Our daughter turned 1 a few weeks ago, and she started walking a bit after 11m. Since then, she refuses to be carried in a carrier/sling or out of it (in my arms) for more than five minutes at a time. I've tried every possible carrying position in both slings and structured carriers, and none of it makes any difference. (She won't ride in the stroller, either.) She will complain, yell, and progress to outright tantrums if we don't just put her down and let her walk. And walking, by the way, means not holding our hands, not going in any specific direction, and ignoring us completely - it means meandering wherever she wants for hours at a time. No matter how much official walking and physical exercise time we give her, it's never enough. She loves climbing stairs and will literally go up and down them for hours, and only stops because we just take her home.
This is becoming a real problem for several reasons. We live in NYC, and the only way for us to get anywhere is for us to carry her. Just to take her to my MIL for my workday involves walking 10-15min. Also, we used to take a long walk every morning and evening, and this has always been a really important tradition for me because it is some of the only meaningful family time and exercise that we all get. I don't mind having some of our family walk time involve her walking along while we stand around and watch her, but it's really making it impossible for me to get either the exercise or the quality time with her and my husband that I need to stay sane when I can't have any time to just walk a bit and have a conversation (without constantly having to steer her clear of dogs, bicycles, pedestrians, making sure she doesn't fall down marble steps, or play with dog poop, or try to slip through the railing into the Hudson river, etc).
In addition to the practical considerations, I'm starting to just get very resentful. I feel like she's robbed me of the one interaction that we used to have that was actually really relaxing and meaningful to me - we would walk together while I pointed out things and chatted with her, and it was the only time (outside of BFing) where we got any touch time and where we had any extended "conversation." Now I feel like she only comes to me when she wants milk, or someone to hand her a particular toy.
I had expected to experience the "no - I want to walk by myself phase" when she is two, but I'm really depressed that already at 1 year old she just doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I don't know how to have any quality time with her now.
I also don't know how to get any exercise - I literally spend almost all of my non-baby time catching up on work and I'm already desperately behind - I can't take an extra 90min out of my workday to get exercise without the baby.
And I'm totally sick of beginning every day with a fight. I can't even get her to my MIL's before work without a huge argument, since she won't let me carry her without screaming at the top of her lungs in my ear, and if I let her walk, she won't go in the direction we need to to get to grandmas.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Is this just a passing phase that we'll just have to get through that is likely to go away after a month or two? Is there any other way I might be able to get her to let herself be carried, at least some of the time?