Having a boy and thought I was sure I wouldn't circ but.... - Page 3

[ambivamom]

I also wanted to add that I think probably people post here to get that reassurance *before* they go to the doctor, so they are armed with something to say when the doctor starts on with some stupid unscientific sh*t about the penis.  It's hard for some people to just talk back or ask the right questions, and when you are dealing with something that is hit-or-miss as to whether your ped will know how to care for the intact penis, it helps to know before you haul the child off to the doctor 1)whether you need to at all, and 2)what to ask about when you are there.

[liberal_chick]

My dh is 29, my ds1 is 6.5, my ds2 is almost 3, and my ds3 is 16 months.  No problems all the way around.  My cousin has a circ'd son the same age as my ds2 that required a circ revision.  My grandmother (who keeps him while my cousin works) talked about the pain he was in for weeks after the revision.  And that doesn't even take into account the pain he was in after the first circ.

[*MamaJen*]

My son is four and we've never had any problems! We live in Texas too. I'd say about half of little boys I know are circumcised and half aren't. Our pediatrician is very mainstream and she didn't bat an eye about us not circing.

[tri31]

Hope you don't mind, but no one else has mentioned the emotional reprecussions, of a circumcision. As more and more neurological studies become available the idea that our babies are not harmed in the long term by this procedure comes into question. I read this in psychology today from an artical about letting a "baby cry it out". Just that is proving to be harmful for newborns, I can't even imagine....

Neurons die. When the baby is greatly distressed, the toxic hormone cortisol is released (It's a neuron killer Panksepp, 1998). A full-term baby (40-42 weeks), with only 25% of its brain developed, is undergoing rapid brain growth. The brain grows on average three times as large by the end of the first year (and head size growth in the first year is a sign of intelligence, e.g., Gale et al., 2006). Who knows what neurons are not being connected or being wiped out during times of extreme stress? What deficits might show up years later from such regular distressful experience? (See my addendum below.)

Disordered stress reactivity can be established as a pattern for life not only in the brain with the stress response system (Bremmer et al, 1998), but also in the body through the vagus nerve, a nerve that affects functioning in multiple systems (e.g., digestion). For example, prolonged distress in early life, resulting in a poorly functioning vagus nerve, is related disorders as irritable bowel syndrome (Stam et al, 1997). See more about how early stress is toxic for lifelong health from the recent Harvard report, The Foundations of Lifelong Health are Built in Early Childhood).

Self-regulation is undermined. The baby is absolutely dependent on caregivers for learning how to self-regulate. Responsive care---meeting the baby's needs before he gets distressed---tunes the body and brain up for calmness. When a baby gets scared and a parent holds and comforts him, the baby builds expectations for soothing, which get integrated into the ability to self comfort. Babies don't self-comfort in isolation. If they are left to cry alone, they learn to shut down in face of extensive distress--stop growing, stop feeling, stop trusting (Henry & Wang, 1998).

And of course no one in our family has circumcised our sons (also our sons cousins) no one has ever had any issues.

[Louplus2]

Hi,

I have been reading these posts for the past few weeks now. I am so surprised at the struggle that women are having over whether to circumcise their sons.

I do not understand why anyone would want to put their precious newborn son, who has been nurtured in their belly, through that kind of a procedure all for the sake of conventionality, embarrasment etc.

I am in the UK, this just does not simply happen in this country. I have 2 DS's, one at 2yrs and one at 5 months, obviously intact, my DP is intact. All of the men in our families are intact as far as I am aware. There are no issues or have there been.

Please do not be scared of an intact penis, I have not had to worry about either of my sons. It is a NORMAL, NATURAL part of the body. Just like your own private parts.

It is such a shame that something as joyful as bringing a child into the world has this element of struggle. I am sorry for all of you that are having to deal with this. I honestly wish you love and kindness.

[allisonrose]

I have two intact sons and never a real issue. My 3 y/o has had a touch of redness now and again. But as PP has pointed out girls have genital issues as well. A circed boy could have complications that can affect him for the rest of his life.

My hubby is also intact and as far as I am aware has never experienced any problems as a result.

[hakunangovi]

Originally Posted by tri31 

Hope you don't mind, but no one else has mentioned the emotional reprecussions, of a circumcision. As more and more neurological studies become available the idea that our babies are not harmed in the long term by this procedure comes into question.

This is an issue that, sadly has recieved little attention from the medical community.  Obviously they don't want to know!

However, there are a few people who recognise the potential for psychological damage and have written about it. Check out: www.cirp.org/library/psych/  .  In the references section one can read quite a few papers concerning this issue.

Another one is:  www.norm.uk.org/circumcision_psychological_effects.html  .

I have had conversations around this with a therapist that I know, who acknowleged that circumcision may well induce Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in some males who have been circumcised (and also female victims of FGM).

[philomom]

Originally Posted by hakunangovi 


This is an issue that, sadly has recieved little attention from the medical community.  Obviously they don't want to know!

However, there are a few people who recognise the potential for psychological damage and have written about it. Check out: www.cirp.org/library/psych/  .  In the references section one can read quite a few papers concerning this issue.

Another one is:  www.norm.uk.org/circumcision_psychological_effects.html  .

I have had conversations around this with a therapist that I know, who acknowleged that circumcision may well induce Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in some males who have been circumcised (and also female victims of FGM).

Yep, here's one that suggests the cut fellows can have a personalty disorder.

http://intactnews.org/node/131/1316710012/study-links-circumcision-personality-trait-disorder

[Ellien C]

Just saying I have a nearly 2 yo boy with no issues at all. DH was kind of pro-circ but not enough to be really active about it. I kind of "delayed" the decision to do it - I never brought it up in the hospital and he sort of forgot about it. Then when he remembered, he agreed that since we hadn't talked in great detail, we could get it done later. He finally ended up asking our Ped at the 5-day check-up or something. Again, I never brought it up. We had left the appt and we in the car when he remembered. I encouraged him to go back in and ask about it while I waited with the already buckled baby in the car. Dunno what the ped said, but DH came back and said it was OK to leave baby boy as is! 

Funny story is that I'm not Jewish, but send my son to a Jewish day care. He has a "kind of Jewish" first name. There was a program there and the director remarked that with his name, they would think he was Jewish. I said that's OK - once they see his penis they'll know he isn't and we all had a chuckle. Anyway, my point is that I'm also in the mid-west, at a Jewish day are and the lack of circumcision is just not an issue at all for us. Again, people only post here when there are problems. 

[birthprep4u]

Please do not circ your baby boy. I have 2 intact sons and they are fine. It is when you mess with it that problems come up. Just never ever try to retract it on him and you will be fine. There is really nothing to do. And you will save your baby from trauma. Sexual trauma from having his foreskin cut off. Which btw is extremely painful to the baby.

I have this link that I would like to share. I have to go and find it.

Carolyn

AAHCC, The Bradley Method TM

[Peony]

I know very few boys that have been circed and those that have, often had problems.One friend of mine had 3 boys, all circed, all had problems. I can't remember the story with the first one, the second had a blotched circ, had to have it redone and it still isn't "right". The 3rd ended up in the hospital several days after the circ because of bleeding, yes his penis was still bleeding then. I have two boys, no issues with their intactness. My toddler boy does not leave his penis alone, it is tugged on ALL day long. One of my girls did have labial adhesions. 

[birthprep4u]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Lm396q8KA

Watch this before you decide to circ your newborn baby boy.

Hope this was helpful

Carolyn

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by birthprep4u 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-Lm396q8KA

Watch this before you decide to circ your newborn baby boy.

Hope this was helpful

Carolyn

hiya, carolyn.

welcome to TCAC!  thanks for weighing in.

speaking for at least myself, i have nightmares for watching circ videos.  what's in the video?  and if you post any potentially graphic links in the future, would you please give us a warning if it may be graphic/upsetting/etc?  i'd appreciate it! ;-)

best wishes,

sus

[philomom]

Originally Posted by mama24-7 

hiya, carolyn.

welcome to TCAC!  thanks for weighing in.

speaking for at least myself, i have nightmares for watching circ videos.  what's in the video?  and if you post any potentially graphic links in the future, would you please give us a warning if it may be graphic/upsetting/etc?  i'd appreciate it! ;-)

best wishes,

sus

Nope, it was the deconstruction of some poor arguments used on The Doctors tv show. Nothing graphic at all.

[Anastasiya]

If you hang around other parenting boards, you'll soon find that circumcised boys have hosts of problems discussed there, too. Everything from adhesions, to tears, hidden penis, looking like they were never circumcised to begin with, pain upon erection, skin bridges, redness and infection, swelling and of course - meatal stenosis.

I have three intact boys. Never a problem. Not once.

[DJay]

Originally Posted by philomom 


Nope, it was the deconstruction of some poor arguments used on The Doctors tv show. Nothing graphic at all.

Video is 'clean'. Just pointing out the stupid reasons that this group of doctors use to talk about circumcision.  Nothing graphic. Actually rather stupid. And that makes the doctors look stupid.

[Dan Bollinger]

Lady of Slytherin,  This will help. You and your hubby should take the decision tour at Circumcision Decision-Maker website. It will answer all your questions and concerns and give you some expert advice.