Wow 20 pounds! I'm not sure when DD1 reached 20 pounds but at 1 year she was 16 pounds! That is one fast growing baby!
I'm so sorry for all of you mamas dealing with rude "friends". Yuck.
DH leaves tomorrow for a week. Fist time home alone with both girls. Bedtime will be an interesting juggling act! Wish me luck!
Sex Drive: Yeah. It's not so much that I don't WANT to DTD....it's more that there's this whole other list of things I have to/want to do MORE when I have a bit of time at the end of the day without children needing me.
Tonight my dream list (if I had lots of time without someone waking up) goes something like this.
1) diapers/laundry
2) wash bottles
3) dishes
4) pick up the god awful mess of toys everywhere
5) scrub the potties
6) clean the bathroom
7) very hot, very long shower
8) misc. personal grooming that often goes undone
9) online time
10) read a few pages of a book!!
11) cup of tea, a snack
And then I would still rather
12) have a conversation, or
13) watch a bit of tv together
before
14) sex....and then only a quickie please so I can get to
15) sleep.
And honestly, I'd still rather sleep instead of sex but I feel some marital obligation.
DH's list?
1) sex
2) sleep
It's 11:40 pm. I managed the bottles, putting in a load of diapers and a short shower. The baby just woke up. And DH is hot to trot. Give me a break.
I have wicked internet ADD and find it hard to concentrate on these threads long enough to respond. lol I do read what you ladies are up to though. And most of you know I'm on FB way too much. I'm loving having our own private group there. Fun stuff. :D
Sex.... not much of that going on around here. I'm really quite afraid of getting pregnant again. For once in my married life I'm REALLY not wanting another baby. I think 3 might be my magic number. I have an appt on the 8th to talk to a CNM (who I saw through both of my 1st 2 pregnancies) about birth control. I'm just so torn. I would rather not have anything hormonal, but I don't trust myself to do it any other way..
Katico and others : sorry you feel so shamed by feeding your babies formula. I can tell what a loving mother you are, Beth, and feeding your baby formula (even if you CHOSE to) doesn't cancel that out. I fed both my boys formula throughout their first years, and never thought too much about it. Sounds like you live in a very pro-BFing area!
sex drive- WTH is that????????
ok so really, I wouldn't know as I DO NOT have a sex drive while pregnant or nursing (unless I am ovulating then bring it on, lol). I have been married a little over 10 years and have been pg 9 times so I have learned how to be ok having sex even if I don't have a natural desire to. My dh has also learned that unloading the dishwasher, folding a load of laundry, etc. etc. etc. really IS foreplay. I can focus a lot more on sex if my mind isn't wandering to my to do list.
Dh wanted sex tonight and it has been about a week (which seems to be his limit that he doesn't want to go over and mine for not going under:)), the baby kept waking up and he got frustrated and went out for a bet. Guess who fell asleepb within min. of him leaving and hasn't woken up.
Obviously we find time to have sex as my pg's show it and it isn't miserable for me but we have had a lot of talks about it and it isn't fair for him to push it on me just as it isn't fair for me to withold so both of us compromise and it works out.
katico & theboysmama - you both summed up sex around here so well!
Really struggling with crazy mood swings around here. I fluctuate wildly in a matter of minutes & it's really leaving me & everyone else reeling. I'd love to be one of those even keel types for a change!
Okay, I think I'm able to post now! Thanks to whoever approved me! I feel so validated!
formula feeding: I supplement at the breast with the Lact-Aid system, and all my AP mama friends as SO impressed that I've kept H exclusively at the breast. Yay, me, right? No. The real reason why I use the LA instead of any bottles whatsoever? The shame! I live in such a crunchy area that even fostering or adoptive mamas or otherwise non-gestational mamas are frowned upon for not trying to induce lactation, seriously. So rather than endure the shunning and explaining and shaming, I choose to use the expensive, fiddly and often frustrating at the breast method so most people have no clue that I supplement with formula. Because I can't bear the thought of explaining myself and all my endless breastfeeding efforts to the nanny at the park, the mama in the store, the grandma on the street, the auntie on the bus, and on and on and on. And you know what else? I'll be shifting H to a sippy cup in the next month or so, and I'll get the same flack for that from many of the same people. Sigh.
Oh! And when some AP mamas catch sight of the LA and deign to ask what it's for, I STILL have to explain that I've done the herbs, the pumping, the stupid lactation cookies and teas and blah, blah, blah.
sex: I'll put my Public Service Announcement hat on and climb on a little soap box for this one. Like theboysmama, my advice is to not wait until you 'feel' like it, because as mamas of such young babies, that's not going to be very often. Instead, get physical and decide to go along with it, and you'll be surprised with how often you do get into it and end up having a great time and reconnecting with your partner. Use lots of lube, and bring along your sense of humour (for when the baby needs attending too at the *exact* wrong moment) and you'll likely find that the pay off is well worth it. I learned this with my first, and while it's a bit harder with the second, being that we're scheduling time with two children in mind, I highly recommending making it a priority. Many parent friends of ours complain that Lack of Sex is a big point of tension and simmering resentment in their relationships.
Tiny Fey's book: Loved it! Laughed so hard that I got the hiccups!
I'll keep up from here! Gotta go for now ... baby wants his fiddly, at-the-breast supplement booby. 
Back later to actually catch up!
Sex Drive.... lol.... none here. It seems like any time we both want it at the same time, there's a kid needing something first. We really had to try hard to find time yesterday, since dh was leaving early this morning for 3 weeks!
DH is currently on a plane from Atlanta to Japan. I have a cool app on my phone where ds can watch as the plane travels so we can see exactly (kinda) where dh is. It only works on flights that are either in or leaving from or coming to the US though, so all of his flights overseas we can't track. We have Skype set up so that dh can talk to the kids a couple times a week too, which will help ds1.
I'm so sorry some of you mamas are feeling judged. Both of my ds's were EBF, but I would never judge a FF mama. There are SO MANY reasons for using formula, and it's not up to me to say what's valid and what's not. As long as baby is getting fed and growing and thriving- it really doesn't matter how they are getting that nutrition!
One small MIL rant for the day. DH wanted to meet them out for lunch yesterday. So we're at the restaurant and MIL, out of nowhere, says to me "Now any time it's raining, snowing or too cold or windy then George (FIL) will take Owen to school and can pick him up". I stared at her for a minute then said "I am perfectly capable of driving in all weather conditions so thanks for the offer but I've got it covered". Now, FIL is not pushy and knows I'll call if I need help. But MIL believes that she knows best so responded with "Well we're going to do it so that's that". Ummmm.... wtf?! My child, my choice. End. Of. Story. I don't know why she thinks I can't drive in the rain/wind/snow/whatever. It's not like dh takes the day off work every time the weather isn't perfectly sunny so he can drive me around 
. It's not like dh takes the day off work every time the weather isn't perfectly sunny so he can drive me around
You know, most jobs have "bad weather" days built into the whole employment deal. There are also "waiting for a delivery" days, "wife really needs to do laundry days", and "hmmm, traffic looks heavy days."
That would bug the crap out of me. Better leave a few minutes early just to head them off!
Period: I keep thinking it has started, and then it hasn't. I really wish it would just stop torturing me and show up.
I'm so proud of us. Laundry hasn't been totally done and totally put away since we MOVED INTO THIS HOUSE. Yesterday was laundry day. We tackled the mountains. And everything, except a few things in the baby's room are put away. It is so nice not to have piles. My house is really pretty clean without them laying around everywhere! And today is the anniversary of my positive pregnancy test. WooHoo! I can't believe how she's grown!
Sex -- We've tried twice but it still hurts too much. We use plenty of lubrication. I asked the mw's nurse about it and she said that sometimes it takes 6-8 months for things to heal. So that's that. DP is very patient, and we're both so tired. We were always more a snuggling and kissing couple anyway.
Beth and others -- I read an article a long time ago about how the breastfeeding movement is another way of controlling women (I'm paraphrasing from my faulty memory, but that was the general idea). And truly, the first few months of breastfeeding is one of limited movement and freedom if you decide to EBF, where BF has to be prioritized over almost everything else. That may not sound so bad, but in practice, if circumstances or your lifestyle make it difficult, it seems a wretched deal. And who's to say that women must sacrifice everything to try to make this one thing work, which may not work regardless? Anyway, people's reactions to your FF reminds me of that article.
I'd like to write a longer response but I have to go make a pie for the SuperBowl party tonight, while DD is still asleep!
P.S. I've been trying to upload an album to the FB group, but can't. Is there some trick to this?
Sex -- We've tried twice but it still hurts too much. We use plenty of lubrication. I asked the mw's nurse about it and she said that sometimes it takes 6-8 months for things to heal. So that's that. DP is very patient, and we're both so tired. We were always more a snuggling and kissing couple anyway.
you've probably done this already, but have you considered getting checked for infection? I had one bad for 8 mo pp with ds and finally got checked.
Yeast can dedinately make it more painful. After my first I had pain for lost a yr when I wasn't using topical lidocaine that my dr prescribed. After ds2 my mw clipped a skin tag and it got better.
sex: I'll put my Public Service Announcement hat on and climb on a little soap box for this one. Like theboysmama, my advice is to not wait until you 'feel' like it, because as mamas of such young babies, that's not going to be very often. Instead, get physical and decide to go along with it, and you'll be surprised with how often you do get into it and end up having a great time and reconnecting with your partner. Use lots of lube, and bring along your sense of humour (for when the baby needs attending too at the *exact* wrong moment) and you'll likely find that the pay off is well worth it. I learned this with my first, and while it's a bit harder with the second, being that we're scheduling time with two children in mind, I highly recommending making it a priority. Many parent friends of ours complain that Lack of Sex is a big point of tension and simmering resentment in their relationships.
such good advice. This is how I am looking at it. My partner and I have always been different when it comes to timing for DTD. I always wanted it and he wanted it when he had free time so when he wanted it basiclly he got it. So now we are running into me not always "wanting" it just because my mind is elsewhere and everytime DP has "time" (as in:between video games, and sports games on TV) the baby is awake. The other day I got super pissed at him. The baby had been asleep for like 3 hours and DP was busy playing video games. The baby wakes up I nurse him and THEN dp wants to do it... Seriously? You have a kid now, if you want sex then we need to fit it in when the babe is asleep which is at least a 3 hour stretch when we are home together. I have a sex drive, I just don't have my "anytime all the time always on my mind" sex drive right now. So, yah we really need to make it a priority or it just won't happen and in the long term it will make both of us miserable. I just used a lot of quotes in that paragraph.
still healing: I have the youngest babe in the group but I feel like my body is still healing. DTD isn't painful but certain things are still uncomfortable for sure and we still need to take it easy. I can't wait to have everything feel ok again.
EBF vs FF biased mamas: I really think some mamas who don't have to deal with low/no supply and have an easy time with BFing think that it can be that easy for everyone if they just try. It is pure ignorance but still pisses me off even though I myself could EBF right away with no issues. I feel for you ladies. My brain would expload if I couldn't BF but I know I would deal with it. Not sure I could deal with people who are super judgemental to me like that I'd probably throw a chair at them. And speaking of throwing a chair at someone...
Dreams: I had a dream the other night that someone was telling me I was a horrible mom because my house is drafty and I put my kid on the floor to play. I threw a chair at her. So weird. I don't have a temper but maybe I secretly do if someone insults my parenting? lol
Well, I'm here. Getting ready to watch the Super Bowl with Landon.
We went to the mall earlier. Landon was a nightmare. He was sleeping in the car, and he usually stays sleeing while we shop (we just click his infant seat onto the stroller.) But, today he popped his eyes open the second we were in the mall. He was happy for about 10 minutes before the screaming started. I took him out and held him and he was happy while we were in the Gap, but when we went into the mall part he started screaming. Not sure if it's because it was loud or what. I was so mad that I left my Beco out in the car, wonder if he would have liked it. I haven't put him in it in a while. He was crabby the rest of the time we were there. He had 4 oz of formula, and than when we got home he was still crabby so I gave him another bottle and he drank almost 5 oz. That's a lot for him in that short of a time period. Maybe he is having a growth spurt or something.
Stressed about things, we are looking to move in May, when my lease is up here. I want a 2 bedroom place. Sharing a room with Landon is okay for now, but soon enough I want him to have his own room. I'd rather find a house or 2 family house to rent, but it looks like it's going to be hard to find. Things are just so expensive here. Plus, it's mostly apartments. I want to find somewhere that we can stay for a few years. I've been moving so much lately, I hate it! I could move away from this town, but this is where I work, and not having a long work commute is great. But, I could probably find a cheaper place if I looked further down south on Long Island. So, it comes down to paying more money for a place close to work, or finding a cheaper/bigger place further from work. I'll have to think about which one is more important to me.
Can't believe the weekend is over. The weekends go by way too fast. I'm not ready to go back to work tomorrow......
Being afraid to fall in the toilet is perfectly valid! See, this one time I came downstairs in the middle of the night, bleary-eyed, stumbled over to the toilet, and plunked down, only to find that a) my husband had left the seat up and b) he hadn't flushed. I was in the shower faster than you could say "boo", but it still grossed me out for weeks afterwards. And post-partum, when my third degree tear was healing and I was very sleep-deprived, I just about had a fit every time my husband left the seat up, because I feared infection and subsequent death. Just sayin'.
People who judge for FF are a little too engrossed in their own reality, in my opinion. I'm sorry any of you have to live with their judgment.
That excerpt from the Tina Fey book was hilarious, and now I want to read her book . . . I added it to my GoodReads list.
Starling, I don't know you in person, so it shouldn't come as such a surprise to me, but I'm surprised that you do the lact-aid thing given what you wrote! Is there really that much pressure out there for reals? I know that I live in a pretty working-class, pretty "American" town where there's no problem at all with bottles--actually, I feel almost the opposite, like I should hide the nursing/feeding. I nursed at mass today and that was kind of a big deal for me, not that anyone would mind, but Iona is SO hard to get to nurse without a fuss normally that nip is just too attention drawing. Hmm. Feeding babies. Should be basic. Also, what you said about bringing a sense of humor to the sexy bed? Totally with you there. We've been together for 11 years now, married that is, and it just took kids to give us this sense of humor, which makes it way more fun for me. I like laughing and while I don't have to make it into a laugh-y time, if it turns into one, we're both fine with that and it's ok.
steph - oh my - your poor ds!!
chelsea - good luck with the house hunt.
Thanks for the input about the pain. I'll look into it. I hadn't considered an infection.
bia
what a day. ds's dr. thinks he may have celiac disease. we had a blood test done--what a brave boy. i almost hope that's what it is just because his symptoms are not improving.
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