~~INFERTILITY ONE THREAD FEBRUARY 2012~~ - Page 5

[shesaidboom]

cbaa - I think wedding planning and volunteering are the only things keeping me sane right now. I am already getting impatient though.

teresaresa - Thank you for the crossed fingers!
I had the same thing happen on my second Femara/IUI cycle. I triggered on CD11 or 12. I'm sorry you've got the Femara headache. Take it easy and be good to yourself. I hope it goes away soon. I haven't gotten the headache, but I definitely have the joint issues. I hope this cycle brings you a BFP!

marmo - added your blurb :)
At my clinic where we do two IUI treatments each cycle, it's $420 the first treatment and $200 the second. The cost is actually for the sperm wash I believe.
I don't have experience with tarot cards, but I hope you do conceive soon even if it isn't shown in the cards! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your first monitored cycle.
Your attitude is great, definitely an inspiration!

silamarila - thank you! my cervix is still sore, but it's much better. I was surprised this cycle because my IUIs had never been painful before, just a bit uncomfy.
I haven't heard of that book, but it sounds like something I'd like to read! Thanks for sharing. Could you ask your libraries to order it for you? I know our local libraries will often order a book if they don't have it.
When I took provera the first time it took about 8 days for AF to show up for me. I had expected it to work right away, but it definitely did not.

brichole - I've had a similar dream to yours about your dh cheating and getting another girl pregnant. I've had it a few times and it is really upsetting. I know dp would never do that, but I think it would be the absolute worst thing he could do. I'm sorry you've been having weird dreams and that they have been so upsetting. I hope that your dh would never do that, especially with everything you've been through. I'm glad you're able to get things out here.
I hope your AF is gone for 9 months too! I'm hoping this BFP trend keeps up and we all get ours this month.

wissa - It's understandable you'd be feeling that way, but it's still very exciting! I can't wait to hear your Friday update. I'm sure it'll be great news :)

renavoo - I hope I'm able to share some BFP news soon! I think this cycle was definitely our best so I hope that counts for something.

sourire - Oh, sourire, I'm so sorry about your panic attack. I get them often so I can definitely sympathize. I hope they were understanding and didn't make you feel any worse.
I was thinking the same thing about a male doctor being the only one to do that. I think a female doctor would be crying along with me. Dp said it probably felt like getting kicked in the balls.

Gozal - Does your clinic not do a beta even if you do get a period? Ours does because some women get breakthrough bleeding, which can be mistaken for a period. I cannot wait for your results!!
Thanks, I am feeling better but am still a bit sore. I hate that the doctor you had made it out like no big deal. That stuff is painful!!

AFM, oh how much I had this 2ww. I'm only a few days in and already cannot stand waiting. Thankfully no progesterone symptoms yet though.

[toothfairy2be]

Sila- Come onnnnnnn AF, stop knocking and just come already. Go DH GO! I'm glad you have a great acupuncturist. I am listening to those podcasts you recommended now. I lost all of my podcasts when my computer crashed a few months ago but I can't remember which ones I liked. I have the Chopra center for wellbeing, Meditation for health, Meditation Oasis... but I don't recall loving any of them, probably why I didn't stick with it! They were from iTunes.

Wissa- I will start drinking warm water with lemon too. For a while I drank all my water with lemon, but it wasn't always warm and I didn't stick to it... I would also be interested in a recap of your journey and what you started diffently this cycle. Again, I'm so happy for you and little bean!

brichole- sorry about the crazy dreams! Do you think it is the celexa? I don't really read into those things but I hate how stressful they can be!

Sourire- Ohh the breakdowns, I hope you are feeling better. Even my boss when I had a meltdown a few months ago, mid meltdown, asked if I were pregnant yet... at the time it seemed inappropriate and insensitive... now I can see the clomid/progesterone combined literally made me a crazy person & I was freaking out about something silly. Just remind yourself it will all be worth it. It is possible the things you would have kept bottled up & before just sneak out when your inhibitions are effected with hormones, maybe they were meant to be addressed anyway!

Marmo- Yay for a positive attitude. There are always good things to focus on, sometimes they are just hard to find. I'm glad you are working on your relationship with DH. So hard to go through infertility but there is so much love & growth to be found when youare able to reconnect.

Gozal- I hope can't wait for Friday when your beta comes back positive. Are you feeling superstisious or do you have any symptoms to let us obsess over? I hope this is it for you, plleeeease. As far as the next step should there be one (which there likely will be)... I need a follow up with my RE a week after IUI for a chat. I am guessing Gonal-F but I'm not sure... I have a call in to the NaPro doctor, so I will probably have an appt there in April, which means learning the Creighton model and charting that, bloodwork every other day (I think) and getting off all my meds and some supplements. I think I'll only do 1 cycle of injections before calling this IF/RE game quits...

AFM: Ohhh follicles shamollicles. I have 5. Right side 14, 14, 10. Left side 11 & 11. Nobodys ready to make me a baby just yet, I go back Wednesday for another check. I will never understand these drugs and my reactions to them... Last month on day 12 with the same dose I had 1 follicle at 24 and my LH peaked on its own, this month, 5 itty bitty baby follicles. Anyone had a cycle canceled for over-stim? I'm worried if my 14s and 11s all grow that I will get cancelled... info/advice?

Estrogen: 16, LH: 4.1, Progesterone: 0.427- She never leaves my lining on the message.

As far as sports go- I am a 'fan' but not a 'superfan' meaning I care about the result & hype, but I'm not all that interested in the game itself. I played online solitaire and cooked lettuce wraps while 'watching' the game. I do however feel quite morose today... better about a stupid game than IF though, right? 

[teresaresa]

marmo: so, I don’t personally know how to read tarot cards, but I definitely went through a period of a few months during which I saw several psychics. One who I really, really liked said that I would be pregnant in either June or July of this past year. He was wrong. I’m actually going to see a new person who works with tarot next week. I’m promising myself this will be the last time! I definitely believe in this sort of thing, but I also think that we make choices all the time that alter our path. So, just because you don’t see the baby in the cards right at this moment, doesn’t mean that it won’t be there. You make lots of choices everyday about your body, mind, and soul. Eventually, that right combination of choices is going to show you a baby in those cards. I’m sure of it!!!! Hang in there :)

SilaMarila: I still had the headaches for a few days after the last round of Femara, but they didn’t last into the 2ww. Hoping the same will be true this time around. I didn’t even know that there was such a thing as IF podcasts! I’m going to have to check them out. Any that you recommend? Ok, I know your waiting for AF story is frustrating and sad… but the practice AF cramps line was pretty darn funny!!! I’m excited you have an RE appointment with someone in-network – yay for getting some insurance relief!

cbaa2010: hi there! No, not my first medicated cycle, but it was my first on one Femara (did one Clomid prior). Just one more thing for me to obsess about :) Not sure about over-stim – I haven’t experienced that yet. I thought it was good to have multiple follies (I mean I know it increases chance of multiples, but I still thought it was good). What does of Femara are you on right now? Funny how our bodies react differently each time, right? And I mean funny in the “totally annoying and frustrating” way, not the “haha” way!

brichole1214: my therapist is really into dream analysis. Mostly what she has me focus on is how I was feeling within the dream. You mentioned in your post that your dream about DH left you feeling devastated. If I was trying to emulate my therapist, I would probably say that there is something in your relationship with DH that is making you feel let down (devastated is so strong a word!). I don’t think it means that you’re feeling like he’s going to cheat… you’re probably just acting out in your dream that sensation that a lot of us have about your DH not being as supportive of this process as you would like and feeling let down by that. As for the other girl in the dream getting pregnant right away, I think you just need to remind yourself of how beautiful, amazing, and perfect you are. Sounds like you aren’t telling yourself that enough. On the other hand, maybe I should not try to be my therapist – that’s why I’m paying her and not myself, right – haha!!

wissa: did the Making Babies book suggest the warm lemon water because of your type? Or was that a suggestion for all types?? I need to get that book asap!! Still doing my yippie hippie dippie dance for you!!!!

shesaidboom: ugh! Painful, painful, painful. Someone else mentioned having an abnormal pap smear. I had one of those too, and I went to two different docs who snipped pieces of my cervix. I have to say that the woman was a million times worse. She said something along the lines of, “what’s your problem?” while I had tears streaming down my face. I think sometimes the male doctors are more sensitive to it all since they know that they have NO idea how that stuff feels. I hope you don’t have to go through a rough IUI again!!!

Sourire: I love seeing your name, because it always makes me smile :) Interesting point about your O vs. LP. I was O’ing pretty regularly on the same day. This was the first time I was able to compare with the trigger shot. I probably need to relax and not overanalyze. Not sure why he upped the Femara. Maybe because I only had one follie on the 2.5mg. Or maybe to make me feel like we were moving forward and not doing the same thing over and over? Probably a good question to ask, though usually my questions are more about technical stuff. Generally I trust whatever he’s telling me to do. Just read your progesterone post – I agree!!! It’s the pits! I was so glad to skip it last month. I think it might also be a full moon tonight, so hopefully tomorrow will be better!

gozal: the suspense is killing me!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you! Tonight was my last night of Femara…. I feel totally wiped out. Fighting the headache tonight and can feel the tightness in my neck, shoulders and face. Blech. Also, spacing out a bit at work – not sure if that’s related, but it’s definitely weird!

AFM: had a totally weird and rough day at work. I feel like I'm so far behind after a week out of the office! Hoping that I have a chance to catch up these next few days. Although monitoring on Thursday will be another 2 hour chunk gone. Can someone please make the meetings and appointments stop!?!? I know I just had some fun time in the sun, but I'm definitely counting down to our weekend away in the Berkshires .... a little QT for me and DH. Looking forward!

[hope4light]

Hello Ladies!

I disappeared for a while, after having just shown my face for a bit.  Oops.  So, me:

Hope4Light: Name:Emms.  Age:31, DH 33.  TTC #2.   Trying Since: March 2011 (after PPAF came back) with severe MFI.  Plan for this Cycle:  Met with RE1 last week, meet with RE2 next week.  Then hopefully move forward with cycle testing and SA (all of our tests are from back in 2007/2008 when were were dealing with primary IF), and then onto IVF with ICSI.  Thoughts: Trying to stay positive and go into TTC #2 with a different attitude.  TTC #1 almost ruined me, and I refuse to let that happen again.

Since I originally joined back up to this board, I ended up getting a new position within my company and we moved 5 1/2 hours away.  This, of course, happened just a short time after finally meeting with 2 different RE's and trying to decide which to go with, donor sperm IUI or IVF again.  So, we had to start the new RE search all over again.  Met with the first last week and didn't really love her.  Meet with the second next week and we are hoping that we really like this one.  I apologize because I didn't read all back through the 5 pages, but I'll keep up better now

CBAA - I had a cancelled IVF cycle due to hyperstim.  It sucked.  We skipped right to IVF, so I don't know about overstimming with any of the other treatments, but when that first cycle was cancelled was when I first joined MDC for the support. 

Shesaidboom - I had abnormal paps back in the late 90's early 00's.  Had to get a couple of colposcopies and then cryotherapy.  They never thought it affected my fertility, but the treatments were painful.  I hope that you never have one again!!

[Sourire]

I've had a bunch of abnormal Pap smears and colposcopies in the past. I've never had to have anything treated though because my Paps always went back to normal on their own. I've noticed the abnormal results usually happen during stressful times. The colposcopies are not fun though! I always make DH come with me to hold my hand, cause its too scary to do alone.

For those of you suffering from Femara headaches, I have a great yoga DVD called Yoga for Stress Relief: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000ICLRKW/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1328621458&sr=8-1
It has routines that help with all kinds of stuff like anxiety, digestion, back pain, insomnia, and headaches. I tried the headache one the other day and it's like magic! Some types of yoga have made headaches worse for me (especially if there are a lot of head down positions) but this routine made my headache disappear. By the way I've ordered the fertility yoga DVD that some of you recommended and I'm anxiously awaiting its arrival!

hope4light - welcome! Good luck finding a new RE.

Teresa - after the day I had yesterday I'm thinking I should change my nickname to the French word for "tears" instead of the word for "smile".

My panic attack happened because I had to present some stuff at a really important meeting with a bunch of big-shots. I intended to finish preparing the presentation yesterday morning because the meeting was right after lunch, but then my computer broke down and I spent the entire morning with IT people trying to fix it and didn't have time to get ready for the meeting. Also I couldn't find my boss so shortly before the meeting I started having a full blown panic attack complete with crying, shaking, hyperventilating and a complete shut down of my brain. Finally about 15 mins before the meeting I found my boss and told him that nothing was ready and that there was no way I could present anything in my current state. So my boss ended up having to improvise the entire presentation and meanwhile I was there trying to fight back tears and not always succeeding. Luckily most of the other participants were over the phone so they couldn't see me. Anyways my boss didn't say anything about it to me after because he is super awkward with these situations, but my boss's boss came to me after and said the meeting had gone well and I made a good recovery at the end (people started asking me questions and I had managed to calm down enough to act normally by then). When I left work I started crying again because I managed to disable my transit pass by doing something dumb, then I went to my therapist and spent an hour crying to her, then I went home and cried to DH all evening. What an exhausting day.

[wissa19]

Gozal & Marmo - I struggled with being present for my DS too. I know it  might be hard for those TTC #1 to understand, but sometimes I didn't even want to look at his baby pictures.  They always just seemed to remind of what I couldn't have.  I slipped into a depressed state and spent my days looking up IF stuff and before I knew it I hadn't spent any time with him.  One day it just kind of hit me that I wasting time with DS because I was upset over something that might never happen.  I realized that if having a baby was the only that would make me happy...then I probably didn't need to have one.  I don't know if that makes any sense, but that was my emotional rollers coaster.

Sourire -  That certainly does sound like an exhausting day.  I'm so sorry that happen to you. 

cbaa -  That's does sound like a lot of follicles.  I think I would just be excited rather than worrying about over stim.  It's possible only the 14 mm will trigger.  Your numbers look good...you are just waiting to surge!

Hope - Welcome.  Finding a new Doctor is always a little bit scary and a lot of trouble.

Sila - Practice cramps...Too Funny.  I was rolling. 

Sourire - I'm not sure everyone wants to know, but since you asked I'll give a brief synopsis of my TTC #2 journey and the cycle that finally worked.   2.5 years, 3 doctors, low carb/excerise for a year losing nearly 20 lbs. (too the point of almost too thin.) , 3 clomid cycles, Metformin, 1 surgery for non-existent polyp, which revealed a blocked tube and endo, 2 monitored femara cycles. 

Cycle that worked -

Baselines -  20 antral follicles, FSH 7, E2 24

CD 5-9 - 7.5 mg (3 pills) femara

CD13 - Full blown positive on OPK

CD14 - 4 mature follicles, only 1 (20mm) on good tube side--  E2 232, P4 .06, 10,000 IU trigger shot

CD17 -  started Progesterone suppositories at night 200 mg

CD 21 - P4 37

CD 28 - Beta 189 - P4 55

I credit my Re for increasing my femara and DH bd'ing until he just didn't have anything left, but here is my list of Supplements

Metformin

Vitamin D3 - 5,000 IUs (3 months)- because Vitamin D deficiency is related to Insulin Resistance

Grapeseed extract/resveratol  - because it was in the vitamin D and I coun't find anything that said not to take it when TTC.  It apparently increased litter size in rats. (So, I figured why not)

Chromium - Iceland Heatlh Chromax 500 mcg, help with blood sugar/metabolism

MSM -(Methylsulfonylmethane) -  This normally comes with glucosamine & chondrotion.  I have lower back problems and I took it 2x a day with I got pregnant with DS.  It's the one thing that I did pre DS that I hadn't tired.  Glucosamine & Chondrotin do not go well with metformin (major GI issues).  So, I finally figured out I could just take the MSM.  It's a sulfur like the NAC. When I researched it I couldn't find anything about it helping with fertility except that dog & horse breeders use it.

Baby aspirin -

Centurm Prenatal - because I had a coupon for it. ;)

Epsom salt baths 3x week for magnesium -   because I read that magnesium deficiency and vitamin D deficiency are related.

Warm Water with Lemon in the A.M - because the making babies book recommended it for my type.

[teresaresa]

Sourire: funny, since "larmes" sort of sound like alarm and it definitely sounds like you had an alarming day yesterday. I'm so sorry that progesterone knocked you on your kiester. I hope all is right with the world today and that you're back up and at it again. Sometimes you just need a day to let it all out - stinks that it was on a day of a presentation, but you made it through!!!

[monkeyscience]

gozal - Chart stalking and hoping for you... it's looking so good!!

shesaidboom - Ouchie ouch ouch ouch about getting your cervix pulled! I've suctioned my DivaCup to my cervix a few times, and holy hand grenades, that HURTS! Glad you're feeling optimistic about this cycle!!

cbaa - I hope you don't end up overstimming! I haven't done it, but I've heard it can be painful. So hopefully one or two keep getting bigger, and the rest calm down. I'm actually surprised that a lot of you ladies are triggered when you have 3-4 follicles that are somewhat big, because I'm pretty sure my RE wouldn't have done it out of fear of higher-order multiples. Also, question... what is NaPro? I've never heard of it until you mentioned it, I don't think. I hope you can just jump on the BFP bandwagon that seems to be starting and not have to worry about it!

krunchy - How are you doing? Have you had an ultrasound yet? I'm sure we'd all love an update!

Sourire - That is so sucky about your panic attack! I'm glad you were able to recover some before the end of the meeting, and that your boss's boss was pleased with the outcome.

Everybody else... . Still praying for you ladies. I'm excited that we have some really hopeful-looking cycles this month. I'm hoping February becomes a BFP explosion around here. Consider it my birthday wish.

AFM, mw visit last week was great, everything is going very well, and I'm really having fun telling more people. I still throw up every morning and still have some bad days now and then (like yesterday... ugh), but I'm making it.

[rcr]

Wissa!!!!!!!

[monkeyscience]

I forgot to mention - I have about 40 internet cheapie OPKs I'd be more than happy to send one of you ladies for free, if it would be useful to any of you. Someone on the BSL thread sent me theirs after she got pregnant, and I ordered a bunch more when they ran out, figuring no way was I actually getting pregnant any time soon. For once, the universe actually laughed at me and decided to make that purchase useless to me in short order.

Also, I posted a ridiculously long, rambly update about my life on the grads thread, should anyone be interested. Speaking on the grads thread... shesaidboom, would you mind linking to the grads thread somewhere in the first post?

[rcr]

Monkey - I will be off to stalk you on the grads thread soon.

[shesaidboom]

cbaa - I hate how the reactions to the drugs can change and be so confusing! I hope you get some answers tomorrow, and I hope your cycle is not cancelled.

teresaresa - ouch ouch ouch! Did she really say that to you? Some doctors can be awful!
I'm sorry work has been so rough. I often wonder how people manage to do cycle monitoring since it can take so long, but I guess we do what we have to! I hope things let up soon.

hope4light - welcome back! Do you have a blurb you want added to the front page? Congrats on your new position, although I'm sure it was hard to start the RE search again. I hope the second one is a good fit!

sourire - it sounds like a lot of you have had experience with the abnormal paps and colposcopies. It sounds really painful! I hope nobody has to go through it again.
Thanks for the yoga DVD recommendation, I'll have to check that out.
I'm glad that the meeting ended up being saved and you did a great job answering questions. Still, what a day! I'm sorry you had to go through that.

monkey - I'll have to remember to NEVER do that with my diva! I'm glad your mw visit was great and everything is going well. I hope there will be less bad days as time goes on.
I'll post a link after the grads list :)

AFM, I am getting some horrible stomach aches. I've read that can be normal with progesterone suppositories. Have any of you experienced that? I had the same thing last time..it felt like period cramps but worse. I really hope all this trouble and pain ends with a BFP!

[krunchyk]

Hello All! I'm so sorry for the long absence. I went out of town for a weekend getaway to celebrate a friend's impending nuptials.  I do not have a smart phone, nor did I bring my computer.  First and foremost, congratulations Wissa! Fabulous news.  Gozal, I have my fingers crossed.  Sourire - I've had my fair share of panic attacks, and public speaking has never been a favorite of mine. I can relate and I feel for you.  Ugh.  I hope you are able to decompress and relax - but not in the "just relax" kind of way.

Ladies, there are so many of you in the 2ww!  I'm off to chart stalk and hope to do some more personals tomorrow.

AFM - I'm going to start updating on the Graduates thread, thanks for the checking in Monkeyscience!   

[fierrbugg]

Hello Ladies:

Super oldie checking in to say Hi - not sure that anyone will remember me since we put TTC on the shelf for the last nearly 3 years.  And not like I've had an actual cycle since 07/2011.  But getting back on track in 2012 if we can.  Have some preliminary tests to deal with the no show af, and looking for a new RE who can address all of the issues it took us 8 years to find.  Anyway, not sure that I'll be doing an actual cycle anytime soon - but wanted to poke my head in, just the same. 

[renavoo]

Just stalking but wanted to give Teresa and Sourire a big hug...  I hope things at work start getting better soon. It'll all be worth it when you get the BFPs but getting there is the most difficult part.

Shesaidboom, I got cramps too. I attributed them to either ovulation or implantation. haha I'm hoping that it's the latter for you (although it may be a bit early!) just wishful thinking but this cycle has been so perfect so far! Let's take it all the way!

Gozal, . Isn't today 14 dpo?

Welcome Hope and Fierrbugg! May your stay here be short. 

everyone else, 

[toothfairy2be]

I'm going to come back later for a better update- but my follicles are still s*cking. 16 (grew 2mm), 14 (unchanged) on the right, 12 (grew 1mm) on the left... seriously... 2 mm in 2 days is the best that one could do... Ugh. Off to the gym.

[wissa19]

cbaa - I'm talking to your ovaries right now.  How frustrating!   When you do you have to go back?  Did they redo your blood work too?  Let us know.

shesaidboom - No cramps on progesterone except around AF time.

monkey - Glad to hear everything is going well with you...I had been wondering since you didn't update right away.  Give me some time and I may join krunchy in moving  to the graduates thread too.

[gozal]

Sourire - oh no, I'm so sorry about the panic attack and all the chaos. You know what happens to me when I am overhwhelmed or panicked at work? I pass out. Totally not exaggerating here. When I feel all frozen and can't express my emotions my body channels some kind of primitive cave woman response to stress and literally shuts down. You know what people do when their blood pressure has plummeted because they are about to pass out? All sorts of weird things like lying down on the floor or just turning and running. Ugh. I have done this one the first day on the job and once at a trendy bar during a work party. So I consider any recovery not played out by sitting down on a cold, wintery NYC pavement with your boss insisiting that you go to the ER to be awesome!

Sila, I can relate so much to that feeling of wanting my period to come already just so I can be fertile. (At my 6-week PP OB appt after DS was born, the doctor asked me the standard "do you want brith control" question and I said, "No, we would welcome another pregnancy anytime"...aaaaaand I had to wait 3.5 years for my period.) I am willing it to come so you can start all over. I hope even though you can't do IUI this cycle, that the monitoring is illuminating and who knows, maybe your response to Clomid will be so good you don't even need it....hoping very hard for you! Come on, AF.

shesaidboom, I'm sorry to hear about the stomach aches - I didn't experience that on progesterone, though I did get some cramps right around the time I started using it. I should mention also that I got different symptoms from it different months, which was somewhat bizarre. Sometimes I had super-smell and at other times sore breasts, and so on. I hope you feel better soon...sometimes the symptoms let up as your body gets used to it. The 2ww...it sucks, right? (Hello, understatement.)

cbaa, uuuugggghhhh how frustrating!! From what my RE tells me 1mm growth per day is totally normal in the follicular stage until you get close to o, so I'm hoping the 2mm is actually a good thing. Also there was oen cycle when my dominant follicle seemed to shrink by a 1mm or so and I was totally hysterical until the doctor told me it's a quite subjective measurement...they try to pick the widest diameter but sometimes they need to remeasure or the seemign shrinkage is human error. At my office they also don't cancel with 4 mature follicles. Monkey, were you asking about that also? From what I understand 3-4 mature follicles is the desired response to Clomid in ovulating women. It is extremely unlikely that the would result in higher-order multiples - even if all fertilize (rare) there is only a 50% implantation rate among fertilized eggs. For example, I had three mature on my first Clomid cycle and unfortunately 0 babies. cbaa, what CD are you on? I have faith this cycle could still work out, I really do.

teresa, sorry that work is so crazy! I can't tell you how awful I am at managing work stress (see above, LOL) so I am full of admiration for your ability to handle such a busy schedule. (I might have no choice soon, but right now I just get to write at home, it's so nice.) The monitoring does take a lot of time, especially if your RE isn't near where you live/work like mine. It's an hour just in drive time. I hope you have a lovely weekend in the Berkshires though!

hope4light, welcome! Here's wishing you a short stay. I was lucky, I think, that I found an amazing doctor on the first try - she was simply the first on my insurance that could take me basically right away. For other doctors, I've sometimes had to try three or four offices, and still not ended up satisfied...it can be so tough. I hope you can start your protocol soon!

wissa, why yes, I was wondering :) so thanks for giving us the lo-down on your awesome cycle! I am so glad to know I'm not the only one that has trouble looking at DS's baby pictures. I feel like I was a different person then, almost like it was somebody else. My pregnancy was one of the happiest times of my whole life. I'm tormented by all the rows of neatly labeled baby clothes I have from DS. I intentionally stuck to gender-neutral stuff as much as possible, for reuse purposes (and because I'm not crazy about gender messages in clothing anyway). I need to go put away another bin of 3T clothing and I can't bring myself to do it. I actually told DH in a fit of depression that I should start giving it away, but I don't think I want to do that. But, like you say, being present for DS is the thing that keeps me going. It hit me also, I want DS to remember his early childhood as filled with love and wonder, and I don't want to look back on these days and not feel a sense of love and wonder myself. 

Monkey, stalking you (and the others!) on the other thread...I'm so, so glad to hear what the mw said. I cannot believe you are the end of the first tri...so awesome.

rcr, I've been thinking of you and hope you are doing okay! 

fierrbugg, welcome! I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through. You must be incredibly strong. I hope you are able to get on track soon!

AFM, soooo, 14dpo. Thank you to all my sweet chart stalkers! My temp today was 0.1F less than yesterday and I momentarily freaked out until I realized, it's 14dpo and my temp is over flippin' 98.6. That is a good thing. I'm trying really, really hard to take it day by day and not think ahead. Psst, cbaa, I promise I will share symptoms if it turns out they are not all in my head/extra progesterone from multiple follies!

[Gemmine]

Sourire: So sorry to hear about the panic attack! This medicine just won't cut you a break. 

gozal: If you ship a "sample" to me, I'll test for you! If it's negative, I'll just act like it got lost in the mail. Seriously, keeping my fingers crossed for you!

wissa: What was your fertility "type" from Making Babies?

Sila: Do I need to send a team of raptors to get AF for you?

AFM: F-I-N-A-L-L-Y got DH to submit a sample! He came home for lunch and I took a half-day so I tucked the cup under my shirt and drove like a Mario Kart (any Nintendo lovers out there?) driver to the clinic to get it in. The doctor said allow four days, so I BETTER have my results Monday!!! Phew, that's a big load off (wait, what?).

In other news, at this point, every night I am taking: prenatals, DHA, baby aspirin, evening primrose oil, and Mucinex. Preseed should get here Saturday, which is when I should ovulate.

Back to lurk mode to catch up with everyone!

[hope4light]

Sourire if you could add:

Hope4Light: Age:31, DH 33.  TTC #2.   Trying Since: March 2011 (after PPAF came back) with severe MFI.  Plan for this Cycle:  Met with RE1 last week, meet with RE2 next week.  Then hopefully move forward with cycle testing and SA (all of our tests are from back in 2007/2008 when were were dealing with primary IF), and then onto IVF with ICSI.  Thoughts: Trying to stay positive and go into TTC #2 with a different attitude.  TTC #1 almost ruined me, and I refuse to let that happen again.

Fierrbug - were you here back in 2008?  I think I recognize your name... that's when I was here (maybe back a little into 2007 too... I disappeared after my BFN from my 3rd IVF w/ICSI in July 2008).

Thanks to everyone for the warm welcome!  I cannot say I'm happy to be here, but this was the greatest group of women, and the greatest support that a girl could have asked for the first time around.  I can tell it hasn't changed over the years!

Babydust to everyone!!