~~INFERTILITY ONE THREAD FEBRUARY 2012~~ - Page 4

[chicajones]

Just quickly catching up tonight, and I don't have much time, but....

WISSA!!! So excited for you!!!! When I opened the page and saw your name with all the smiley faces I almost jumped up and down. :) Hooray!!

Gozal, I'll be thinking of you over the next few days--I am hoping and hoping that your temps stay up and your LP goes straight into 18+ days of high temps, so you can get a quick and solid BFP. I totally get not wanting to POAS but wait for temps. Sometimes that just feels much easier. Thinking of you!

Everyone else--aack, I'm so behind! I am finally starting to feel human again after being sick for a week, and I'm in the boring (waiting to ovulate) part of the cycle, so I definitely need to do a follow up post and do personals. But I am thinking of you all and hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

[renavoo]

Just popping in quickly to say...

YAH WISSA!!! CONGRATS!! 

Gozal, I'm ANXIOUSLY waiting to have the opportunity to say congrats to you too. Can't wait until next week to hear the news! BIG HUGS!

Everyone else, let's keep the trend going!!!

[deborahbgkelly]

Wissa- Congrats! Those are both beautiful numbers. Everyone else- Here's hoping the leap year brings some luck. (It's an extra day for possible BFPs).

[Sourire]

Well for all those wondering how long the trigger shot stays in your system... for me it was 9 days. Ive been doing OPKs every day since the trigger and this morning was the first time I didn't see a 2nd line at all.

[shesaidboom]

wissa - YAY!!! Wissa that's great news! Congrats! Now I need to add you to the graduates :)

Sourire - I think the follie was trying to catch up, but my numbers have been better than other cycles since, so maybe the longer cycle is better! Thanks for the luck. That's good to know about the trigger and OPKs. I hope you'll be seeing second lines again a few days, but on the other kind of tests!

gozal - I totally understand about not wanting to test again. It's so hard to see those BFNs. It wouldn't surprise me if those emotions are from pregnancy hormones. I have a very good feeling. I hope things become more clear soon.

cbaa - done and done :)

brichole - I'm glad you have a set schedule! Here's to a new cycle!

chica - I'm glad you're feeling better! Have a good weekend.

renavoo - I agree, let's keep this trend up! We need lots of BFPs!

deborah - thanks for the extra luck!

AFM, just got back from IUI #2 and wow am I in pain. My cervix was high up yesterday and today and both doctors had a hard time getting to it. Yesterday she found a long enough speculum, but today he pinched my cervix and pulled it forward. I'm not going to lie, tears definitely made an appearance. It stings like crazy and I'm having a hard time sitting down. The doctor who performed the procedure today was kind of a jerk and a little rough, which didn't make things easier. The good news is that both dp and I got the best numbers we've ever had for a cycle. His sperm count was crazy high and his motility was 98%. My numbers for yesterday and today were...

Estrogen - yesterday = 448, today = 164

LH - yesterday = 93, today = 32

Progesterone - yesterday = 5.7, today =6.7

My follicle had also burst between yesterday and today, which hadn`t happened in my other IUI cycles. I hope I get to be part of this BFP trend! Here comes the 2ww. Now I`m off to go tux shopping with dp and his guys.

[toothfairy2be]

shesaidboom- all sounds like good news! What will you be doing to distract yourself this 2ww?

Sourire & Gozal- looking forward to twin BFPs from you both in a few days... good to know about the trigger btw.

chica- glad you are feeling better, colds are the worst.

[TickleToes]

Congrats Wissa!!!!

[teresaresa]

Wissa!!! I am so super excited for you - congratulations!!!!

Gozal - I'm hoping we hear the same from you. I'm totally on board with not checking. Better to be pleasantly surprised than definitely disappointed.

Shesaidboom - keeping my fingers crossed for you as well.

Welcome KandJ and Marmo!

I really thought I'd be able to keep up with you all while I was away, but I had terrible internet connection (no wi-fi where I was staying - boo!) so I fell totally behind. I've caught up in reading though - can't believe how much activity there's been!

AFM: Well, cbaa - we're not exactly cycle buddies this round. I'm currently CD5, so I'll be taking my third dose of Femara tonight. My RE upped the dosage to 5mg/day from the 2.5 of last month. He wants me back in for monitoring next Thursday (CD10) because my follie grew so fast last month and I ended up triggering/IUI'ing on CD12. They counted about 10 follies on both sides. I thought it was weird that I ended up with another 31 day cycle (like last month) since I triggered two days earlier - anyone else think that's weird? Unfortunately, the dreaded Femara headache has decided to settle in tonight which is unfortuante as I have a paper to write. Sigh. Knees are feeling creaky too which is new for me, but I know some of the other Femara users on here have mentioned joint issues. Feeling really hopeful for our thread and BFPs.... can't wait to hear of our next graduate! Now, it's time for me to stop procrastinating and start writing!!!

[marmo]

Could you add a blurb for me?  THanks! 

Me, age 31  Dh, age 36  Trying to conceive #2 since 3/10, unexlpained secondary infertility.  Tried 4 rounds of clomid, beginning Femara/ovidrel and good old fashioned bd 2/12

I'm new here, but wanted to join in on congratulating you, Wissa!!  That's so exciting, and encouraging!!  I'm hoping it catches on, and bfp's start popping up all over the place!

Gozal, I totally understand.  I tell myself that every month, but totally give in every month, too.  Not this month!  I'm tired of wasting my money on bad news I already sorta know.  Because of charting, I knew I was pregnant before testing last time.  But since that ended in a miscarriage, I also feel like I need to know asap, so I can get in to get numbers.  in the end, I just really wish that I, or anyone else, just got to have fun getting pg, and that the only worry was the due date or something like that.

Thank you for the welcome, everyone.  It feels good to have somewhere to go to be a little obsessive, and I DEFINITELY value everyone's knowledge and advice.  Af finally showed up, 2 days late.  That's ok, I got to start Femara today.  It's my first monitered/femara/ovidrel cycle.  We're not doing iui, yet.  I don't think we can even afford it, but honestly, I'm not sure how much it even is.  Something to ask next time I'm in, I guess.

This is kinda silly, but is anyone into tarot cards?  My husband has recently gotten into them, and when I got pg this summer, that came up clearly in the cards.  And the morning I went in to find out we lost the baby, that was in the cards too.  Lately, they've been vague, and haven't said anything positive as far as conceiving.  I am trying to brush it off and tell myself not to take them seriously.  But dang it if it's not bothering me.  I am going to try to start thinking more positively, and stay away from cards and other things that make me feel hopeless.  Just kinda curious if anyone else is into tarot cards, etc.

[SilaMarila]

Shesaidboom - It all really does sound good for you this cycle! I hope you are feeling better and that the pain from the procedure is gone!

Gozal - Your chart is looking AWESOME! I'm really hopeful for you. Looking at your chart from last cycle it was similar and then your temp started to go down on 12dpo so I'm rooting for tomorrow!

Marmo - I think I kind of missed when you popped in a a few days ago, so welcome! I think we are going to do a monitored cycle (Clomid) before IUI too (even though IUI has been recommended). Good luck! I do my best to stay away from things that don't bring light into my life. My mantra the past few days has been " By all means, everyday, be happy and free."

Teresa - Hope the headache is better! Do they go away after you finish your last dose?

AFM - So I've been listening to a lot of IF podcasts this weekend (lately from Creating A Family). I was wondering if anyone has read the book Budgeting For Infertility: How to Bring Home A Baby Without Breaking the Bank by Evelina Sterling and Angie Best-Boss? I listened to a podcast where the author was the guest and I'm interested. I would have to buy it though. None of the libraries around me have it boo! Still waiting for AF. Today is 6 days since ending Provera. Cramps for a few days but nothing.

[toothfairy2be]

Teresa- not too far off though. Sorry you have the dreaded headache& creaky joints. My joints are ok so far but mine didnt start til te 2ww last time. That is weird about the long cycle though... Was it your first medicated cycle? Maybe the femara extended your lp.

Marmo- im glad AF held out so you could start femara this time. Did your RE have anything to say at your appt? I dont do tarot, but that is nterestin. I hope if you keep following the cards you have pregnancy in there soon.

Sila- come on AF! I like your mantra & i'm glad your DH is coopertive & wants to prove his swimmers can do better. Positive outlook on both fronts is everything. I downloaded some guided IF meditation podcasts, but I never reall yfollowed through with them. Are you learning anything interesting?

AFM- CD 12 monitoring tomorrow. Still getting off & on headaces. Relaxing as much as possible watching the Superbowl... Hard to relax when my nerves are going AHHHHHH. Go Pats!

[brichole1214]

I had a dream 3 nights ago that me and DH had twins a boy and a girl....it was a wonderful dream other than the fact that we knew EXACTLY what we were going to name the boy but couldn't agree on a girls name to save our lives and they wouldn't let us leave the hospital without having a name for her on a birth certificate lol.  It was very frustrating.  Which, last night i had a dream that DH and one of my good friends had been seeing each other behind my back and came to me and told me that she was pregnant.  I was devistated because in the dream he had told me that he didn't want anymore kids with me...then one of my guy co-workers kicked his butt and helped me go thru my divorce processes lol.  TOTALLY having crazy dreams on this Celexa but at least AF is here FULL FORCE and is hopefuly on her way to being gone for the next 9 months!!!!!  (I hope that is the case anyways!)  Anyone into reading into dreams?  LOL I'd like to know what those two dreams are telling me.  I know that i woke up mad as hell at DH about the second dream.  Which i guess could more be a nightmare than a dream.   I guess it could be some inner fears coming out that i might want to sit down and talk to dh about.  I don't know that i ever think he would cheat on me with a friend but of course with our past and how they always say that the past will repeat itself i can't help but think that that second dream has me thinking that me might try to hook up with someone again and that he might actually succeed in getting another woman pregnant much quicker than we get pregnant together.  I don't know, blah i'm just typing out how i'm feeling i guess...maybe i really should start a daily journal that i keep at home of how i'm feeling and the fears i have in life.  I know that i feel much better once i get them out....i think that would be a great therapy for me.  I hope that everyone has had a great weekend!!! About to get back to watching the super bowl now...come on pat's keep it up!!! 

[wissa19]

Gemmine, cbaa, monkey, smiles, sourire, sila, bichole, gozal, chica, teresa, deborah, renavoo, tickletoes, marmo, shesaidboom thank you all for the Congrats, etc.  It means a lot to me.  I haven't been on this thread as long as some of you, but your support has really helped me.  I hope to hear good news from all you soon.

Gozal - I understand what you mean about testing.  Long ago I bought one pregnancy test.  I promised myself I wasn't going to use it until I knew it was going to be positive.  I decided that I would never test until AF was late and I had pregnancy symptoms.   Not testing really did help me deal with the IF emotional roller-coaster.  IF is cruel.  You get you're  hopes up time after time...you get so close, but never get what you're after...

bichole - yay for a new month!!  Maybe now that your schedule is stable your body will get with it too.  I don't know about your dreams, but I think dreams do sometimes reflect our fears and hopes.  Maybe even our deepest thoughts we're afraid to voice when we are awake.  Writing out your thoughts and feelings is a great idea!  It can be very therapeutic.

Sila - Hope AF gets here soon and you start the next steps in your journey.

teresaresa - I hope you get good results from increasing the femara.  I'm postive that's what did the trick for me.  I think I may have mentioned this before, but epsom salt baths made all the sore joints from femara go away for me. 

Shesaidboom - you numbers keep looking good.  Sorry that doctor was a jerk.  Like dealing with IF isn't enough! 

Marmo - I hope you get good results from the femara.  I guess you can see it work for me.  I don't believe in tarot cards, etc.  I'm too religous for them.  However, I do believe in positive attitudes.  I had been kind of telling myself that if I didn't get a bfp it was ok and I could live with it.  I was sending myself mixed messages because I was tired of hurting.  Yet, this past month I started telling my self everyday I want a baby.  I'm ready for baby.  and well...I don't know that it really helped, but sometimes I wonder if our thought impact what our bodies do.

Chica - Hope you O! It may be the boring part, but it's very important

Cbaa - Sending you thoughts of big mature follicles! 

deborah - beautiful.  That exactly how the nurse described the numbers.  Of course, I wonder if she had any idea of how very beautiful they were to me.

Me - I'm still not really believing and a little worried about something going wrong...after so long (2.5 years) I just can't help it.  I go back on Friday for more tests.  I kinda of wish I could go in sooner just to know if the beta is rising.

FYI - You guys remember the making babies book.  It suggested I drink warm water with lemon in the morning...I never missed glass one morning this cycle.  lol

[deborahbgkelly]

Wissa- Such a great feeling, but I can understand the worrying. Staying positive is so important though. Do whatever you can to make that happen!

[renavoo]

Oooh here's to hoping for more BFPs. Souirie and Shesaidboom, we're waiting (Gozal, for you too...haha. waiting but perhaps a bit impatient. )

By the way, Shesaidboom, um OW. But I'm glad that the signs were there and that it sounds like an optimal time to have done the IUI. 

Sila, that's an interesting book...I wish I heard of it before i started this journey. I didn't and we ended up breaking the bank but in the end, but in the end, it will be worth it. But still, it would have been nice to save a little money.

Cbaa, hope the appointment goes well today! Let us know how everything looks. I'm not even a fan of football (or sports in general because I hate it when anyone loses) but yesterday was a nail biter. haha DH is a huge fan (his foster brother was an NFL player) and he was watching while I was just planning on snuggling next to him. I ended up putting my head under the blankets during some of the especially harrowing parts. ;o)

Marmo and Teresa, Yah for getting started. Before you know it, you'll be in the 2ww with hopefully, good news at the end! We're watching out for you and hoping this is your month! Marmo, I don't know anything about Tarot cards but i agree that it's probably best to stay away from anything that would make you feel any stress. 

Brichole, ugh to the dream (although the first one was good haha). DH and I found that picking a boy's name was easy but we're still up in the air about the name for the girl. :o) It would be funny if you were faced with that issue in the near future! boy and girl twins! As for the second dream, I'm sure that as wissa says, it could be a reflection of your fears (just like the first one is one of your hopes.) Don't let it get you too down. Just continue to be your wonderful cheerful self and hopefully, this month, you'll get your BFP! 

Wissa, I still get really nervous and anxiously wait for tests. I think it's normal, especially considering how long we have been trying. But definitely try as much as possible to revel in this wonderful event. My friend, who first got pregnant at 38 and now has 2 beautiful girls once said to me that we just have to think that whatever happens, it's just meant to be. That's how she talked herself off the ledge because she was also quite stressed. Just take care of yourself, mom to be! 

[marmo]

Brichole- Can I ask if you've had to deal with infidelity in the past with dh?  This summer, right before I got pregnant, I found out my dh was talking to two different women online.  They were out of state, and it was brief, but it was devastating to our marriage.  Add to that ttc for a year and a half at that time, and the miscarriage, and I was a pretty big mess for a while.  It still is a very big hurt, all of it.  But I am pulling myself out of if, and dh and I are working hard on our marriage, and things are good with us.  He read The Five Languages of Love, and I am going to read it too, and already I can see a major change in him.  I'm sorry if my question to you is too personal or painful, it's just that if it happens to many other women struggling ttc, I don't see it talked about a whole lot. 

Shesaidboom- I missed your post about the pain from the procedure, YOWCH! I hope you're feeling better now! 

And thanks, everyone, for reminding me to focus on a positive attitude. Sometimes it feels like steering a great big ship around the opposite way.  But in reality, life IS GOOD, and I can and will focus on that.  It IS true that a healthy mind/spirit results in a healthier body.  When I am positive, I even eat better, and treat my body better (exercise, rest, etc)  It makes me a little sad that dd has had to deal with me as a mom, I haven't been focused and present with her.  But I am CHANGING that, and LOVING how positively it's already impacting my relationship with her.

Babydust to all!!

[Sourire]

shesaidboom - having a doctor pull your cervix down sounds absolutely horrific! I think only a male doctor could do such a thing because they have no idea what it feels like.

teresa - I've noticed that if I O a few days earlier or later the length of my LP sometimes changes a bit to compensate so that my total cycle length is almost the same. Of course that was before I started progesterone, now the progesterone controls the length of my LP. Why did they increase your Femara dosage if your follicles were already growing super fast on the lower dose?

Marmo - last March I was in New Orleans and I thought it would be fun to have a fortune teller read my fortune with tarot cards. I went to see 2 different fortune tellers and one of them said I would get pregnant by that summer (obviously that didn't happen) and the other said I may never have kids (too depressing to even think about)! Anyways for my own sanity I've decided not to believe in that stuff. I've read the 5 Love Languages too and I think it's great. Now I just have to convince DH to read it.

Sila - I hope AF shows up soon. How long did you take Provera for?

brichole - probably best to forget about those nightmares as quickly as possible. If my nightmares came true, most of my family would be drug addicts or they would have died in horrible accidents. I just try to feel thankful they're not true at all and all my family members are alive and well.

wissa - it's time for the post-BFP interview! Could you recap for us your entire TTC journey and everything you tried, especially with your BFP cycle? By the way I reserved the Making Babies book at the library after I read your last post.

Gozal - so when is AF due for you? I'm quite excited to hear how things go. After I got my 100% negative OPK on Saturday I took another one on Sunday morning (9 DPO) and had a faint line. I don't think it means anything but I know you had a similar experience with the HPTs so if you get a BFP I will allow myself to be hopeful!

[gozal]

Oh, you guys! It is so amazing to have you all rooting for me so hard! Seriously, it keeps me going. Thank you. I'll be 14dpo on Wed. (midday, to be precise) and usually get my period 15dpo, so Thursday. On my discharge instructions it says to come for a beta on Fri. if I haven't gotten my period. 

Sila, you totally rock for checking out my chart! I have to admit I was super excited by my high temp yesterday - I've never had a 99F (well,except when I'm sick and have a fever). Albeit I did sleep about an hour later than usual yesterday and I didn't adjust it down. So of course I was (okay, am) upset that today's 12dpo was not so great. As you noticed I've had a few nice 11dpo temps onto to begin The Plunge on 12dpo. However, I'm trying not to read too much into it because I had a bad night's sleep and woke up early. Actually I often will temp twice a morning, because I usually wake up right around dawn. Normally I'll fall back asleep, but sometimes I need to get up to go to the bathroom or whatever and then I can't fall asleep, so I take my temp first just in case. In most cases I'll wake up 2-3 hours later and take my temp again and use that one. So far it seems to be reliable, but I don't really know. Well, yesterday's dawn temp was not too far off from today's dawn temp (which is my only temp since I didn't get back to sleep, so I adjusted it). So...trying not to obessess. I'm really considering giving up temping as well as testing, as long as I'm being monitored. I just feel ridiculous that my mood is so dependent on a temperature data point (well, what it represents really, but you know what I mean).

Wissa - Those numbers are beyond fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!! So excited for you and hope to hear lots more great stuff this week from you!

Sourire, I am copying you with the infertility blog reading. What a great way to get inspired. You can probably imagine how much I hope I get to give you hope - I am praying for twin BFPs for us. (As in, our BFPs come in a near-pair!)

Smiles - I didn't realize we are nearly cycle buddies too! What's going on in yout cycle this time?

cbaa, so you're onto your last femara cycle, right? Praying hard that this is the one for you. Have you had a sit-down with your doctor lately? Me being plan-y again but I want answers for you! Or hypotheses anyway!

Sila - how long are you supposed to wait after stopping the prometrium? I am feeling very impatient for you. ;) 

Shesaidboom - yikes, I've never even heard of such a thing - I hope you are feeling better - OUCH! A way long time ago I had one abnormal pap and had to have a coloposcopy (thank G-d, everything was fine) and I totally saw stars and nearly passed out. The doctor (a woman, btw) acted like it was no big deal, all "you can hop down now" - say what?

Chica, waiting to o isn't the boring part, it's the hopeful part! (Just joking, of course, I know everyone experiences it in their own way.) Hope you are feeling completely better by now.

Teresa, are you all through with the femera by now? How did it treat you over the last few days?

Marmo, I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. IF has ultimately brought me and my husband closer together than ever, but believe me, there have been (many) moments when I've wondered if if it would tear us apart. I still often wonder if we will ever be able to be intimate without flashbacks to timed intercourse. You're right, there is so much that people don't talk about...the marital strains of this...miscarriage for sure...what it's like to have people around you assume you are choosing not to have children or more children. I admire you for your honesty. By the way, I often worry that I am not being as focused and present with DS as I would like to be/think he deserves.It takes a lot of energy to keep my emotions at bay all day long, and sometimes I get myself busy doing something so I won't worry him by seeming sad. I certainly don't mind teaching him that grown-ups are subject to emotions too, just the opposite, it's very important. But I dno't think it's right to burden him, either. I worry that this another thing IF is robbing me of, time just spent enjoying life with DS. I know it's up to me to choose to be joyful and most of the time, I do and can. But I've been at this a long time, 2.5 years already of longing. I don't think there's anyway psychologically to NOT be affected by it profoundly. 

Brichole, I agree with the others who think your dreams are an expression of your hopes and worries. My mom has this theory that pregnancy dreams just mean you have to pee! I hope that you'll have the problem of choosing baby names very, very soon!

Oh, and Renavoo, I have the same sports team problem as you do. :) Now though I do root for DH's teams - why not, it makes him happy!

[Sourire]

Holy meltdown! Today at work I had a panic attack in front of my boss, my boss's boss, and my boss's boss's boss.... awkward!!!! God I hate taking progesterone!!!!!!

[SilaMarila]

cbaa - How did your follies look today? Most of what I have learned from the podcasts I already know, but I enjoy hearing the specialists and I have learned even more! Another one I like is Redefining Fertility if you are interested. I will have to look for the guided meditations! Do you remember what it was called and is it on itunes? My DH is very positive. He's doing intensive acupuncture for the next 4 weeks then he wants to (and the acupuncturist wants to) do another SA to see if his motility has improved at all. 

Brichole - Gah I love/hate baby dreams. Mostly because it all seems so perfect until I wake up. I've been having crazy crazy dreams too interesting.

Wissa - I've been drinking warm water with lemon for the past 2 weeks! I had totally forgotten about it (my first acupuncturist had told me to do it) but remembered when my tummy was feeling funny a while ago. I'll definitely be keeping it up now! Love, love, love, your 1 test story. I'm going to copy you. I have 1 FRER and I'm only going to use it when I know it will be positive. I rarely test anyways, I'm just saying I won't be buying any more.

renavoo - I'm really tempted to buy it! I mean maybe that $16 could save me hundreds or thousands...

Marmo - That's the spirit! Jump right on the positivity train! Love and light!

Sourire - I took Provera (10mg) for 7 days. Last Monday was my last dose. So it's been 1 week. Commmme on AF! When's your Beta/are you doing one? Hope you are feeling better since your meltdown!

Gozal - I saw your temp this morning. But I'm glad you validated it away for me/you haha. Another reason why charting makes us crazy. I've never been able to not chart. Because it's the one and only way I can know I actually ovulated. Now that I will be monitored I most likely will stop temping after O. I'm looking forward to it! When is your Beta/are you doing one? The nurse at the RE said AF usually comes 5-7 days after stopping the Provera. Sometimes up to 10. Well today is 7. Of course I Googled and found stories of it taking 14 days for quite a few people.

AFM - I have an appointment with a new RE March 19th (SO FAR AWAY!). We most likely won't be doing IUI until I'm with the new RE because he is in our insurance network and will bill our insurance so we can buy some time and not have to keep shelling out cash. So once I ever start a cycle we'll be doing at least one monitored cycle on Clomid. Miracles do happen! Ugh I get pretty intense for like an hour then they are gone.  I get sad when I wipe and nothing is there. It feels like labor, like I'm just having practice AF cramps but she will come eventually.