breaking the rules behind my back

[mami2f3]

I'm so livid and disappointed and I don't know what to do. The guy who runs the after school program just let me know that as he was leaving he saw my boys, 8 and 10, drinking sodas. He said it's not the first time. My kids are not allowed to have sodas...pretty much at all. I have allowed a rootbeer float about 2 times a year and they've had a gingerale a few times (well, that I had known of...). But mostly, they don't get soda. So not only did they get one, behind my back, but how? Okay they may have a bit of money, BUT kids aren't allowed to get soda at school. The only machine is in the teachers lounge. Kids aren't allowed in the teacher's lounge. The guy told me that apparently the soda machine is broken so when you buy one soda it spits out more like a jackpot. How exciting! But it's in the teachers lounge and they can't have soda!!

Okay, so enough rant. 

What do I do? What is the consequence for this? 

[Mom31]

Well... maybe they bribed or traded their friends to bring it.

[Mom31]

I think this is a big case of the forbidden fruit.

I would explain to them your reasons behind not wanting them to have soda and explain to them that sneaking around is not ok.  I would probably make them do a paper on the evils of soda or something.

[LynnS6]

How did kids get into the teacher's lounge?

Where was the supervision?

Who bought the soda?

How often  has this happened?

I'd start with the principal and work my way down. Honestly, I'd be much more worried about the supervision than the pop at this point in time. You can explain to your kids again why you don't drink those kinds of drinks, and remind them that they are a 'special occasion' food. You can then grill them about supervision.

[Imakcerka]

Oh man.  DD1 can not have soda at all either.  She and sugar are a terrible mix.  You can always tell when she has one.  I would let them know you know. 

Eh,  good luck mama.

[mary934]

What are your concerns about ' soda ' . If we want our kids to take into account our concerns we need as others have said explain to them the issue. At the same time we need to ask them about their concerns with not being able to have soda and then find a mutually satisfying solution.  Successful dieters are the ones who have healthy alternatives. Consequences actually have the opposite effect - kids hear the message - i am now suffering because mom is unfair, she eats unhealthy stuff, next time I should not get caught. 

we have little control over kids , all we can do is help them become more committed to the value of healthy eating because it is good for them and they find it satisfying and pleasurable.

Mary

[Sarasyn]

Honestly, when I was a kid and my mom said I couldn't have something, if I didn't understand her reasons (or just plain didn't agree with them) I always found a way.  I wouldn't just look at the teacher's lounge as the only option.  I would worry about other kids at school.  After all, if they have a little bit of money, they could always pay one of the school kids to bring them an extra soda.  Or if there's a convenience store on their way to or from school, they could always buy it there.  Unfortunately, with something so common and easily accessible, it's really hard to determine the source.

As for how to deal with it, I have to agree with finding out why they did it.  Maybe they don't see what's so bad about an occasional soda.  A lot of kids have soda at school, so why can everyone else when they can't?  Maybe they just don't see it as being that unhealthy in moderation.  There's any number of reasons they may want to drink soda.  It might even be peer pressure because everyone else is doing it.  It's impossible to stop the behavior without knowing why it takes place to begin with.

Once you know what's causing them to break your rules, it'll be a lot easier to come to a resolution.  That could be anything from teaching them why you believe soda is so bad (and then, ideally, letting them make their own conscious decision about it) to helping them cope with the peer pressure to conform at school.  It's much easier to come up with a plan of action once you know where the real root of the problem is.