Do you leave your kids in the car? - Page 2

[rubidoux]

Originally Posted by emilysometimes 

I wouldn't do it.  Even if it's "not too hot" outside, the temperature inside the car can skyrocket very quickly.  Several children DIE here in Texas every summer because of this very thing. (I read once the actual physiological changes that cause death from being locked in a hot car. Heartbreaking to think of a baby going through that. Don't leave your dog in there, either.)

The hot car thing completely terrifies me.  I hate having my kids in a hot car even for a moment  --  like if I put the baby in the passenger's side and then have to walk around to the driver's side to get in myself, it gives me the weebie jeebies.  What if I had a heart attack on the way there, or I was mugged and injured?  I know that's totally paranoid, but I do think it and hate having it even pass through my mind.  And my car windows are tinted dark (which I hate!) so if somehow my little one were in the car and something had happened to me I don't think anyone would be able to see him.  BUT this is not an issue in *all* weather.  You only hear about that happening in Texas in the summer because it really does only happen when it's summer-y weather (and yes, that can happen any time of the year in certain locations  --  it was in the 80s here last week).  I understand that it can happen at lower temps than one might think, but it would not happen if it was say 55 degrees out and you were parked in the shade.  

I was so relieved when my older ds *finally* reached the age where he could get out of his buckles on his own.  Little guy is almost 3 but that main buckle is so hard to undo!  But we are close I think.

[3xMama]

Originally Posted by philomom 

No, never.
I lost a friend over this topic because more than once I got to the local fabric store/craft store or grocery store in my neighborhood and found my friends toddlers tethered in their carseats alone in the car. The first time or two, I said to her I don't think this is good idea. The fourth time I saw this I said something to her husband. She called me later, gets all b****y and tells me to get off my high horse and mind my own business. She says she's only gone "ten minutes" but once I stood at her locked car for half an hour waving at her cute toddlers while she was filling up her cart.
Maybe some folks shouldn't have children.

Good grief, really?! I agree, maybe some shouldn't....

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

Umm..yeah! I don't own a car, but my ex does, and I was talking to him about this once, and he said that he would never leave DS in the car for this reason. His younger brother climbed out of his seat once and accidentally took the car out of park. Thankfully the car was in the driveway and couldn't really go anywhere (the driveway is hard to explain, they may have rolled into the street but its not busy), and got SUPER lucky and no one was hurt. Scared the life out of my ex's mom though, and she never left the car running ever again.

Wow, that's pretty scary! I will have to keep that in mind as the littles get bigger. Even to run back into the house to grab a forgotten purse could cause this. Eeek!

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

I was just thinking that.  My mom used to leave me in the car while she worked out at the gym.  Really sucked.  What do you do in a parking lot for an hour.  I think I was about 8.  It annoyed me more later on when she complained about her mom leaving her in the car to go into a bar a few times.  Right atleast that was a small town and there was a park across the street.  Meh. 

Yeah, that's not cool. Its boring, its hot and its really really not necessary.
 

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl 

I would not leave them in the car if they expressed any discomfort in being left.

This is a good point. I'd never force my kiddo(s) to stay somewhere s/he felt uncomfortable and scared. 

Originally Posted by emilysometimes 

I wouldn't do it.  Even if it's "not too hot" outside, the temperature inside the car can skyrocket very quickly.  Several children DIE here in Texas every summer because of this very thing. (I read once the actual physiological changes that cause death from being locked in a hot car. Heartbreaking to think of a baby going through that. Don't leave your dog in there, either.)

Yup, I don't even leave the car in the driveway when it gets hot to run inside to grab my forgotten purse without turning the ac on full blast. Course I will have to pay better attention to grabbing my purse as they get older, I think! (above comment) Anyway, that scares the heck outta me! 
 

[AllyRae]

Nope, I don't.  Why take the risk for something that isn't necessary.  I pay for my gas at the pump and have absolutely no reason to leave them in the car alone (except in my locked garage with the engine off and the baby monitor on if they're napping.  I also have a remote starter, so I can theoretically leave the car on with the AC or heat on and lock the doors if I have to run in the house real quick for a lost purse but I have a garage so I don't need to do that. )  Is it a pain to take 3 kids in?  You bet.  Especially since you also can't leave coats on in the carseat so even if I have to run into someplace for 5 minutes, I have to get all three kids out of the car and into their coats, and then take off their coats and get them all back in.  But being inconvenienced is far better than losing my children.  And I guess it might be an over-reaction, except TWICE this year, a car was stolen with a baby/child in it in the small town in our county.  This town is tiny.  Yet, it still happened.  Children aren't always convenient...I made the decision to have children, so I made the decision to be slightly inconvenienced for a few minutes to bring them all in with me.  

[One_Girl]

I never have. I hated being left alone in the car when I was a kid and it really isn't safe most of the year. We have a few deaths a year because people take more than the few minutes they plan on and the temperature rises or falls more quickly than they think it will in the car. I wouldn't wait to call police if I saw children alone in a car because there is no way of knowing how long they have been there and the police may take a while to get there.

[Learning_Mum]

I do it every day. Kids are 6yo and 3yo. I have to go to the pharmacy every day to collect my medication and it's literally walk in and walk out, I also leave them in the car outside the dairy if I have to run in and get something. I'm the same as everyone else, I only leave them if I'm only going to be a couple of minutes and I can see the car while I'm in the shop. I take the keys out and set the alarm. I don't really worry about temperature here because it doesn't get super hot or super cold. If it is hot I'll leave all the windows down. I think the only reason anyone would be interested in my car is if I left my bag in there and I make sure I always take that with me to be on the safe side. Plus the car is an automatic so you can't knock it out of gear and if for some strange reason they took the break off (which I am 99% certain they would never do) it wouldn't roll anywhere.

[MrsBone]

the only time I leave the kids in the car is if I'm parked in my driveway and want to unload the car, or run inside to go to the bathroom, get something, etc. That's it. I've considered leaving them in the car stopping at the pharmacy, gas station, etc, but I always talk myself out of it. My gut says no!

[prothyraia]

Yes if:

   -I can see the car the whole time, or it's in my own driveway

   -I will be gone less than 5 minutes

   -It is cold out (or, say, under 60F if the car is in the driveway)

Never with the car running.  Never when I visit my family in the southern half of the US.

I am not wrangling three kids out of their car seats only to be faced with the decision to either run the kids through sub-zero weather with no coats to get inside or take an extra 10+ minutes to get them bundled up before exiting the vehicle (which I'm not sure is possible, actually).

[WindyCityMom]

No, no way in heck.

A few weeks ago I peered in a parked car and saw an infant in a FFing bucket there.   Alone.  Windows rolled up.  Called the cops.. I couldn't see if she was breathing.  Scariest moment in awhile.

[LynnS6]

I just did last week. Dd and I were on the way home from somewhere and I needed to stop and buy milk and bananas. She didn't want to come in, but wanted to stay in the car and read her book. It was a cloudy, rainy 45 degree day. She's 7 and fairly responsible. I locked the doors and left her there for the 10 minutes I was in the store. I don't think it's unsafe. The doors were locked so people couldn't get in. The car was not running. Dd stayed in the locked car the whole time. 10 minutes is about my max, and I'd never do it in the summer.

The last 6 months or so is when I felt comfortable leaving dd alone in a car for a few minutes while I dash in. I'd never do it with a toddler or preschooler. when I was 5, I knocked the car out of gear and it rolled down the hill. But then, that was back in the dark ages before car seats, or even seat belts.

[treegardner]

Here in CA it is illegal to leave a child 6 or younger unattended in the car, so I've never done it. I don't know at what age and under what circumstances I would feel comfortable leaving my child in the car. Too many bad things can happen for me to feel comfortable doing it. 

 

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by cristeen 

It really depends on the location.  At the gas station most places I can pay at the pump.  If it's a station I'm familiar with, and I have to go inside, and I can see the car then I'll leave him.  But if it's a strange place (so I don't know the layout and am not sure if I'll be able to see him), then I'll take him out. 

If I'm stopping at a taco truck, and can park right next to the truck, I'll leave him in the car (with a window down so I can hear him), since I'm never more than ~20 feet away. 

If he's sound asleep and I'm in my (or a friend's) driveway, or in front of my house, I'll run inside long enough to pee or grab a book, but then either sit in the car (if it's cold) or on the porch until he wakes up.  If the car's in the garage, I turn on the monitor and go upstairs. 

I'll leave him in the car if I'm just running to the drop box to drop a library book (double parked), or running to the mailbox to drop a letter.  But for the most part if I'm going inside someplace I take him with me.  I do usually leave him in the car while I go pay the meter though - around here our meters are usually 1 per block, so it's rarely next to the car, and you have to pay and then put the ticket on your dash, so dragging him along for that is a PITA. 

Pretty much this.  Common sense is key. 
 

[crunchy_mommy]

No, I wouldn't leave my kid in the car if I'm actually going into a building.

If I am going to stay outside the building (outdoor book drop at the library, for example) -- I'm OK with it, it's only 20 seconds and I take my keys with me. There may be a very small risk but really no more than when I buckle DS in and then load my cart of groceries into the trunk.

I don't leave him in the car in our driveway, though lots of my friends routinely do that. If DS falls asleep in the car, I either wake him up & take him in, or stay out in the car with him & read if I have the luxury of time. Occasionally I will run inside to grab something I forgot, but only if it will be super quick in & out, and I take the keys with me.

I wish they had curbside babysitting at some places though!! Except I can't imagine myself actually utilizing it if that existed. But it would be so convenient to run a quick errand and leave kiddo sleeping in the car or entertained by someone who will keep him safe.

My biggest reason against doing this is child abandonment laws, I simply don't want to take the risk that someone will report me & blow things out of proportion. But I do also worry about the car temperature, or car theft (not so much intentional kidnapping, though that is in the back of my mind too), or especially that DS will freak out when he realizes he's alone, because he totally will!! Also, my siblings & I were left in the car while my mom ran into a building, she much have left the car running to keep it warm or something like that, or maybe it was off & just started rolling, IDK, and the car started rolling out toward the busy multi-lane road behind us. She could see us the whole time but couldn't get out of the building fast enough and how would she stop a car herself? (Fortunately some men coming out of a nearby store were able to stop us before we reached the highway). So I don't have the best associations with being left in the car.

[sewchris2642]

I voted when they are responsible.  I don't leave kids in the car until they are out of carseats or are with a responsible older child who is not in a carseat.  But never in a situation where they couldn't get out of the car or roll down the windows.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by rubidoux 

I was so relieved when my older ds *finally* reached the age where he could get out of his buckles on his own. 

Me, too!

I started leaving ds in the car, with NO keys, IF he didn't have to cross any kind of parking lot to come find me (I could park up against the sidewalk), ONLY when he was extremely reluctant to come with me and I was only going to be a few minutes (post office) when he was 5. That was a situation where the people at the post office would have known who he belonged to and where he lived if something terrible did happen to me while he was in the car, plus he would have been able to walk home to Grandma in a true emergency (no busy streets to cross, even).

Now he is 10 and I'm comfortable leaving him in the car to pick up a few groceries but I'd still rather he not have to cross a parking lot so I only do that at small stores where I can park close, just in case he decides to come find me (which hasn't happened yet).
 

[csekywithlove]

Never. The only time I am not in the car with DSS is when I am standing beside the car pumping gas.

I just recently had a friend whose husband left her son (his step son) in the car at Walmart at night to run in for some cat food. It was around eleven at night and thirty degrees outside. Her son was asleep and fine, but someone saw and called the cops. Her husband was arrested on site and taken to jail. Now they have an open DCFS case. 

So yeah... It's just not something I would ever consider.

[NellieKatz]

I can see about 3 things wrong with what the guy did:

--11 at night

--thirty degrees

--WalMart (i.e. big store, longer trip)

Originally Posted by csekywithlove 

Never. The only time I am not in the car with DSS is when I am standing beside the car pumping gas.

I just recently had a friend whose husband left her son (his step son) in the car at Walmart at night to run in for some cat food. It was around eleven at night and thirty degrees outside. Her son was asleep and fine, but someone saw and called the cops. Her husband was arrested on site and taken to jail. Now they have an open DCFS case. 

So yeah... It's just not something I would ever consider.

[Thursday Girl]

I voted it depends.

• I do leave my sleeping toddler in the car with doors open and even the van trunk open while I sit on the front porch and read. I also will occasionally run into the house to use the restroom or grab a drink and then head right back outside.
• I leave my sleeping toddler in the car at my girls very small school that is located in a residential neighborhood down a long driveway. I leave the doors open. I will leave her and sit with the teacher while the big girls play and I can see the car, I leave her while I clean the campus but come back often to see if she is awake and I will leave her while I run into the school to pick the girls up if they have already gone inside.
• I have left all 3 girls in the car while I run into a store with full windows to pick up and pay for a pizza we already ordered and it is ready. I can see the car the whole time and it is locked and off.

[csekywithlove]

Originally Posted by NellieKatz 

I can see about 3 things wrong with what the guy did:

--11 at night

--thirty degrees

--WalMart (i.e. big store, longer trip)

Exactly. I hate it for my friend but this isn't the first time that something has happened to her son while in the care of his step father. I just have to listen and give the best advice possible.

[Veritas Vitae]

Two car stories.  

1) My mom once left all 5 of us kids in the minivan when I was around 6 to run into the store and quickly pick up some things, in a not a dangerous or risky situation, small town, local market, windows in the front.  My siblings were 6, 8, 10, and 12.  All of my siblings were in the back seats and I was sitting in the driver's seat pretending to drive when I realized that there was a man sitting in the car next to us staring at us.  I looked over trying to figure out what he was holding in his hand, and I remember him making eye contact with me holding something in his lap and jiggling it.  I couldn't figure it out so I asked my brother (the 12 year old).  It was vein-y and red and my brother figured out that it was his penis.  He was sitting in the car looking at us playing and masturbating.  So even if you're kids are responsible, you don't know what other people are going to do.  That was the last time my mother ever left us in the car.

2) Prior to that, when I was around 4 or 5, my mom was in a friend's front yard chatting and my sister and I were playing in the car.  I was pretending to drive, and even though it was an automatic, not a stick, when I switched the gears into "R" (I didn't know what it stood for) the car started rolling down the driveway.  My twin sister was on top of the van and my mother freaked out.  I was terrified when the car started rolling and moved it back into "P".  Luckily nothing bad happened, but it was a very scary situation.

So I guess you never know what is going to happen, and you certainly can't control what happens beyond your car, your kids. 

[trekkingirl]

A few months back I heard a story on the local news about this situation. The mother had left a sleeping newborn baby in her car and went in a grocery store. Someone in the parking lot decided to steal her car not knowing that there was a baby in the back! Apparently when the baby woke up and started crying the guy realized he had just kidnapped a newborn baby and ditched the car in a very obvious pull off on a major highway so the baby would be found right away. The baby was fine but can you imagine how that story might have ended very differently, I can!