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Looking for positive feedback on 22 month age difference

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 

I just found out that I am very, very newly pregnant. I am 39 and DD is 13 months. DH and I decided we would wait til she was a year before starting to try again, but I didn't really think it would happen on the second try! There are lots of reasons why I want to have another baby soon (my age being a big one), but seeing those 2 pink lines on the HPT still has me a little freaked out.

 

Any mamas with babies close in age who can reassure me that 22 months is perfectly manageable?

post #2 of 18

I am looking forward to reading some responses because I am also in a similar position.  My second daughter and the baby will be about 23.5 months apart.  I also have an older daughter who will be 4.5 yrs when the baby is born.   I am freaking out a little bit about it all!   I loved the spacing with my first two (they are 29 months apart), I am just worried that I am pushing it this time.   We also didn't think we would get pregnant to quickly, so this is unexpected!  So far, people have told me that a 2ish year gap is a great gap........I hope they are right. =)

Congratulations!

post #3 of 18

Subscribing. I've been having a conversation about spacing, even closer than 22 months, in my DDC and look forward to the broader responses here. Of course...my first isn't even born yet!

post #4 of 18

My kids are 19 months apart andit can be good and.  It was rough being pregnant while taking care of 1 year old, I could no longer give him baths or carry him in a backpack.  But now that they're 2 and 4 they seem to mostly enjoy each other.  They play a lot together and are sweet with each other. It was however a rough first year.  Just because your child seems to like the baby, never leave them alone.  I had my daughter strapped to me in a moby most of the time because her brother is sneaky.  Another thing to think about it breastfeeding, I went o a pump right away because it was hard keeping track of my oldest while I spent 45 minutes breast feeding.  Good Luck, i would say now that it was worth it and each year I think thell get closer.

post #5 of 18

On a side note: if you think that first baby messed with your body, the second is a kicker.  Definetely harder to come back from.

post #6 of 18

I'm due any day now and DS1 will be 22 mo. next week so I can't say how it is raising them, but I can speak for the pregnancy.

 

I think it's kinda a good time actually. My son weaned himself so he didn't need me aaaaaall night long like he used to which is great (though the weaning in itself isn't good, it was hurting and he didn't seem to mind since the milk had changed). It's nice b/c he's not so young he needs to be carried, but I'm still able to b/c he's not that heavy. He's become very clingy, but it a good, loving, cuddly way. i don't know how much to contribute to the pregnancy, but he senses it and knows something's going on, just not old enough to really comprehend it (like he points to his belly and says baby too). He's also not at that age where there's major mood swing/temper issues and/or where he needs independance (like they are at 2 and 3 - man those 3 yr olds, IMO they're much more challenging!). 

I thought I'd be so sad b/c he's my baby, but around that 18 month mark they grow up and understand and mature so rapidly that, though he's still my baby, I can actually have a conversation with him and have fun "hanging out" with him! So I feel I'm actually ready for a baby.

Hope that all makes sense? I'm also real excited to have two boys so close in age - they will be buddies!

Don't get me wrong though, it's real hard, but isn't any age, especially preschool and under?!

post #7 of 18

My first two are 22 months apart and I loved the spacing for them.  My son was excited about having a sibling and loved having her around.  He weaned early on in pregnancy due to supply issues and pain issues.  He was okay with it.  I thought about nursing him again when the baby was born, but he wasn't interested.  For us, the first few months were "easy".  My daughter would nurse and sleep a lot, so I'd either have her in the wrap or else she did okay napping in her bassinet also.  I liked wearing her in the wrap because it was completely hands free from the beginning and I could still hold, carry, and play with my son while she was napping.  We didn't have any "jealousy" issues because we didn't make it an issue and I think 22 months is a little too young to understand jealousy.  At least for my son it was.  Once my daughter started getting really mobile and interested in toys, it got a little more difficult sibling wise.  I'd say from about 9 months - 15 months was more difficult.  But then my daughter started getting more verbal and they both could play together better.  They are 45 months (3yrs9months) and 23 months right now and they play together all the time!  It is so great. 

 

That said, I am 19 weeks pregnant and I cannot imagine having a newborn at this point with the way my daughter is.  She is so much more active than my son was and much more into what is hers and pays much more attention to who gets what and why then my son ever did at her age.  I think this is in part because she has an older brother and in part just her character.  This pregnancy has been much harder on me too. 

 

Both of my first two have been fast nursers, so I'm hoping for more of the same this time around.  My son nursed for 5 minutes on one side, every 1.5-2 hours.  My daughter nursed for 10 minutes max, on one side, but sometimes both sides, every 2-4 hours.  I'm sure that made it a lot easier for me too, I can't even imagine nursing longer than 15 minutes at this point!  

 

We had two in cloth diapers for a few months, but we started potty training our son at 25 months.  That made things a lot easier on the laundry front. :)  I'm hoping to train my daughter right around her second birthday, so that I might even get a few months with no diapers this time around!  We shall see.

 

Any other questions or things I missed?

post #8 of 18

Hi, I have 4 children and the first 3 were 2 years and 2 months apart. I realize that is 4 months more than what you were asking but I had no problems with them at all. I would do it the same way if I had to do it again.

 

post #9 of 18

I have two girls 22 months apart.  I gotta say they are the best of friends.  Always looking out for each other always helping each other.  They even sleep together... in my bed.  DH and I are sleeping in their twin beds til I go pick out a new bed for them.  I loved the spacing.  And even a toddler is helpful with a new baby.  DD1 adored her new sister and DD2 looked at DD1 like she hung the moon.  It's a good age gap.  My brother and I were 22 months apart as well and we did very well together.  Still best friends.

 

I will say though, they will work together as a team.  For you and against you.  Good luck.

post #10 of 18

DS1 and DD1 are 22 months apart, DD2 and DS2 are 22 months apart.  Once the younger one is old enough to be considered a playmate (20-24 months, depending on the kid), I love that age difference!  DS1 and DD1 are best friends (and sometimes worst enemies) all rolled into one, they're inseparable.  My girls are 24 months apart and they play together great also.

 

Right now DS2 is 19 months and sooooo close to being a playmate for DD2, but he's not quite there yet.  Sometimes they play together well, but other times he just gets on her nerves.  I can see it getting better week by week, though, so by this summer I think she'll be happier to play with him.  He loves following her around and wants to play with her so bad.  

post #11 of 18

We have a large family, and the spacing between four of the children is 20-21 months.  (We had spacing of 17 mo two times, and two times had longer spaces.)  It wouldn't have been my ideal if you had asked about ideal child spacing before having children, but it's worked out beautifully.  There's a real closeness between the kids and in many ways, having them closer together made things easier for me - they kept each other entertained and happy for hours at a time, once the littler one got to be about 18 - 24 months.  I had to supervise, but they had built in playmates all the time!  

post #12 of 18

The children I cared for for four years as a full-time nanny were about 22 months apart, and when I first started with them, I remember thinking, "This is hard.  The older child still could use a little 'babying,' but I can't, because I have to hold the real baby."  It seemed her wanting to be "baby-like" was part of what was holding her back with potty-training, as well.  So, that's the negative side.  The hugely positive side is that they are the closest friends of any siblings I have ever known!  Their relationship is a joy to watch, and it makes me feel good for both of them (since they've moved to a different state) to know that they automatically have such a close friend in the other.  They fight, but what I love about their fights is that it's usually about getting the other one to agree about something, whether it's what game they will play or some academic point.  I remember their having a knock-down, drag-out fight, the subject being each one's earnest desire to convince the other of how penguins really walk.  I would much rather have that, than to have the younger child trailing forlornly after the older one, with the older child calling out annoyedly to the parent or nanny, "Make Junior leave me alone!"  I know it's not all about age difference, but it has seemed, in my experience, that having a two year gap instead of a three year one, really can lead to more closeness.

post #13 of 18

My girls are 22 months apart and it's great.  The only thing is that they both want to be in my lap a lot - but I indulge them and try to enjoy the time they are still little.  They are now age 3 and 18 months and I have another baby on the way that will be about 24 months from my youngest girl.  I also have a 6yo boy who is 2.5 years older than his sister and that's been wonderful too :)  They do fight more (because they are all learning the same things to share and be nice and nice touch, etc... but once they get older that all will pass).  I think the hardest part has always been the nausea while pregnant and having such a little one(s) to run around after while feeling so sick. 

post #14 of 18
Thread Starter 

This is so good to hear and so, so helpful. Thank you all so much for the great feedback...now I'm really starting to get excited!

 

Thanks, mamas. 

post #15 of 18

My kids are 10 months apart, so 22 months seems like a breeze.  ;)  No, I know all age gaps have their good parts and difficulties.  At least the older one will be largely self-sufficient at that point, able to wait for a few minutes for things, not needing to be carried everywhere.  And they'll be close enough in age to be able to play together decently and share similar interests.  If the older one was, well, older when the baby was born he might have been more set in his ways, but at 22 months I think it's still pretty flexible and his world won't be turned upside down (well, maybe for a little bit).

post #16 of 18

My first 2 kiddos (2 boys) had a very similar age difference and it worked out great.... better than I had been expecting for sure! Now they are 5 & 7 years old and (generally) get along really well... they have their moments, but I suspect all siblings do! ;) Good luck, it will work out fine! Congrats :)

post #17 of 18

DH and I did the same thing with TTC when DS turned 1yr thinking that it might take a little while (we are in our mid thirties).  Surprise! Second Cycle.  The 22 month spacing has been great though.  At first it was a challenge just getting accustomed to going from one to two, but in a few months we got into the swing of things.  They get along really well and I LOVE hearing them giggle at each other when they play.  Of course they have their moments when they might get a little jealous (DS is 2yr almost 3 yr and DD just turned 1yr).  Matter of fact we are TTC #3 with the same spacing!

post #18 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiqa View Post

My kids are 10 months apart, so 22 months seems like a breeze.  ;)  No, I know all age gaps have their good parts and difficulties.  At least the older one will be largely self-sufficient at that point, able to wait for a few minutes for things, not needing to be carried everywhere.  And they'll be close enough in age to be able to play together decently and share similar interests.  If the older one was, well, older when the baby was born he might have been more set in his ways, but at 22 months I think it's still pretty flexible and his world won't be turned upside down (well, maybe for a little bit).


Bolded mine, I think that was the biggest thing for us.  At 22 months, it's just something new, not necessarily something disruptive.  My son will be 4 years 2 months when the next sibling is born and I think he will have a harder time adjusting this time around because he is much more aware of himself and his role in the family.  I am really happy with our 22 month spacing between our first two.  And holy wow, 10 month spacing?!?  I don't know if I could handle that, although I suppose you just have to!

 

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