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How do you answer "How old is he?"

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

I realize I won't be taking my baby out in public right away, but I'm wondering- when you take your preemie out and people ask, "How old is he?" (or she), how do you answer? It seems like you'd have to explain to each person who asks that your baby was born premature and he/she is x-amount of weeks adjusted and all that. Is it easier to just say the adjusted age? 

post #2 of 12

I always answered with gestational age but now that the girls are getting older I am giving real age unless we are in baby class ( they are not sitting up on thee own yet and people start asking annoying questions ).

post #3 of 12

I just say, "He's 3 months, but he was quite early."  Then I try to change the topic.  I don't want to have to explain it to everyone, but haven't come up with a better answer yet.  We don't go anywhere other than the dr's office, so I haven't had to say this too many times yet.

post #4 of 12
Thread Starter 

Thanks for sharing. I guess I'll just play it by ear. I don't really talk to strangers anyway, so hopefully it won't come up often. I just don't want to go into a lengthy explanation every time it comes up. 

post #5 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAMarshall View Post

Thanks for sharing. I guess I'll just play it by ear. I don't really talk to strangers anyway, so hopefully it won't come up often. I just don't want to go into a lengthy explanation every time it comes up. 



HAHA, that's what you think ;) As soon as you go out in public with an adorable little baby everyone wants to know everything about that baby, "How old is he? Is he your only one?" on and on. Then again, I have twins so maybe that's why I get SO much attention. I trade off between a smile and nod but then I ignore them and a one word response but quickly making an exit. You do not need to explain ANYTHING to anyone, just smile and nod.

post #6 of 12

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAMarshall View Post

I realize I won't be taking my baby out in public right away, but I'm wondering- when you take your preemie out and people ask, "How old is he?" (or she), how do you answer? It seems like you'd have to explain to each person who asks that your baby was born premature and he/she is x-amount of weeks adjusted and all that. Is it easier to just say the adjusted age? 

 

In casual passing, I used DD's adjusted age until almost 2 years old, mostly because of developmental consistency. In the beginning though, she was on oxygen and people in the grocery store or out for appointments would ask more questions when they saw the cannula etc.
 

 

post #7 of 12

I always answer with my son's gestational age. And when they inevitably follow it up with, "how much did he weigh?" I tell them how much he weighed on his due date. Nobody needs to know your private health business, especially strangers. That's nobody's business except you and your family.
 

post #8 of 12

My son, Eli, was born at 33 weeks after IUGR for 6 weeks and lots of monitoring. He was 2 pounds, 13 ounces and 15 inches long. People would ask me how old he was and comment on his size when he finally came home from the hospital and I'd have to go out to run errands. It made me really upset because I was still blaming myself for not knowing he was in trouble "in there". I ended up saying to people that he was "X" age, but born early.

 

Now, Eli is 9 months old and finally catching up to his gestational age physically and people just comment on how handsome he is or how beautiful his smile is. It takes getting use to, but you should only tell people what you're comfortable with.

 

<3 TheLazyScholar

post #9 of 12

I used their adjusted age until they were each 1 year old. I gave no explanation, and unless asked, I didn't tell anyone they were premature.

post #10 of 12
I'm not sure how to reply either. Stating the adjusted age would be easier because you'd have less explaining to do, but it isn't actually their age.

My son was severely IUGR so he is small, even for his adjusted age. For now, I just tell people his adjusted age and explain if they care enough to listen.
post #11 of 12

I gave my daughters age at her birth vs her corrected age. She was 3lbs 15os at 32 weeks. She is now 19. No matter what people will have dumb questions , personal opions and other annonances...smile and nod ok :) my son is a big boy at 9 months we where grocery shopping and a lady kept talking to him , she finally said is he retarded or just rude!! i said its not my 9 month old that has a "problem" go with his brithdat thats how old he is <3

post #12 of 12

DD was born about 33/34 weeks. She is super petite for her age (below 10th percentile in height & weight). Approaching age 3, she's often fits in 12-month clothes! I still answer that question with, "She's 2 but she was a preemie."

In my experience, answering "How old is she?" with the full story- She's a preemie, she had a gross motor delay that made chewing difficult, etc- has always been easiest. I tried a couple times saying, "She's X months" without mentioning her early arrival. People gave me weird looks or commented on ways to fatten her up. Sharing the fact she's a preemie helped fend off nasty comments and dirty looks.

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