I am having a hard time accepting my weight gain and it makes me sad. « Back to Group Discussions

[rik8144]

Previous to this pregnancy I lost 60 pounds (compounded weight from my first two pregnancies). I was feeling very good about myself. I rocked a bikini on family vaca and bought new clothes in size small!!! When we found out about baby girl here I knew I would gain weight but I thought this time would be different and it wouldn't be so much so fast. Well, here I am at 28w5d and have gained 24 pounds. Between 20-24 weeks I gained 6 and between 24-28 weeks I gained almost 8. I seriously want to cry. Please understand, I am NOT dieting or excessively working out to 'lose' weight or try to curb my gain. I am not going to do anything to hurt me or the baby. I am just sad and I wanted to type it all out. Thanks for reading. 

[chiromama01]

oh rik, that's so hard.  sorry your having trouble being ok with the numbers, but you really dont sound like you've gained an excessive amount.  and the quick weight gain could be more fluid than fat, (blood increasing or just fluid retention...) I would try not to let it get to you.  you lost it once, you can do it again!!!

[saudade]

I understand, it takes time to accept it. I've gotten to the point where I just accept it now but it's taken 7 months to get to that place. I had lost a lot of weight and kept the weight off for about a year before becoming pregnant and gained a lot really fast in the beginning but I've stopped gaining other than about a lb a month since. One way to look at it is that the better shape you were in before pregnancy means the faster you will bounce back. You will be able to lose it again, but I understand needing to process it before accepting it and being okay with it and part of processing it and getting there is talking about it. (((hugs)))

[carastar]

I can totally empathize. Weight gain has been really hard on me this time, too. I gained 70 lbs with my first baby, and after 4 years had finally lost over 60 lbs. Now, at 32 weeks, I've already gained 50+ lbs again. It's really depressing and hard. I'm hoping it won't take as long and as much work to lose this time...but it's a real bummer. I thought it'd be different this time around also, because I eat a lot better and am much more active than before, but apparently my body just likes/wants to pack on the pounds while pregnant.

[csekywithlove]

Oh mama. I understand. I was already overweight and any pound I gain is depressing to say the least. But I've been telling myself that after she is born I will be able to exercise more, be breastfeeding (burn calories there), and be chasing after two kiddos from there on out. Just make sure you are eating healthy and staying active as much as you can. Remember, you lost 60 lbs. before, you can do it again!   

[zuzusplace]

It's hard to look at weight anytime you're pregnant. You always feel like it's too much or too little :( That's why this time I decided not to really look to hard...I started to keep track and realized I was just getting frustrated...so I stopped really looking. I'd say your weight is not so far off of normal (especially if you're a size small), and event though it's hard, you can lose it again. Big hugs, and know that it's okay, and normal, to feel the way you are....just don't beat yourself up about it.

[rik8144]

Thanks ladies. Luckily my midwife is not one to give you crap about weight unless there is an extreme shift that worries her. At my appt today she didn't even bring up the weight gain until I said something. Then she just smiled and nodded. She said she understands but it isn't bad and I will lose it again. My DH is incredibly supportive and tells me that I am doing a great job for the baby. 

Another stashed away fear revolves around DH. With my las pregnancy we were not in such a good spot maritally and my body shape affected him in the bedroom. He admitted that he didn't find me attractive by this point in pregnancy. Things are much better and much different than they were but I still fear his rejection. He knows this and does his best to reassure me but my mind won't let it go. :-( 

Anyway, thanks for understanding. I feel incredibly selfish for feeling this way. 

[Fern5Fern]

Don't feel selfish, it is a struggle so many women have.  My midwife doesn't check weight, and after a big talk with her early in pregnancy I've only personally weighed myself 3 times this whole pregnancy.  It has helped me enormously.  I was the thinnest I've ever been in my life when I got pregnant this time, and it was hard to leave the body I've always wanted behind.  As of my last weigh in I'd gained 35 pounds from 120 to 155.  I know how to get it of though, and bfing (looks like tandem again for me this time too) makes such a difference.  I try to focus on how I feel, not the numbers.

[justKate]

I was just re-reading this thread for the positive thoughts on weight.  I was just feeling down because it seems like I gain nothing for two weeks, then four lbs. in a week, then nothing.... I really don't want to get as big as last time but it doesn't seem like I can stop it.  And I guess if that's what my body needs to do, that's what it will do.  But it is sort of hard to watch.  Nothing useful to contribute I guess, just wanted to commiserate. 

rik, hope you're feeling alright.

[RosieL]

justKate - My weight goes up in jumps too. Steady for a week or three, then jumps 3-5 lbs in a week. I just passed my highest weight in life record...a weight I hadn't planned on ever seeing again (I wasn't thinking of pregnancy at the time, though). I'm eating pretty well, not taking in lots of sugar, and measuring on target though...so I'm just trying to take it all in stride.

[Christy1980]

Rik, You are typing out my story, too!  I lost 70 pounds pre-pregnancy and @ 30w, I've gained 25 pounds, was hoping to only gain 20 throughout the whole thing.  W/ DD, I didn't gain any weight as I was very obese and ended up losing 30 pounds the day she was born, so my expectations this time were probably unrealistic, but doesn't make it any easier.  DH has been supportive, and so has my MW, she doesn't focus on the #'s so much as overall health.  My family, on the other hand, is constantly asking if I've gained "too much" weight already.  My grandmother especially is extremely concerned and brings it up every time we talk.  She is morbidly obese, but has no problems pointing out other's flaws or weight issues.

My MW had me start a food journal to just watch what I'm eating, and that has helped a lot.  I'm not dieting either, or excercising to lose weight.  I was excercising/jogging/biking for an hour + every day pre-pregnancy, but curbed that to 1/2 hour/day of just low-impact excercising b/c my round ligaments start to hurt/ache after a while.  My MW said since my body was used to excercise, I could keep it up as I was comfortable, and that's what I've done.  Helps keep your muscles toned and keeps those lungs in shape for breathing in labor.

((Hugs)) to you!  I know what you are going through, it is not easy mentally or physically.  But we lost it once, we can do it again, and nursing will definately help!

[rik8144]

Thanks ladies. I am feeling better. I know I am gaining what I need to make a healthy baby and I know I can lose it again no matter how long it takes. It does help to have supportive board, husband, midwife, family, and friends. I am the only one in my life making this a big deal. 

[moss]

i feel ya

i've gained 20 lbs just since christmas (before that i hadnt gained anything).  it's been really difficult physically to make such a big jump so fast.  my abdomenal muscles feel really taut, like they're just at the point where they can't stretch any more.  i get short of breath over anything bc my lungs are being pressed upwards, and i cant eat very much at a time without feeling really nausous bc my stomach is so squished.  i bought a new bra yesterday bc my ribs were so compressed with the old ones, and already today it feels too tight.  ::sigh::

i dont think it's selfish at all to want to have support and validation about how you're feeling.  i'm pretty alarmed myself at how fast things are changing right now.