or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Life With a Baby › February 2012 Whatever Ladies and Babies
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

February 2012 Whatever Ladies and Babies - Page 6

post #101 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post


hug2.gifJJ. That's so hard! If I were in that position, I would seriously be looking for another ped. If my child is in pain, someone needs to give me something to help her. I fought that fight when they were ready to discharge DD and she was still having at least one severe pain episode every day. I made them give me four doses of narcotic pain medicine to take home because damned if I was going to have her screaming in pain and only able to give her ibuprofen. Nope. Don't mess with this mama bear and my child in pain. Same fight I had with her pedi about zantac. He tried to hem and haw and say well she doesn't have all the symptoms of reflux. My response? I don't care. I know she's in pain and it's her stomach. I know the aspirin is hurting it but we can't stop it. Give me the prescription. I do make sure that all our docs know up front that I have a relatively good handle on medical issues and if I'm asking you for something, it's not done lightly and I need you to respect my opinion/request. Our doctors so far have been great about that. The one that wasn't is no longer my doc.

 


truedat.gif

 

post #102 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

I think genetics has a lot to do with how anyone reacts to medications. The problem is we don't know enough to know who will react. Even if we did, the testing would be so expensive and possibly intensive that it would be difficult to test everyone. but, i think that's because it's unnatural. i think it's much less likely for someone to become gravely ill from an illness because of genetics, if that makes sense, except for those diseases that are genetically caused, of course.
or was the question about getting sick with common viruses? i think that has more to do with general health, nutrition and stress levels. stress is a major factor in illness because it causes the body to be constantly flooded with chemicals that reduce the immune system.

I know I was mostly referring to illnesses, not disease, and I agree, I think it's mostly general health, nutrition, stress, etc, but I do think there is a genetic component as well. 


Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

O.K. I need you guys to give me your honest opinions on something. Promise? Here's the deal. I am not pumping enough milk to meet DD's daily intake needs now. I use about 6 oz every 24 hours out of my freezer stash. It's going to be gone soon. I'm trying to increase my output. I'm pumping every time DD eats, even if it's every hour. When I'm at work, I pump every two hours, sometimes more frequently. I can't always double-pump though and I know that would help me build up my supply. I'm taking the max amount of fenugreek. I haven't been able to get to Whole Foods to buy the alfalfa but I'm going to do that this weekend. So here's my issue. If/When I run out of my freezer stash, do I push solids? Or do I supplement w/formula? Or do I try to find goat's milk and give it to her? Please tell me honestly what you would do in that situation. I'm not giving up, I'm still trying to rebuild my supply. It was there before so I know I can do it. But what if I can't keep up with her?

My first option if I could get DH on board would be to look for donor milk. I know it all depends on community, but I never realized how accessible donor milk is in some areas. I recently joined a local attachment parenting group, and the amount of milk-sharing makes me so proud of our little community. There's one gay couple that from what I can gather, are still managing to use exclusively breastmilk for their son, all through donations. 

 

That said, I know in some areas it's not practical, or possible, and I know for us, DH would balk at the idea, as I've brought it up before.  I would probably end up going to formula, and just put a lot of thought into which one I thought was best. But that said-- total agreement that you should feel no shame or defeat in what you've done! Pumping for that long is nothing short of mind-blowing to me, and you should be so proud for what you've given her!

post #103 of 407

AnnieA - I would donate were I close enough! I offered for one mama in a situation similiar to yours, but she never followed up.

 

I also think that your mental health and need to sleep are important too; and while you can nurse in your sleep - or at least doze - I don't know the same is true for pumping. If it were me; I'd look at milk donations (humanmilkforhumanbabies has local facebook pages you can send out a request for milk. there's also milkbank.com I think) First, and if that's not possible, I'd look into good formulas. They exist. Nestle (I think it's GoodStart) Organic ones, etc. I've heard people rave about Goat's milk and other people say it's not that much different. up to you, really. You can try encouraging solids - but unless you are really into tons of spoonfeeding, she's still going to get the most and best nutrition from some sort of milk until she's 1.

 

JJ: that doc!!!! why can't you do both? get the Zantac or Prevacid (I have heard from IRL friends that Prevacid works far better) and do an elimination diet. Why must it be one or the other? can you get a new ped? and fast! I also don't like scare tactics in re: to vaccines. (or anything, really)

 

AFU: it was an ehn sort of night. I know DS woke at least once (again, so grateful that DH had no problems and voluntarily took over the night time parenting there! otherwise I'd just give up and have DS back in our bed, which really would make nobody very happy.)

 

How do you know if a child - especially a toddler - is having growing pains? a couple IRL friends have mentioned that their toddlers are having growing pains and gave them Tylenol, etc. I don't recall having growing pains myself. If Gabe were really in pain, I would want to ease it, but I'm not going to medicate him just because he's cranky and wakeful. ideas?

 

DD on the other hand is easy-peasy in comparison. LOL

post #104 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninejessica View Post

And then I brought the reflux up, and I feel kind of like I got blown off. She wouldn't prescribe the meds, and I definitely got the impression that she's not convinced it's true reflux, and not just her overfeeding/not being upright after feeds. So she wants me to go off dairy for 3 weeks (which I knew I needed to try anyways, I've just been avoiding it...) and to try keeping her upright after feeds and keeping as much time in between eating and sleeping as possible. Which is all well and good-- but we've been doing it, and it doesn't make any difference! When she smells like sour acid 75% of the time, and is randomly shrieking and then puking 30 seconds later... I don't think that's simply her stomach being overfilled, she has a problem, and trust me, we've tried to fix it, but I do think it's time for meds. And so now we have to wait another three weeks before trying something. And I'm angry about it, because I'm so effing tired of her shrieking and being hysterical all the time, and somewhere in my head I was hopeful that it was all a result of the reflux and that after being on meds she would be magically better. Optimistic I know, but I needed something to cling to!


I've heard about doctors being like this.  Ugh, JJ, idk what to tell you.  Maybe don't even give it the whole 3 weeks.  Maybe just go back in a few days and lay it all out on the table?  I'm so sorry, that's got to be frustrating to finally feel like ok, she's got this, we need her to have medicine...and then the dr won't give it to you???  Redic.  I agree with the PP who said if they won't prescribe, it, get rid of that doc.

 

FWIW, I did the EDs while Finn was on the zantac, like Kat was saying.  Geez, I had been completely off dairy for 2 weeks when we went IN for the meds!!  I dont think theres any reason to be completely off anything and then start medication.  Sh'es obv in pain.  
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

O.K. I need you guys to give me your honest opinions on something. Promise? Here's the deal. I am not pumping enough milk to meet DD's daily intake needs now. I use about 6 oz every 24 hours out of my freezer stash. It's going to be gone soon. I'm trying to increase my output. I'm pumping every time DD eats, even if it's every hour. When I'm at work, I pump every two hours, sometimes more frequently. I can't always double-pump though and I know that would help me build up my supply. I'm taking the max amount of fenugreek. I haven't been able to get to Whole Foods to buy the alfalfa but I'm going to do that this weekend. So here's my issue. If/When I run out of my freezer stash, do I push solids? Or do I supplement w/formula? Or do I try to find goat's milk and give it to her? Please tell me honestly what you would do in that situation. I'm not giving up, I'm still trying to rebuild my supply. It was there before so I know I can do it. But what if I can't keep up with her?

 

Honestly, I would find a good organic formula and supplement.  I would keep pumping as much as I still can/want/need to give her milk, too, but I would fill in all the gaps with formula.  Solids are great, they're fun, but with a little baby who can't be counted on to take in enough calories/nutrition with a few bites here and there, she needs to have something else.

 

I do not see this as you giving up.  Hell, seriously?  You could stop pumping and switch to formula 100% and I wouldn't see that as "giving up"!  Look what you've already done!!

 

Didn't you post something about "breastfeeding failure" being a misnomer?  How can you fail at something that doesn't have a built in end point?  There is nothing to be ashamed of or to defend.

 

Do you think you'll get to the point of 100% formula in a bottle?  What if you did 50/50 or so until she got used to the taste?

 

Don't think about the what if right now.  Deal with today and tomorrow.  And then the next day.  Chances are you'll make it quite a few more months with some supplementation here and there. You'll have good output days and bad ones.  Some days she'll eat a ton of solids and some days she won't.  Whatever happens, you know that she is happy, healthy, (HEALTHY!!!), and loves you unconditionally.  


 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninejessica View Post
 

My first option if I could get DH on board would be to look for donor milk. I know it all depends on community, but I never realized how accessible donor milk is in some areas. 



This is a good point but I think even in my heart of hearts, I couldn't do it.  Knowing there were preemies or sick babies, or even just newborns that could be using the milk, I don't know if I personally could take that donated milk for my giant chunk of a baby who is almost ready for solids.  That's just my personal opinion.  

post #105 of 407
I love you guys! I knew I could count on you to give it to me straight. I know intellectually that I've done a good thing for DD by pumping these last 6.5 months. I guess my issues come in because I feel like I was a "lazy" pumper before and I took having enough milk for granted. I've given away probably 75 oz to other babies. Between the babysitter and DH, a lot has been wasted. I guess I'm thinking DD is going to suffer somehow because I wasn't being responsible. I had forgotten about the milk donation group on FB. I have to do some more thinking about donor milk. Not sure where I stand on accepting.
post #106 of 407
Thread Starter 
There is no such thing as breastfeeding failure! winky.gif

Annie ~ i think what is happening with you is very normal. pumping cannot keep up milk supply the way nursing at the breast does. If I remember correctly, I've read that milk supply starts to drop around 4-6 months when not nursing on demand. You've been doing the best you can and you've done an amazing and wonderful thing for Ava already. Many women would not have been able to do it or stick with it like you have.

I'd look into milk donation if you're comfortable with that. Otherwise, I think you'll need formula but maybe you can get by with less if you get Ava eating more solids. Not Nestle products, though, please. They are so evil with their infant formula marketing. There's been a boycott of all Nestle products for years because of it.

JJ ~ Can you get a 2nd opinion? That doctor isn't a pediatrician, right? She's a GP or FP. I normally prefer a more generalized doctor but maybe it's time to see a doctor who specializes in babies.

i'm still not getting notifications so i'm going to complain.
post #107 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

I love you guys! I knew I could count on you to give it to me straight. I know intellectually that I've done a good thing for DD by pumping these last 6.5 months. I guess my issues come in because I feel like I was a "lazy" pumper before and I took having enough milk for granted. I've given away probably 75 oz to other babies. Between the babysitter and DH, a lot has been wasted. I guess I'm thinking DD is going to suffer somehow because I wasn't being responsible. I had forgotten about the milk donation group on FB. I have to do some more thinking about donor milk. Not sure where I stand on accepting.


You were doing the best you could at the time.  The milk was there in abundance and you took advantage of that.  I don't see that as careless at all.

And honestly if you do supplement a little, the not having to stress over every ounce might help you produce more.  Just a thought.

post #108 of 407

You guys are making me feel better about only breastfeeding for 9 months. I was to embarrassed to admit that she had completely weaned bag.gif I am still not sure why I couldn't produce milk at all even with supplementing..........I guess 9 months was just to late to start a pumping output with my body.

 

You know what else is weird? I never leak.....not even in the beginning. I have never even ONCE had a nursing pad on. Strange huh? I do know I make enough milk when a baby actually nurses though.

 

So, I love Greys Anatomy. They have featured baby wearing at least 3 or 4 times, and now they just were having a baby in the bed. I don't know why this makes me happy - but it does lol.gif

post #109 of 407
Annie you were also dealing with a baby that refused to nurse. And some women just don't "bond" with the pump. I was very lucky in that asect. I don't leak either, haven't since about 7-8 weeks PP, but since I've been pumping more, I will notice wet spots on my shirt randomly. So far today I've been able to pump everything DD needs and haven't had to pull from the freezer. I'm nannying tonight so I might try to do some power pumping after the boys are in bed if my nips can handle it.
post #110 of 407
Thread Starter 
annie ~ I think you had a lot going on that was working against nursing. Not that you were doing anything wrong. I do think that going back to work plays a big part in cutting the nursing relationship short. It's unfortunate that so many women have to go back to work after having a baby before they are biologically ready.

One thing I learned in my studies of evolution, genetics and animal behavior and believe is that no one can express any traits or characteristics without a genetic predisposition to it. That means that you cannot get sick from something unless you have a genetic component that makes you susceptible to that whatever it is, virus or bacteria or toxin. Since all people share the same genetic makeup, most people are susceptible to the same illnesses and diseases. There is a small percentage of people who are immune to such things, even HIV. There is something in their genetic makeup that is different from the norm that makes them immune.

I am not saying that we are slaves to our genetics, though. Our environment controls the expression of most of our genes. Some are fixed like hair and eye color but how most other traits, including personality, are expressed depends on the environment one is exposed to. That's where nutrition and stress come in to play and one reason I think vaccines are dangerous. I'm simplifying things a lot. The way in which genes and the environment interact is very complex.
post #111 of 407

I'm not about to brag but I need to share.  I think Finn slept from 12-530 am w/o nursing.  My boob felt like a rock hard bag of marbles when I woke up, and I happily let him go to town and drain that side, but OMG!!  I'm stoked!!  It might never happen again for a long, long time, so I'm just going to enjoy this feeling today of being rested!!

post #112 of 407
Thread Starter 
joy.gif Carrie. Rejoice in every little bit you can get.

I came on to complain about Dylan's sleeping, for one thing. Last night, he fell asleep just fine and stayed asleep for 1.5-2 hours while I sat next to him in the bed knitting and watching Indiana Jones with Ethan (It was fun to watch it for the 3rd time with another one of my kids...hehehe.). Dylan started to stir. I decided it was time for me to go to sleep so I laid down next to him to nurse him thinking we'd both go right to sleep. He would not settle. He kept me up until at least 2:30 fussing and squirming. He woke up again about 6:45 and, again, wouldn't go back to sleep. I'm being generous if I say I got 4 hours of sleep last night. And, that's how it is most nights.

What I don't get about last night, though, is that he slept very still and quiet while I was sitting there but as soon as I laid down he became very fussy and restless? I've been wondering if he'd sleep better if he had his own space (although, I don't know if I could put him in a crib). But, if he had a problem sleeping with me, wouldn't he be just as restless with me sitting next to him? And, why didn't it bother him to be next to Kellen, who was right there the whole time?

I'm also thinking it may be time for me to take him to the doctor for his gas/poop issues. You all know how I am about the doctor so you can probably figure out how bad it is. He has never had normal poop. It's always very mucousy with just the occasional chunk but it's not the seedy bits that are normal for breastmilk poop. Sorry for TMI. He seems to have a really hard time pooping, too, and a really hard time with gas. The pooping may be why he was so restless last night. He hadn't pooped in days but this morning had a big one. The only reason I'm hesitant about taking him to the doctor is because all they ever do is prescribe drugs, which I'm not comfortable giving Dylan. I don't know what I'll do. What good does it do me if neither I nor they can do anything about it?
post #113 of 407

Well, you already tried going dairy free, right?  I mean, that article you posted had great ideas for doing a full elimination diet.  It might help with all his issues right there.

 

What if you side carred a crib, just to give him his own space?  If Finn is sleeping soundly and DH comes into bed, for example, it always wakes him up.  The shift in the bed, the moving covers, just a new smell, whatever it is, wakes him.  It's annoying.  DH now sleeps in another room.

 

I'm not sure what drug a dr would prescribe, TBH.  Simethicone?  Mucus and runny...hmm...I'll think about it a bit and dig around and see what I can come up with.  hug2.gif

post #114 of 407
Thread Starter 
Yeah, I was thinking some sort of gas meds. I did try OTC Mylicon a while back but it didn't help at all. I also think they might prescribe some GERD meds since he seems to have silent reflux. I had to go to BRU/TRU today so I picked up a bunch of Hyland's colic tablets. I cleared out half their stock. lol.gif

I never went completely dairy free. I did cut out cheese and other major dairy products but I still use regular half and half and sometimes flavored creamers with casein in my coffee because the store didn't consistently have coconut milk creamer. I also still ate pizza with cheese every so often. I did notice his poo got a lot more mucousy and he seemed to have more trouble with gas when I was eating more cheese a couple of weeks ago. I cut that out again. I could not do a complete elimination diet. I'm just not that disciplined. He's been sick with a cold, which I'm sure is contributing to things right now.

I wish I had bought a co-sleeper or crib to sidecar before he was born but I didn't. I can't justify the expense now for something that might work. I had suggested to dh that we buy a twin bed frame so we could put one of our twin mattresses next to our bed to make more room for all of us. He hemmed and hawed about it. Said he had measure things, blah, blah, blah. There's plenty of room. I think he just didn't want to do it. If he can get Ethan and Kellen sleeping in their room, we'll have more room in our bed so Dylan will have more space.

He fell asleep in the car on the way home from the store. He woke up when I got him out of the car but I took him upstairs to lay him down anyway. He was fully awake, pushing up on his arms. I walked out of the room and he went right back to sleep without a sound. Why doesn't he do that at night when I'm trying to sleep? It's the same bed.
post #115 of 407

Really?  Ikea cribs are fairly inexpensive, and convert to toddler beds (which you may or may not need, depending).  

 

http://www.amazon.com/IKEA-GULLIVER-White-Convertible-toddler/dp/B0050RPZLW

 

I've just learned that if something isn't working *now*, I need to fix it.  Not do X, Y, and Z first.  So, getting Ethan and Kellen in their own room seems like a great idea, but how long will that take?  Is it going to happen now?  if not, you need a solution for the time being.  No matter what it is, something needs to change if you aren't getting rest, you know?

 

I want to do sidecar a crib once Finn outgrows the cosleeper, especially b/c we don't have another bedroom for him.  WE'll need to move to a larger house to give him his own room, or even for the kids to share.  Nora wants bunk beds.  Ugh.

 

http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/

 

Ha - I often ask myself the same question re: settling into a nap easily but not at night.  Who knows??  Crazy babies.

 

 

post #116 of 407

Good or Bad, I think they're up more often when we're in bed with them because they can sense/smell us near and it reminds them that they want to nurse and be with us. Obviously evolutionary wise, this is a good thing, because it keeps them getting enough nutrition. But it seems like a bad thing when you just want to sleep! If T is in bed with us, she's up every hour or so. If we put her beside us in the bassinet, she'll sleep a good 4 hour or so stretch, and then usually a 2-3 hour stretch, and then a 2 hour, etc as it gets closer to morning. 

post #117 of 407

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1038811/what-makes-breastfed-babies-poo-seedy

 

mw - how is your intake of healthy fats?  Maybe you can try adding some in and see if it helps with D's poo?  Maybe he'll have less gas if there's more bulk to his poo.  Looked interesting enough to share!

post #118 of 407
That was an interesting link Baby_Cakes especially for me because I've always said DD's poo smells like McDonald's food, really greasy. And every single one of her poos is seedy. Does that mean the opposite for her? That sheisn't absorbing enough fat? When DD was constipated in the hospital after surgery and the pain meds, we did glycerine suppositories a couple times. Worked in less than five mins! Got things moving again!
post #119 of 407
Thread Starter 
yeah, even $150 (plus shipping) is too much right now. remember the fiasco with sean's TDY to CA? we still haven't gotten fully reimbursed for that. i haven't been able to save any money because it was ethan's birthday and now ryan's is coming up very soon. it's only us for a few more weeks. and it would be a lot cheaper to buy a bed frame, $50 I think, and set that up like that crib. i could either put the bed all the way up to the wall or put the bedrail on the side. i'm not worried about the ends.

I agree that babies are supposed to wake more when we are close to them. That's why I was wondering why he slept fine while I was sitting in the bed. He didn't stir at all when I got up to go to the bathroom and climbed back into bed. It was only after I tried to lay down and go to sleep with him that he started having problems.

It's not the waking every couple of hours that's the problem. All my boys did that and it was fine because we'd lay down, latch on and both drift off to sleep. It's the not settling and going fully back to sleep. All the squirming and kicking and sort of fussing keeps me awake. He's not fully awake, though, because his eyes are usually closed. He may be squirmy like that when he sleeps alone but, since I'm not there to be bothered by it, he eventually settles back down to sleep. IDK. Whenever I check on him, he's completely still in the same position I laid him down.

I'm at a loss at this point. I guess I didn't really worry about it too much because he was so young. I figured he'd grow out of it if it was gas or reflux, stop teething after a while, whatever. But now he's almost 7 months old and things haven't gotten any better. The last few days seem like things have been worse. Bu, then again, like I said before, we've all had colds so who knows? shrug.gif Maybe once he gets over the cold he'll sleep better.

that thread was kind of inconclusive. some said non-seedy poo was fine. others brought up the stuff about fat. i don't eat a low fat diet on purpose but i doubt i get enough, especially since i cut out cheese and butter. i can't eat avocado, allergic. I use coconut oil as much as I can but I don't do a lot of baking and not many meals I make call for much oil that is actually consumed. Food might be cooked in the oil but then it's drained off. KWIM? Oh, I do eat at least 2 eggs at least 4 days a week. I know my diet is horrible right now. Half the time I don't eat at all or just munch on a handful of whatever I can grab. greensad.gif

BTW, I'm still not getting email notifications. irked.gif
post #120 of 407

I found this while searching for cheap places to buy a babyhawk:

 

http://www.caterpillarbaby.com/buy-1-get-1-free-flip-diaper-cover.html there's only pink, but still!

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Life With a Baby
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Life With a Baby › February 2012 Whatever Ladies and Babies