How to teach an older child....?

[Rachel727]

I have a 6 year old son who is intact.  I know when we initially did our research on whether or not to circ. everything always said that eventually the child would start trying to retract on their own and could then be taught how to wash himself...

Well he is 6.5years now and doesn't have much interest in even attempting to pull back his foreskin, just I encourage this to see if it will retract?

I honestly hadn't even thought about it until I was speacking with a friend who has a child the same age also intact and she had made some comment about him washing himself...  I then started thinking that maybe we should have discussed this before and he should be trying to pull it back.  I kind of showed him how to pull it back but he said it hurt- I don't really think it did but chose not to push it.

Any advice?  What should I be doing or encouraging him to do?

Thank you for any help!  I really feel like I kind of let this go to long- hopefully not! :)

[mama24-7]

My ds1 is 6.5 too (he'll be 7 in June!).  He is retractable & plays around a bit, but I don't think the fact that yours is neither retraactable nor interested is a problem.  I'm sure he'll get interested in it at some point!

Nothing special is needed, IMO.  As long as he is using clean water (as in no bubble bath, soaps, etc.) on his penis/parts & he doesn't spend large amounts of time in a chlorine pool, then he'll likely continue to be fine.  In spite of what many people will tell you, the foreskin is no more a problem waiting to happen than an earlobe is!

You said you didn't think it hurt when you suggested he pull it back & he wanted to stop.  Why do you think he's not telling you the truth?  It is his body; he knows best what hurts & what doesn't just like you know best what hurts you & what doesn't.  Our society is set on not trusting children.  It's bs.  He knows.

I've seen it mentioned here that the average age of retraction is 10.5 years.  Haven't researched it so I don't know if it's accurate, but I have heard of adults not being retractable & still living full lives.  While it's understandable that you'd worry, you're his mama after all & that's part of the job ;-), it doesn't sound to me like there's anything worrisome going on!

Best wishes to you & your son!

Sus

[Rachel727]

"You said you didn't think it hurt when you suggested he pull it back & he wanted to stop.  Why do you think he's not telling you the truth?  It is his body; he knows best what hurts & what doesn't just like you know best what hurts you & what doesn't.  Our society is set on not trusting children.  It's bs.  He knows."

I don't think it did because I think he was annoyed I was trying to talk to him about it when he just wanted to play :)

[hakunangovi]

I really don't think that you need to be concerned.  Many boys do not become retractable until puberty or beond. I'm sure he will figure it out, but I suppose it would not hurt to mention that once he can retract then a qick rinse with water would be a good idea. At least the idea will be planted. It sounds like you would be better off to choose your moment - like when he is bored and has nothing to do but listen to you!!