Changing how you see the world. « Back to Group Discussions

[Beckily]

I've had some big shifts in how I see the world since having this little angel boy. It's been interesting.

Not in substance but in reasoning.

I have always been against war, war is awful. But now it's a visceral horror - those are someone's BABIES that you're killing. And then I imagine what it'd be like to be a woman in a war-torn country. To sleep with a man knowing that if you get pregnant, what the world would be like for your baby. And then a pregnancy in constant terror. And then bringing a baby into a world where nothing is stable, violence is everywhere. It's nearly unspeakable.

Or, lighter note, other children. Where before I used to either be amused or appalled at their behavior (and that of their parents), now it's just a much strong, "Oh man. He's going to DO THAT. Shit."

Or when I meet people, I see them as really old babies instead of as adults. It's interesting.

What have you noticed?

We just had a council of mothers start up in Olympia and I'm very excited about it - to take this new perspective and energy and passion and have a group to work with for change.

[cat13]

Originally Posted by Beckily 

I've had some big shifts in how I see the world since having this little angel boy. It's been interesting.

Not in substance but in reasoning.

I have always been against war, war is awful. But now it's a visceral horror - those are someone's BABIES that you're killing. And then I imagine what it'd be like to be a woman in a war-torn country. To sleep with a man knowing that if you get pregnant, what the world would be like for your baby. And then a pregnancy in constant terror. And then bringing a baby into a world where nothing is stable, violence is everywhere. It's nearly unspeakable.

Or, lighter note, other children. Where before I used to either be amused or appalled at their behavior (and that of their parents), now it's just a much strong, "Oh man. He's going to DO THAT. Shit."

Or when I meet people, I see them as really old babies instead of as adults. It's interesting.

What have you noticed?

We just had a council of mothers start up in Olympia and I'm very excited about it - to take this new perspective and energy and passion and have a group to work with for change.

This!   And on the flip side, I still have a hard time imagining that someday I'll be the mother to a man. That part is mind boggling.

[Beckily]

Originally Posted by cat13 

This!   And on the flip side, I still have a hard time imagining that someday I'll be the mother to a man. That part is mind boggling.

I'm so excited to have the opportunity to raise a man. I hope we do it right and he'll be a great one :-)

but yes, it's weird!

[copper.kettle]

I felt it really strongly when I went back to work after Jeb.  I'm an ICU nurse, and quite frankly my job is really disgusting sometimes.  I found I was so much more gentle and patient with my patients because I always pictured their mamas and how their mamas would want me to care for them.

[Beckily]

Originally Posted by copper.kettle 

I felt it really strongly when I went back to work after Jeb.  I'm an ICU nurse, and quite frankly my job is really disgusting sometimes.  I found I was so much more gentle and patient with my patients because I always pictured their mamas and how their mamas would want me to care for them.

That's awesome! 

[cat13]

Originally Posted by copper.kettle 

I felt it really strongly when I went back to work after Jeb.  I'm an ICU nurse, and quite frankly my job is really disgusting sometimes.  I found I was so much more gentle and patient with my patients because I always pictured their mamas and how their mamas would want me to care for them.

That is so sweet :)

[MayM]

I've had a similar shift regarding the homeless in my city.  I imagine them as babies and think how heartbroken their mamas must be that they're living on the streets.

I've also become much more aware, worried and saddened by environmental degradation and climate change.    This is my kid's world they/we/I am wrecking!

Originally Posted by Beckily 

I've had some big shifts in how I see the world since having this little angel boy. It's been interesting.

Not in substance but in reasoning.

I have always been against war, war is awful. But now it's a visceral horror - those are someone's BABIES that you're killing. And then I imagine what it'd be like to be a woman in a war-torn country. To sleep with a man knowing that if you get pregnant, what the world would be like for your baby. And then a pregnancy in constant terror. And then bringing a baby into a world where nothing is stable, violence is everywhere. It's nearly unspeakable.

Or, lighter note, other children. Where before I used to either be amused or appalled at their behavior (and that of their parents), now it's just a much strong, "Oh man. He's going to DO THAT. Shit."

Or when I meet people, I see them as really old babies instead of as adults. It's interesting.

What have you noticed?

We just had a council of mothers start up in Olympia and I'm very excited about it - to take this new perspective and energy and passion and have a group to work with for change.

[Italiamom]

I have so much more sympathy for other parents in restaurants.  And just in public in general.  You don't realize how much people judge parents (and their children) until you become one/have one.  It's AWFUL.

I agree with Becky, about my feelings about war/famine/disaster/etc. having expanded and magnified.  I remember after the earthquake in Haiti just watching the television sobbing and nursing my little (at the time) boy.  Thinking of all those mothers who would never get to hold their babies again, and all those babies crying for their mothers...  Even now it makes my gut just turn.

I'm also WAY more sensitive to kids/parents in movies.  In a way that is sort of ridiculous.  Like the most recent Harry Potter movie, *SPOILER* when he sees his dead parents toward the end of the film...  I'm sure I would have had a good cry before having kids, but I was straight up blubbering in the theater, imagining how my babies might feel if they lost me, were facing death themselves.  Ugh.

On a lighter note, I love getting to go back and read favorite kids books now, and getting to see them through the eyes of my child, getting to see the delight in his eyes as I make up voices, etc.  That is so very cool, and so much more enjoyable than I could have possibly imagined. 

[Beckily]

I watched a comedian last night talk about rewatching "Honey, I shrunk the kids!" again as an adult. He said he'd like to redo it as a horror film. "Honey, I shrunk... our children. And they're out in the yard. And I saw a scorpion. And it's full of ants. So I've killed our kids. ... And the neighbor kids. We're going to need money. Lots of money. And passports."

And yes! I can't wait to show him all things.

Michelle!! When's he old enough for OMSI??

[Italiamom]

Oh Becky, I bet by this summer Charlie would LOVE the toddler room. I'm not sure what they call it, but they have a huge sand station, a water station, it's incredible... I bet that come end of summer, Charlie would have a blast!

[cakemama579]

Oh yeah.  War gets me. Big time.  And so does any programming (news, movies, etc.) in which a child is abducted or killed.  I can't even let my mind go there, so I just change the channel.  Right now, I'd rather live in denial.  The only thing I can't help but watch and think about right now are environmental issues (which I think someone already mentioned).  I worry endlessly about the world our children are inheriting, and can't figure out why our focus as a society, as a nation, as a world, isn't almost exclusively on saving the planet and education.  Seriously.

[Tear78]

Originally Posted by copper.kettle 

I felt it really strongly when I went back to work after Jeb.  I'm an ICU nurse, and quite frankly my job is really disgusting sometimes.  I found I was so much more gentle and patient with my patients because I always pictured their mamas and how their mamas would want me to care for them.

This is a perspective I find myself bringing to my teaching. It's also helped me feel more confident when talking with parents because hey, they're people like me. They are also more prone to listen to me now that I'm a parent, which bugs me because i'm a professional with a master's degree and years of experience w/ kids. I always grimaced when told "just wait until YOU have kids" by parents of students...especially during the 2.5+ years of heartbreak TTC. But I digress... I also find myself more saddened by the students' families that don't provide enough love and support for their kids, or who abuse them. But at the same time it's easier to deal w/ the frustration of feeling like I can't help those kids enough to overcome their home life because I know that now I really can make a difference for my baby at home.