Do you leave your kids in the car? - Page 5

[AbbyGrant]

Originally Posted by miriam 

I did it once.  I had three LOs in carseats.  I parked, turned off the motor, rolled down the window an inch, locked the doors and walked a few steps to an ATM. My children could see me and I could see them. A police car drove up and gave me a ticket for child endangerment. Great. Story of my life.

Statistically speaking, I'd lay money that your children would have been at greater or at least equal risk getting in and out of the car, walking to and from the ATM, and waiting at the ATM while you withdrew money.  I'd be curious what the outcome of the ticket was since I do this all the time.  

[averysmomma05]

I do if  I need to run back into my house BUT we live down a 2 mile dirt road with only family around on our land. Never in a public place.My girls are 4 and 6

[rubidoux]

Originally Posted by miriam 

My husband did it all the time - ALL the time. 

I did it once.  I had three LOs in carseats.  I parked, turned off the motor, rolled down the window an inch, locked the doors and walked a few steps to an ATM. My children could see me and I could see them. A police car drove up and gave me a ticket for child endangerment. Great. Story of my life.

Originally Posted by AbbyGrant 

Statistically speaking, I'd lay money that your children would have been at greater or at least equal risk getting in and out of the car, walking to and from the ATM, and waiting at the ATM while you withdrew money.  I'd be curious what the outcome of the ticket was since I do this all the time.  

OMG!  That is so crazy!  I was going to say the same.  The children were probably much safer in the car.  Unbelievable!  I'm sorry that happened to you.  

[member234098]

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Edited by member234098 - 5/27/12 at 1:44pm

[AbbyGrant]

Originally Posted by miriam 

It was years ago. I shared the story with my parenting group at the time. My children are now grown.

Outcome of the ticket?  The policeman is always right, don't you know?  It was a small town and I have not done any business in that place since. My own personal boycott.

That's terrible. I admire your boycott. I'm really hoping the police in my town have better things to do because I can't imagine dragging my kids up to the ATM with me.  Maybe my tinted windows will come in handy.  

[Honey693]

I do if I can see the car and it's only a few minutes.  Our bank has an ATM where you have to park, walk 8 steps and go the atm.  You can't just drive up.  I take the keys and do it.  I'll also park and run books to the library book drop (we don't have drive up ones here) or park in a friends' driveway and run up to the door to drop something off.  I feel perfectly fine doing those.

[lotusblossom5]

The first ting I will say is that I have been fortunate enough to learn not to judge others without having a tragedy. My mom had cancer and I had to ttake her to an appointment on a day that my infant son was home sick. My aunt was also with us. I dropped the two of them at the door, parked and met them inside. We sat tgere chatting and all of a sudden my aunt exclaimed, "oh my God, the baby!" It was in Phoenix in June and thankfully a mild day. He had been in tgere for about a half hour just before noon. He had been crying and he was hot but praise whoever you want to praise he was fine. It was not the normal routine and I was so worried about my mom. I've seen reports previously where kids had died and was very judgemental. I never thought it could happen to he because I was a "good mom." Good moms screw up sometimes, too. Though I still have guilt feelings over whhat could have happened, I am so thankful it's simply a bad memory of a mistake rather than something I have to live with everyday.

[lotusblossom5]

The first ting I will say is that I have been fortunate enough to learn not to judge others without having a tragedy. My mom had cancer and I had to ttake her to an appointment on a day that my infant son was home sick. My aunt was also with us. I dropped the two of them at the door, parked and met them inside. We sat tgere chatting and all of a sudden my aunt exclaimed, "oh my God, the baby!" It was in Phoenix in June and thankfully a mild day. He had been in tgere for about a half hour just before noon. He had been crying and he was hot but praise whoever you want to praise he was fine. It was not the normal routine and I was so worried about my mom. I've seen reports previously where kids had died and was very judgemental. I never thought it could happen to he because I was a "good mom." Good moms screw up sometimes, too. Though I still have guilt feelings over whhat could have happened, I am so thankful it's simply a bad memory of a mistake rather than something I have to live with everyday.

[aHikaru]

I only leave my babe in the car when I have to run back in the house and grab something. Otherwise, she's with me all the time, I chose to have a child and chose to be 100 percent committed to taking care of her, anything that happens ( even if she trips on a rock ), is my fault and I love having her around me all the time, so there is no reason why I wouldn't bring her with me everywhere.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by cassandraz 

I only leave my babe in the car when I have to run back in the house and grab something. Otherwise, she's with me all the time, I chose to have a child and chose to be 100 percent committed to taking care of her, anything that happens ( even if she trips on a rock ), is my fault and I love having her around me all the time, so there is no reason why I wouldn't bring her with me everywhere.

Umm...how old is your dd? Because my ds is 3yo, and he has fallen down several times (ok, more than several) when it wasn't my fault at all. He runs into walls, when he was right at table height he would hit his head on the table, I mean, kids get hurt. They fall down. It's part of being a kid and learning to pick yourself back up and learn to watch where you're going. You can't take 100% responsibility for every single thing that happens to your kid until they turn 18.

I just don't get your post.

[aHikaru]

I was answering the question and making a reference to the post, I take responsibility for what happens to my daughter by making it better, if something worse than an injury should happen to my daughter while being left in a car, I am responsible. My overall consensus on the subject was that if you choose to leave your children in the car, you are responsible for what happens to them in the car while your gone, as with everything else that happens to them throughout their life.

I understand your opinion, I'm not a helicopter mom, so my DD definitely falls a lot, but when she does I don't blame myself, I just find a way to help her to not fall again and in most cases it is my role, as a mother, to have my eyes on her and keep her safe. 

[trekkingirl]

lotusblossom5 welcome to MDC!

I wanted to offer hugs and just say thanks for sharing your experience. We all think those situations couldn't happen to us. Truth is we're all human.

[FinNinjaKix]

I have a friend who would leave her son in the car all the time, especially if he was sleeping.  I can't imagine doing that with my babies....ever.  She always used the reasoning that odds were very low of anything bad happening.  But I look at it this way...you wouldn't leave piles of money laying on the seat in plain view because, even though most people are good, honest people, it still might get stolen.  So why would you take that chance with your priceless child???

[AbbyGrant]

Originally Posted by FinNinjaKix 

I have a friend who would leave her son in the car all the time, especially if he was sleeping.  I can't imagine doing that with my babies....ever.  She always used the reasoning that odds were very low of anything bad happening.  But I look at it this way...you wouldn't leave piles of money laying on the seat in plain view because, even though most people are good, honest people, it still might get stolen.  So why would you take that chance with your priceless child???

Because most people are far more interested in stealing a pile of money than a sleeping kid. 

[FinNinjaKix]

Originally Posted by AbbyGrant 

Because most people are far more interested in a pile of money than in a sleeping kid. 

True, most people are.  But there are some out there who are more interested in a sleeping kid than in the pile of money.  However low the risk, we're talking about my child's life here.

I know that as a mother I will need to let my children take some risks in life when it is important for their social or emotional development.  With my oldest now being 8 years old and routinely asserting her independence, I struggle with this already.  But I simply don't see this as one of those risks worth taking.  I take those risks that better my child in some way, not the ones that are purely for my own convenience.

[AbbyGrant]

Originally Posted by FinNinjaKix 

True, most people are.  But there are some out there who are more interested in a sleeping kid than in the pile of money.  However low the risk, we're talking about my child's life here.

There are risks everywhere.  Removing my children from the car every time I get out doesn't remove all risk. I think being strapped in their car seats in a parked car with the windows cracked and no keys is safer at times than getting out.  And I just can't get all worked up about the infinitesimal that they might be abducted from my parked car considering that I just had them in a moving vehicle which is the single greatest risk they face.  

Originally Posted by FinNinjaKix 

I take those risks that better my child in some way, not the ones that are purely for my own convenience.

I don't leave my kids in the car as solely for my own convenience.  They are much happier there than being dragged out of the car to go to the ATM or so I can run back in the house to get something I forgot or to pee.  And my son is definitely happier for being able to finish his snooze in the parked car in the driveway than to be hauled out and into the house.  

 

You're certainly free to do what you like, and I'm not trying to convince you to do otherwise, but you asked.

[mamazee]

I don't really think there's anything wrong with doing something for convenience if there isn't a significant risk. But if my kid wants to come with me, I let her. If she stays in the car, it's becasue she doesn't want to be bothered to come out for the two minutes I'll be in the store.

[Smithie]

Dropping something off in a strip-mall store or Post Office with big windows, when I can park right out front? Sure.

Running back into the house for a forgotten item? Sure.

Walking a few steps to a non-drive-up ATM? Sure.

Other than that, it bothers me. And obviously I turn the car off and lock all doors. It won't help me much that I can see the car at all times if what I see a carjacker hopping into it and driving away! 

[mamatoablessing]

Originally Posted by cassandraz 

I only leave my babe in the car when I have to run back in the house and grab something. Otherwise, she's with me all the time, I chose to have a child and chose to be 100 percent committed to taking care of her, anything that happens ( even if she trips on a rock ), is my fault and I love having her around me all the time, so there is no reason why I wouldn't bring her with me everywhere.

Are you telling me that when my 7yo trips coming off the bus steps at school that this is somehow my fault? Are you also saying that by choosing to have a child and not being with them 100% time that it is somehow poor parenting? Does your daughter nap? Does she sleep at night and do you sleep with her at all times? Does she bathe with you everytime you bathe? Does she sit in the bathroom with you when you're on the pot? Will she ever go to school? Will you ever have to work? Will you ever be alone with your partner? What will happen when you have another child? Who will get 100% of your attention then? It's pretty easy to see that you only have one kid, and she's still pretty young. Careful about the judgemental tone. One day down the road, whether it's next week or next year, you'll want and need to be alone. I can almost guarantee it.

[vermontgirl]

My kids are 3 and 5 and I do not leave them in the car. The only situation that has ever been appropriate was an outdoor farm stand where I was able to grab some veggies quickly right next to my car. I turned the car off and locked it even though I was right there outside.

I can't imagine them being old enough to leave them alone in the car. They will probably be 8 and 10 when I think they are responsible enough to sit by themselves.