second hand smoke « Back to Group Discussions

[cakemama579]

Advice needed ;)

We live in a townhome, and have enjoyed living next to a vacant home adjacent to us for the last 6 months (my favorite kind of neighbor! ha!).  But now we have new neighbors that have moved in.  And guess what?  they are smokers.  Now, no offense to any of you mamas that smokes, but I happen to be repulsed by the scent of cigarette smoke, and don't want my kids anywhere near it either.

Since we have had such unseasonably beautiful weather here lately, I was enjoying a little outdoor fun with my 4 year old DS and Millie (now 5 mos like the rest of your babes).  Well, what came wafting over but nasty cigarette smoke from the neighbor.

Is it prudent for me to ask him to not smoke while we are outside?  He's in his own yard, his own space... DH thinks I should just go around to the side of the house where we can't smell it, or go out front.  But my feeling is that we paid big money for this house, and I should be able to enjoy it wherever and whenever I like.

What would you do?  And if you did ask him to stop smoking, how might you go about it so as not to make enemies of the new neighbors?

[Beckily]

Hm. I really don't think you can. Smokers get cranky about that kind of thing, I've found, especially if they're doing it in their own yard.

Which completely and totally sucks.

[HawaiianBlesing]

Yeah, I don't think so either but you can try.  He might be feeling the same way as you.  He paid $X and wants to enjoy his home as he sees fit.  It can't hurt to ask though.  Maybe he would be willing to smoke out front if he knows you and the kids are in the back.  Good luck.

[cakemama579]

Oh man.  so not the answers I wanted to hear! lol.  I'm going to have to think on this one whether I will have the gall to say anything or not.  when I first smelled the smoke and we were outside, the most gusto I could muster up was to say loudly to DS, "we need to go inside now so you don't get CANCER!"  The passive-aggressive route is so unbecoming.

Thanks for the feedback ;)

[Tear78]

Originally Posted by HawaiianBlesing 

Maybe he would be willing to smoke out front if he knows you and the kids are in the back.  Good luck.

This seems like a good way to broach the subject w/o making an enemy, It's a compromise and you can even acknowledge that this way BOTH of you can enjoy the new home as you see fit. You could maybe even offer that if you come out and they're already smoking that you'll play elsewhere until they're done. Hugs, this sounds HARD! I would feel the same way, and it is a health issue for your kids.

[cat13]

Do you rent? If so, can you talk to the landlords?

[cakemama579]

We own.. but they rent and I know their landlord ;)  maybe I'll rat them out, lol.  So last night I was putting DS to bed, and suddenly smelled burning.  I freaked out, jumped out of bed and frantically  searched the house for the fire.  was the oven on? did the fireplace spurt out ash onto the carpet? hot water heater explode? none of the above.   and it was the worst chemically fire smell in the world.  DH suggested it was coming from next door--so we tried guessing what it could be.  were they welding over there at 9 pm?  did they fall asleep smoking?

So I practically forced DH to go over there and investigate..he was so mad at me for that.  But whatever-- I feel like we deserve to know wtf we are breathing over here, and what our kids are breathing, right?  And in the meantime, I googled what the signs of a meth lab next door are-- (any particularly burny smells involved?) Ok, maybe I'm a bit nuts.  Turns out, those guys were cleaning their oven!  Who does that at night when everyone is home?  they had their kids home with them and everything.  yuck.  and thanks, neighbors, for the lingering stench of oven cleaning chemicals and old burned yuck.  

Ah, we're off to a good start.  

[Tear78]

oh dear...they sound insensitive. Good for you for investigating! and yeah...meth lab was the first thing that came to my mind too. lol...