Queer Conceptions February 2012 - Page 8

[happycalm]

Hi, Everyone.

I apologize for being so lame with my participation on this forum.  We got a BFN this month and were pretty bummed this last week.  From 9-12 DPO I had been getting more and more signs of pregnancy, even to the point that my breasts were seriously bigger than normal (way more than typical pms and noticable to my DP).  But we never got A BFP.  I'm chalking this up to another chemical pregnancy even though I didn't produce enough hcg to get a positive test.  I'm 100% sure things were getting going but just didn't stick.

Anyway, I just wanted to check back in.  Work is really busy and I'm having trouble finding time for personals.  I wish everyone much luck.

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by Hopeful22 

AFM- I have lost 90% of my patience and logic over the last 24 hours. I can see why this time is (very appropriatly) named the Two Week Wait of TORTURE!!! Both DW and I are fairly convinced that I am pregnant and any attempts by my brain to be rational and not get my hopes up are not working. I keep trying to convince myself that I wont even be able to have any real symptoms until after 10 DPO... I dont even know if thats true?! Does anyone know if you can have real pregnancy symptoms prior to implantation?

I hope you're right! I've never had symptoms before implantation and I'm not sure how it would be possible. But, I've learned, that a lot of "impossible" things happen while ttc ;)

Allison: Congrats on the new place! You now own a part of the most expensive city in the world ;) I think a short surge shouldn't be a problem using fresh. Fingers crossed for you!
 

Cananny: I'm so glad you're going to acupuncture! Are you loving it?! And good to hear the scan was good.

lisedea: Sorry, I guess I was caught up in my own misery. Your surgery went well and you are in the 2ww again...I'm assuming that means all is well with you? Hooray :)
 

rs: I don't know if the system is much different in Canada. Our midwives are covered by our national medical coverage so I would imagine that helps a bit because maybe more women will choose them over an OB. However, I know the midwives are also under guidelines that suggest induction if 2 weeks late. A few days late and inducing seems ludicrous to me. What are the consequences if she had said 'no, thanks'? I also think it depends on the care provider (even amongst midwives). I had very hands off midwives but I was also went into labour spontaneously 4 days early. Have you seen "The Business of Being Born?" Very well made film.

happcalm: I'm sorry about the bfn.

Afm: Nothing happening. I'm supposed to be 9 weeks on Wednesday and that's when my u/s is. My pregnancy symptoms have lessened a lot but still no spotting or anything. I am looking forward to the u/s - even though I know it will likely tell me the baby's heart has stopped. As long as I know that, I can get my acupuncturist to help move things along. Still not sure if we'll try again. DP and I had a huge fight this morning and I'm not feelin' the love in our family at the moment to want to bring another child into the mix. I did get the sweetest email from our KD. He is ready and willing to try for as long as we want and asked (again) if there is anything he can do on his side to help out.

[nosreves]

allison  -- congrats on the condo!  are you going to be moving soon?  how’s the TWW going for your DP and you?  what day are ya’ll at now?

invitn – i had no idea that you were an exchange student here.  i was one in a tiny village in Germany, and that’s how I really caught the travel bug (and how I fell in love with this part of the world.)  strangely enough, we just had a young American friend here this weekend who is a teaching assistant right near caen (saint-lô).   how was your experience?  parles-tu toujours français?    as for the second hcg, apparently it has a similar effect to taking progesterone in the tww…. at least that’s what the doc told me.  it also means I can’t POAS anytime soon…    what’s going on with you, though??  last I saw you were about 13dpo.  have you tested again? 

anna – yooohoooooo….what happened to our forum extrovert??  you’ve been uncharacteristically silent these last few days.  what’s going on in your world?  the fertilla guerilla shirt idea is brilliant!  i think that once we get a BFP (or two!) we’ll have to have onesies made that say something like “my mommies are fertilla guerillas”.  of course, like most of my bright ideas, it will probably just stay in my head, but it’s still fun to imagine.  what day is your DP at now and what kinds of juicy symptoms is she having???  come back and bring some of that chatty-cathy sunshine of yours!

hopeful – thanks for checking in on me, and sorry it’s taken me so long to respond. I’ve been too busy too sit down and write out personals until now.  and I’m totally with you on the TWW(T) being a mindfrak.  i also think that it’s unlikely to have symptoms before implantation, but having a good feeling about things is a good thing in and of itself.  i hope this is your month!

sancta – welcome!

outdoorsy – i didn’t know they still made waterbeds either.  my grandmother had one for most of my life, and one of my worst memories is having to sleep on it when the heater was broken.  it’s a special kind of hell.  are you feeling better now?  still waiting for that positive OPK?

Mrs² -- how are you doing on the clomid?  this should be about your last day, right?  did you get put on estrace, too?  i always had lining issues with clomid, so i decided to take estrace this cycle (gyn wouldn’t prescribe it, but i used false pretenses to get it from my GP…and it worked!)  are you doing a follie scan and then a trigger?  fingers crossed that it all lines up for you this month and that you don’t have any nasty “cloments”.

amt – hey, girl, how you and your partner doing?  are you starting up TTC next cycle?

rs11—i wish they could tell us more about our donor, too, but i think after all our struggles, we’re just happy to have access to affordable sperm and inseminations.  and holy frak…. your medical costs are outrageous!  DP's mouth fell open and she asked me how it was possible for a doctor’s appointment to cost $550 or even $350.  i had no response.  here, if you don’t have the social security, you pay between 26euros  and 60euros (for acupuncture).  the u/s cost 50something at a private place.  that all gets reimbursed if you have soc. sec. (well, only about a third of the acupuncture does).  it sounds like your RE is a lovely person to help you figure out ways around the messed up system. 

i also think that birth is waaay too medicalized in the states, and that they are far too willing to induce or go for c-sections instead of letting nature take her course.  from what I’ve heard, though, france isn’t any better.  here they apparently love to give epidurals, and you really have to insist to avoid it.  midwives deliver almost all babies here, but i don’t think there are too many birthing center-like places.  good luck with the RE’s appointment tomorrow, btw!

midwifesteph and southernbelle  – how are ya’ll feeling these days?

esenbee – sooo…what happened??  last I heard you were waiting till 14dpo to test again.  update us!

cananny – here’s hoping for at least a couple of big, juicy, triggerable follies and a successful insem to follow.  sending you good vibes for tomorrow’s scan

lise – yay!  i’m so happy to hear you got your positive OPK and got off the island for your insem.  I looked at your FF chart, and damn if you didn’t nail that mofo.  i would *love* to be able to move you to graduates in a couple of weeks.  fingers crossed big time!

happycalm – no need to apologize.  getting a BFN when you’re sure it worked out is hard to take.  it’s happened to me and DP both… swollen, super painful boobies, fatigue, etc. and then those negative tests followed by AF.  i’m so sorry you had your hopes dashed this cycle.  don’t give up, though!  i know you didn’t asked to be moved, but i put you in Waiting to O, anyway.  let me know if you prefer to be somewhere else.  *hugs* and hang in there.

carmen – i’ve been thinking a lot about you this last week.  i’m amazed at and inspired by how much strength you show here on the forum.  i left you in the graduates section because i wasn’t sure where you wanted to be, but please tell me if you’d like to be moved.  i’m so sorry that you have to go through all of this, and i imagine that the emotional stress could make things tense in your household.  from everything else you’ve posted and from your blog, it’s been clear to me that you and DP and your DD are a very loving, connected family, one that other children would be very lucky to be born into.  i’ll be thinking of you on Wednesday. 

afm….DP got her peak today on the CBFM, so it looks like we’re heading back to Belgium again tomorrow.  that means leaving at 5:30am to avoid paris traffic, and I am so not a morning person.  it also means that I have come up with a good illness to take to the GP so I can get a medical certificate.  so far we’re going back and forth between a migraine and another kidney stone attack.  anyone have other good ideas? i hate lying, but since we can’t see a doc who’s in the same bloody country as us, there’s no other choice.  it’s DP’s first time, and I just can’t see letting her drive there and get insperminated by herself.  I’m at 8dpo, and I gave myself the final hcg shot yesterday morning.  my boobs are feeling weird and I’ve had a lot of nausea/heartburn, but I’m 100% positive that’s related to the shot and my own messed up stomach.  I wasn’t expecting to be able to insem at all this month, so i’m feeling happy rather than stressed in this TWW.  

I hope everyone has a great week! 

[smilingsara]

nos, I'm so happy things are finally working out in your's and dp's favor! I've got so many things crossed for you my dear! I'm loving reading along and can't wait to get all teary-eyed when you post a picture of your positive pregnancy test!! I can't wait for 14dpo. 

[AnnaNotherThing]

carmen- I really empathise.

Knowing one way or the other would help a lot, I imagine. Being able to move on, move forward in whatever direction has got to be better than being in limbo...

I hope you and your partner find the love again. Fighting is never fun.

We had a rough weekend like that last week, and it's horrible. We rarely argue and hardly ever have actual fights, so when we do it just feels awful. We usually make up pretty quickly, but after last weekend I felt a bit emotionally bruised for a few days...  Blachgh.

Your KD sounds very sweet.

I wanted to ask you- is your KD partnered? Have you set any rules around his sexual intercourse/ safe sex etc?

Allison- congratulations on getting the condo! 

nosrever- I'm still here! just had a busy few days.

haven't tested yet. DW's period is probably going to come on tonight or tomorrow I guess. 

She's had no symptoms, so we're not expecting much...

We had a lovely weekend though!

[invitnconceptn]

Steph:: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :  : :  : :  : :  :  : :  : :  : :  : :  :  : :  : :  : :  : :  :  :  : :  : :  :  : :  :  :  : :  :  : :  : :  :  :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  :  :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  :  :  : :  :  : :  :  :  :  :  :  :  : :  : :  :  : :  :  :  :  : :  : :  : :  : :  : : :  : :  : :  : :  : :  : :  : :  : :  :  : :  : :  : :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  : :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  : :  :  : :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  :  : :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  : :  :  :  :  :  : :  :  : :  :  :  :  :  : :  : : : : :

sorry this was way overdue from several days ago. I hope you and DW are having fun witht the great news.

[invitnconceptn]

So quickly, sorry no time for other personals. It's been a busy weekend and I'm sitting here with slow moving thoughts and droopy eyes. So on friday AF came helped close the investigation on the mystery of the wackiest cycle ever. So I'm now on CD 3 and I'm a bit relieved that a new cycle of promise is underway. Yday I touched base with KD and we are a go to start using him in about two weeks. Oh let me tell you all about this great experience I had on friday: (no it was not the start of AF..) I had a first time appt with the gyn doc my DW sees and he was an absolute hoot. Picture this: middle age'd jersey shore guy with the personality of your most fun gay guy bestfriend. Strangely though, he is not gay, but in my heart he is. He was so lively and cordial, going on about how he thinks his gay patients may the best parents, but their efforts to conceive are so incredibly deliberate. He was excited to hear that we had a KD and immediately offered to do IUIs in the office with his sperm, offering to wash it and everything and was taken aback when I shared with him that RE was against us using a KD and wouldn't do tx using his sperm. He said that washing it would make it better anyway. He was so kick ass, that after meeting him for 5 mins I had to give him a high five. So despite the arrival of AF, friday was a pretty sweet day.

So with that, Nos, please put in the "waiting to O" camp. 

And Nos je parle un peu. It's been about 20 yrs since I've spoken french regular. It's sad at this point that there are just a few key phrases that come to me when I least expected it, when ego "Zoe" from hs french class takes over. Regardless of my loss of the language, I have always wanted to return to France, Paris specifically. Someday..............<cue my dream sequence of me in my romanticized version of gay Paris>

ok I'm done now. Good night all 

[darthtunaqueen]

Nos, I hope you have a good trip to Belgium!! It's 2230 PST for us so I imagine you're already on your way!!

Glad to hear of everyone's kds being so amazingly awesome! We also have an amazing KD. So grateful!!

as for condo news, we'll know Tuesday, although we're pretty sure we've got it. :) 

DW is on her 4th cycle heavily regulated from our naturopath, and wonders of wonders, after a year of tracking her cycles and everything, thisis the first month where her ovulation is crystal clear without a hint of doubt or me cursing the TCOYF site. She is DPO 3 and still having tons of CM, something slightly odd, but we've had too many BFNs to get excited this early... :P

Id write more, but my alarm is going off at 5:30... Yuck.

[rs11]

I'll be back later for personals, but I just had to drop in and say whoppee! I just had a GREAT appointment at the RE's office!

MRI: Normal

Follicles: Several small ones between 11 and 14 mm and one giant 17+mm follicle! I'm about ready to go! We'll be inseminating sometime in the next 72 hours or so, depending on my bloodwork. I may or may not take the trigger shot, again depending on the bloodwork.

I feel so much better about this cycles. Prior to the PCOS, I always ovulated on days 14, 15, or 16. Today's day 14, and from the looks of it I should ovulate on my own soon. Our swim team is in the office; we're just waiting on the call now to know about scheduling. My fingers are crossed so hard they hurt.

to all!

[outdoorsy]

Carmen - still thinking of you and hoping for the unexpected on your u/s.

Nosreves - hope it's going well in Belgium! Fingers crossed for the TWWs for both of you.

Allison - good luck with the condo, and of course with the TWW. I totally understand your reservations about reading too much into symptoms, but tons of CM has been a symptom that turned out well for others on this board.

rs11 - so glad to hear you had a great RE appointment and scan.

invitn - sounds like a very cool appointment with the gyn. we all need and deserve this kind of positive support from our health care providers. I hope it bodes well for you.

AFM - CD 14 and thankfully still no smiley. I am worried about another false positive coming too early. I need to hold out until like CD16-20 for this to be a normal cycle. I am a little worried about this cycle because DW wanted to go away on Sat to watch a ski jumping event, and she has been planning it for a long time. That will be CD 19, and if I've gotten my smiley we'll have to cancel at the last minute, which would involve disappointing the friends and family who are invited. I know DW would say the insem is more important, but I'm still a little stressed about it. I'm trying not to be stressed so I don't mess up my cycle!

[Amt1015]

Nosreves-DW is still doing wonderful! She just had some more blood work done to make sure everything is ok but we haven't got the results of these yet. I am on CD25 so AF should be showing up any day now which will put us back in the TTC game! We are super excited and finally have everything lined out with our new donor! Thank you so much for asking!!   

I have everything crossed for you that this is both yours and DP month!!

[carmen358]

Wow, so much good news to read!

nosreves: Thanks for the kind words. Sometimes I feel rock solid and other times I'm a mess. It's my life though so not much I can do about it but make the best of it! Hooray for another trip to Belgium. Good luck with your DPs insem. When do you plan on testing?
 

Anna: Did AF show up? I hope not! Our KD is engaged to a woman he's been with for 8 years. They are getting married in August. She's amazing too and they are planning on TTC soon after they are married. No, we have no rules around when he has sex. Since I've had no problem getting pregnant (8 times now! ;) )  we don't think asking him to refrain on days of insems is necessary. Maybe he does that on his own but we've never asked. My DP and I decided really early on that we wanted this to be as stress free as possible for him (just in case it took a long time...which is has) so we have no special requests at all...we just go with the flow. We've been lucky as he's always really reliable and considerate. As far as we know they are monogamous. He went for STD/HIV tests before we started. Of course, if he were single and/or non monogamous we would have guidelines around safe sex.

invitn: Wow, sounds like an amazing doctor. Are you going to take him up on doing the IUIs?

Allison: Congrats on the clear ovulation. I love that feeling! Good luck to you this cycle.

rs: And hooray to you too for a great RE appointment!
 

outdoorsy: This might be out of the question - but can you do the insem yourself?
 

Afm: I'm home sick with a cold today. Actually, I've felt like I've had a cold for weeks now. DD picked one up about 1.5 weeks into daycare and I think I got it too. Not fun. I'm hoping lots of sleep and rest will fix me up. I've decided I'm going to make a red clover and stinging nettle infusion to drink next cycle. I've been reading amazing things about red clover and fertility for women over 40 (susan weed recommended). I'm also considering a cleanse now that my DD isn't nursing anymore. Oh! Did I mention that? She has sort of unexpectedly weaned herself completely! I think my supply crashed as soon as I was pregnant this time. She stopped asking and I actually stopped offering because it was sooooo painful. I've had mixed feelings about it but mostly I'm at peace with it and I'm really happy she nursed for 25 months :)

[AnnaNotherThing]

invitn- that new gyn sounds awesome!

I wish they were all that much fun! 

Who knew that meeting gynecologists could make one's day and inspire high-fives!  

nosreves-  hope your trip to Belgium went well and you ladies are now both 'en cloque'  

Allison- it's nice when bodies suddenly decide to follow the instructions on the websites, isn't it? 

So much easier and clearer. My fingers are crossed for you guys!

PoCo needs more gay babies. 

rs11- wow, that is all great news! Sounds like things are lining up for you. 

wow, this board really is full of good vibes today! Practically overflowing with fertility and positivity! Yay! 

Carmen- yup, and right on schedule. (S started her period, that is...) ( btw could you move us to 'waitintg to O' please, nos?)

Not much of a surprise here- we were already talking about 'what to do different next month' at the start of the week, so... guess our expectations were pretty clear 

We've got a couple of Drs appointments this week (for unrelated ear problems) and S wants to have her blood work re-checked. We're also going to ask our KD to have his sperm analysis re-done and do a 2nd count 24 hours later, to check numbers. 

Depending on results we might change our insem schedule to every-other-day. We'll see.

S also has another acupuncture appointment which she's actually excited about! Thanks for the recommendation!

Interesting about your daughter weaning. Sounds like there is all sorts of 'turning into the new season' going on in your house.

[rs11]

Carmen: I'm pulling for you on Wednesday. I hope you get good news! I know you're prepared for the worst, but hopefully you won't get it.

Nosreves: How did the appointment in Belgium go? Did you get the medical certificate? I hope you both get BFPs soon! I know how stressful this whole process must be on you, what with all the legal complications and travel and such.

Lisedea: Did you get your insem done on time?

Allison: As others have said, lots of CM can be a good sign, but I understand your caution. Getting your hopes dashed is never a good thing. You said your DP cycles are being regulated by a naturopath. I'm curious how that works. Is it medication? Or is it diet, etc?

Invitin: Yay for a great OB/GYN! I hope he really helps you. Are you going to do the IUIs with him or with your RE? Or have you decided yet? I hope this cycle works for you.

Outdoorsy: Timing insems is so stressful, isn't it? Try not to get too worried about it until Thursday or Friday -there's plenty of time yet. I hope you get that smiley soon!

Anna: There is a lot of positive energy flowing around here today, isn't there? I hope it translates into a lot of graduates in the near future! I'm sorry about your BFN this month, but I'm glad you're already talking about what to do on this cycle. Can I ask what you're planning to do different?

AFM: The RE called and said we're not quite there yet, so I'm taking an OPK in the morning. If it's positive, I'll go in for bloodwork; if it's not, I go in on Wednesday for bloodwork and another u/s. Either way, I'm going to ovulate this week!

[nosreves]

hello lovely gals.  i'm too exhausted to delve into personals right now, but i wanted to thank everyone for the good wishes and thoughts.  DP's insem went very well, and i even think they used the same donor for both of us.  i memorized the numbers on my vial last time around and had them noted in my phone, and from what i was able to quickly memorize this time my numbers matched what DP had.  we'd asked in the beginning if we could use the same donor, but they said that was very complicated and probably not possible, so we just dropped it.  the doctor didn't say anything to us about it today...but how cool would that be?  oh, and they didn't charge us the extra sperm preparation fee of 250euros, either.  i loves me some belgian fertility doctors!       

btw, does anyone have suggestions for relief from acute heartburn/reflux? the RE thinks it's related to the hcg shot/progesterone, and my former life-saving cocktail of apple cider vinegar and baking soda is doing absolutely nothing.  neither is swallowing orangic honey.  it's been going on for days now, and i'm at my wits' end.   anyway...if i can just get the acid in my throat to settle down long enough, i'll .    

sending all you gals tons of love and 

[justrose13]

nos, my very first pg symptom was heartburn that wouldn't go away with anything but Tums, yick. :/ I had always suffered from heartburn fairly often and papaya enzymes or ACV would help then but not in early pg! that the heartburn is a good sign!

[outdoorsy]

Carmen -- We're having the insem done at the clinic, so DW doesn't have to be there, but she won't go to the ski thing without me, so if I have the insem, it cancels the ski thing for both of us. But this stuff is minor compared to the trials of ttc -- we'll just have to deal with canceling it.

[carmen358]

Originally Posted by nosreves 

hello lovely gals.  i'm too exhausted to delve into personals right now, but i wanted to thank everyone for the good wishes and thoughts.  DP's insem went very well, and i even think they used the same donor for both of us.  i memorized the numbers on my vial last time around and had them noted in my phone, and from what i was able to quickly memorize this time my numbers matched what DP had.  we'd asked in the beginning if we could use the same donor, but they said that was very complicated and probably not possible, so we just dropped it.  the doctor didn't say anything to us about it today...but how cool would that be?  oh, and they didn't charge us the extra sperm preparation fee of 250euros, either.  i loves me some belgian fertility doctors!       

btw, does anyone have suggestions for relief from acute heartburn/reflux? the RE thinks it's related to the hcg shot/progesterone, and my former life-saving cocktail of apple cider vinegar and baking soda is doing absolutely nothing.  neither is swallowing orangic honey.  it's been going on for days now, and i'm at my wits' end.   anyway...if i can just get the acid in my throat to settle down long enough, i'll .    

sending all you gals tons of love and 

Good to hear the insem went well. Do they not tell you what donor they used? That seems irresponsible (and annoying) of them not to tell people! And, I'm with wehrli...I had heartburn for the very first time in my life when pregnant with DD. I remember describing the feeling to a coworker (she didn't know I was pregnant) and she laughed and said "ummm, that's heartburn!" My acupuncturist suggest plain almond milk (no soy or sugar) and it helped somewhat. I also actually found chewing gum helped

Originally Posted by outdoorsy 

Carmen -- We're having the insem done at the clinic, so DW doesn't have to be there, but she won't go to the ski thing without me, so if I have the insem, it cancels the ski thing for both of us. But this stuff is minor compared to the trials of ttc -- we'll just have to deal with canceling it.

Well, I hope the ski trip is fun then!

[smilingsara]

Nos, I too am having heartburn for the first time ever. It's a weird feeling. Eating helps me a. It, especially dairy. But it's gotten so uncomfortable that I've been taking tums and Pepcid ac regularly for it. I hope you find some relief from it and still waiting of those positive French pregnancy tests!!!

[darthtunaqueen]

RS, she's been on a cold pressed fish oil for awhile (helps to regulate hormones) and then had a hormone profile done in the fall.  Our ND added Inositol, which is supposed to regulate one of the hormones, as well as a progesterone supplement, since it appeared that her body was struggling to produce and maintain enough progesterone, as seen by her post-ovulatory temps which were ALLLL over the place.  It took a long time (6 months), but we finally saw her body start to respond immediately when she would ovulate, instead of knowing she ovulated, then waiting 2 days for her temperature to go up.  She's also on chlorophyll (tastes like mint), a very high dose of pro-biotics, a prenatal and a couple of other things.  

I got some crummy news the other day when I went to see DW's ND.  I have random symptoms and I didn't know what they were related to, and ND thinks it might be PCOS, since I (most likely) have Celiac disease and crave sugar like there's no tomorrow.  I have to call my family doctor and get a requisition for bloodwork to test all my hormones and fasting glucose.  DW doesn't fully understand the extent of PCOS, but I DO.  

Also, the not-yet-having-the-condo is MASSIVELY stressful, mostly due to the SHEER incompetence of the other realtor (we're still missing the 2 most recent strata AGM minutes), who has now gone on vacation.  AAUGKJS.  So aggravating.  It makes me absolutely furious that people are so inept and just don't give a shit about their jobs.  Anyways.

CD 5.  The CM continues.... strangely though, so does mine (and unless we've had an accident, I highly doubt I'm pregnant... especially with this PCOS thing hanging over my head).  Maybe TMI? There's enough CM that DW is complaining about it.  I've kept my mouth shut about symptoms though, because I do far too good of a job of keeping her hopes up.  My guts tell me it hasn't worked though, but I'll keep my peace to see what happens.  Maybe my guts are too cynical (I am an RN, after all).

Peace out.