them made it to 26 months for various reasons.  And yet, instead of feeling proud of what I accomplished (if you read my posts from 2 years ago you can get a sense of the massive issues i had in the begining of BF) and what I did for my son I am feeling guilty. I know some of this is normal, and some is just my neuroses ;) I just love my little guy so much my heart feels like it might explode, so I wanted to try and do the right thing. :)

I just need to take a step back and thank the Universe for giving me this endless learning opportunity: AKA: motherhood!!!!!! :)

[AKislandgirl]

My dd will be 3 tomorrow. She still nurses twice a day. I have gently nudged her in that direction. She has skipped nursing for a day here or there and then come back to it. I wouldn't be surprised if he asks again tomorrow. This is sort of how I envisioned weaning to go for us. Skip a few, come back, skip again until one day she is just done. Sometimes I do feel like weaning her now but so far this system is ok. I too will be sad when we have our last day!

[ladyleah]

You were so right Mammas......tonight he asked to nurse just like he always has. 

I guess this was the universe giving me a warning to enjoy every moment, because it will probably soon end. I thought i was more then ready to be done, but clearly I have more feelings around it then I thought!

Even if he decides to quit tomorrow I am so thankful to have one more nursing session with him!!!

Thanks again for the support......