JJ ~ I need to remember that it's a matter of perspective. I get a lot less angry if I keep in mind that D is not doing that stuff just to piss me off. He's doing it because he's a baby, maybe he's in pain or just not sleepy anymore.
Oh I agree. Nights like last night it's frustrating, but she's up and happy, so I find it hard to be upset at her. I'm angry in general, but not at her. It's moreso when she wakes up shrieking the second I lay down... 10 times in a row... that I start getting so worked up about it. Even then, I know it's not her fault. I'm moreso frustrated at the situation and myself for not knowing how to fix it.
I have divorced parents, a -very- rocky last few years of their marriage and divorce, and as one of those children I applaud you for taking the high road. My parents both had shortcomings- my mother is a serial liar and storyteller and carried on a long term affair for what I can guess was at least the last year of my parents relationship (and is now married to the guy). My father was emotionally abusive, had several, several flings during the years, and had one hell of a temper (we often had broken drywall, because he would put his fist through it in a fit of rage). He also threw a ton of $hit during the divorce, including trying to turn my mothers friends and family around her, breaking into the house and taking photos to show to the judge, stealing her things (ie wedding rings...) and then accusing her of being the one stealing things, etc etc. Anyways, like I said, both at fault. But while my mother had issues, tons of them, she never spoke a bad word about my father, and we never felt made to choose. My father used every chance he could to put us against her, and talk about how poor a mother she was, and how she cared about anything else other than us, etc etc. It really poisoned us, not against her, but at him, for saying those things. It's so hard to be put in the middle, even when the things that parent is saying are true.
I'm the opposite, I've always been a late sleeper, and do my best work at night as well from 8pmish until 2am. I have to work to train myself to get up earlier when I'm working, and I still struggle with it. DH is the opposite. He ideally goes to bed before 10 and wakes up at 7.
Oh, about passing off and taking turns with her. We've tried it, and we do it during the day, but DH gets frustrated too easily/early, and he tries to calm her for 5 minutes or so, but then when she doesn't, he tends to do things that wake her up and upset her, rather than calming and relax her. It just frustrates me, and then I end up going and getting her anyways, but then she's worked up, and I'm frustrated. I just make up for it by getting a bit of alone time during the day when she's calm, but at night, it just hasn't been working.