Pregnant again - with twins!

[mamalovex3]

Wow, I never thought I would say that. 

My girls just turned a year old at the beginning of January and about a week later we found out that we are expecting again!  That was a pretty big shock, but a pleasant one.  I had an ultrasound last week to "make sure there was only one in there" and lo and behold - I am once again doubly blessed! 

I am having completely mixed emotions and go from being thrilled to be pregnant again and happy at the thought of such wonderful family times ahead to being utterly overwhelmed and unsure if I can survive another set of twins.  My girls will be 20 months when the new babies arrive and I will have 4 babies under 2 (wow, that sounds crazy...)

Any other moms with two sets on here?  I could use some advice, reassurance, deep breathing techniques, whatever will help lol

[Red Pajama]

Congrats!

I don't have two sets, but wanted to wish you well.

[mylilmonkeys]

Originally Posted by Red Pajama 

Congrats!

I don't have two sets, but wanted to wish you well.

Me, too!  I know I've seen other posters here who had more than one set.  Hopefully they'll chime in soon!  It's perfectly understandable to feel overwhelmed, but you'll do it!

[ladydodson]

OMG congrats!!! how far along are you? i am sooooooooooooooo envious and also a bit horrified along side you. i keep saying i want more and hubs keeps telling me no/maybe yes/nah/what if we twin again, lol...

that said, a mama on my other message board has 2 sets of twins, 1 singleton and she just replaced 2 frozen embryos and has a feeling they both implanted...so she'll have THREE sets of twins and all of her kids are under 5...

i think if i were you, i'd try to keep the freaking out to a dull roar until you can wrap your head around it...i mean, you've already done it 1ce!

the thing that really helped me with my ~20mo when my last 3 kids were born (my 2nd daughter was 21 months when twins were born and my son was 21 months when she was born) was tandem nursing...i nursed throughout my twin pregnancy even though my milk dried up tho i see some women are discouraged from that due to the threat of PTL...so tandem nursing through a pregnancy and then nursing FOUR might be far fetched...but at least that is what helped me keep an eye on the toddlers while i was nursing so much.

i think you'll probably do well looking into a mother's helper or nanny for the newborn phase so those todds have someone to play with them and make their food and help them nap, etc.

[SeattleMolly]

Congratuations!

I'm not exactly in your boat, but I'll have my twins when my son is 14 months. It is a huge blessing and totally overwhelming as well. It is ok to have mixed emotions and to take a while to process your situation. I truly believe that when we count our blessings and empower ourselves to get through challenges, we will be ok. You even have the twin thing down already! So you have proven what kind of mom you are (amazing!). Think of all the knowledge you have gleaned that you'll be able to re-use with this next set.

I was thinking about a typical day care I checked out recently. In infant rooms, 2 ladies in their 50's take care of 8 babies under 1 year. If they can do it, so can we.

When things get overwhelming, I plan on reaching out for help. It sounds like you have a supportive partner, which is great! Checking in often with my husband, close friends, and mom and dad will be my way of assessing how we are all doing and if we need more help.

These years are the hardest in terms of intense care for our helpless little ones. It will all pass, and we'll be able to experience some independence once again (while missing this stage like crazy, I'm sure).

P.S. I've had to mentally block the comments from other parents who say the most thoughtless things. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, I'll be busy. Yes, I'm glad it's me and not you either. Not helpful, people!

[rinap]

Congratulations!

I'm so happy for you. And totally understand your trepidation.

Definitely get help. As much as possible in whatever form is possible (friends, neighbors, family, nanny, au pair, mother's helper, someone to clean the house), and start it soon so you can have a little time to breathe before the babies come.

[~bookcase~]

huge congratulations mama. my twins are toddlers now and i would still have to take a while to embrace another set - but it's not having twins that stresses me so much as having to struggle through the pregnancy and birth again whilst blocking my ears to all the negative assumptions

you will be ace

[mamalovex3]

Thanks!  I am about 8 weeks although our u/s tech did not speak much English and told us very little other than "two babies".  I go for another ultrasound in two weeks at the hospital to see what's what. 

I am having trouble envisioning nursing FOUR babies, I thought I was supermom just nursing the two.  And lately it has become increasingly uncomfortable for me to nurse, I don't know if there's a change in supply or if it's hormones making my boobs hurt, but I am not enjoying it.  We'll see how it goes I guess.

I am very lucky to have family nearby but of course everyone works and the thought of being on my own all day with 4 babies under 2 is completely freaking me out.  We are on a very tight budget since my mat leave ended so we cannot afford a nanny or anything like that.  We do get a lot of offers of help from family and friends, i think the challenge will be really seeing who means it (!) and scheduling some actual help. 

[purpleheather79]

Congratulations!  I have two sets of twins too (and two singletons.)  My oldest was 5 when I had the second set and I nursed all four of the twins together for 2 years.  It was a wild, crazy time (my DH was deployed) but we made it through.  The first couple of years were a blur, to be quite honest... but it's fun!  :)

[lesliesara63]

While I can't relate to nursing through a pregnancy I am nursing triplets. Its crazy but its working. Congratulations!

[mamalovex3]

Originally Posted by purpleheather79 

Congratulations!  I have two sets of twins too (and two singletons.)  My oldest was 5 when I had the second set and I nursed all four of the twins together for 2 years.  It was a wild, crazy time (my DH was deployed) but we made it through.  The first couple of years were a blur, to be quite honest... but it's fun!  :)

Wow!  I was kind of hoping to wean my girls before the new babies arrive but they are very attached to nursing so we're just playing it by ear so far.  The idea of nursing 4 at once just seems crazy!  It's nice to hear from someone who ahs been there done that - and survived - any tips for me??

Originally Posted by lesliesara63 

While I can't relate to nursing through a pregnancy I am nursing triplets. Its crazy but its working. Congratulations!

Congratulations to you!  It looks as though I may end up nursing 4 at once if these two won't give up the boob by the time their baby siblings arrive.  It is awesome to see how committed so many multiple mamas are to breastfeeding!

[momtoafireteam]

I don't have two sets of twins, but I have one set of twins and an impending set of triplets. We share a DDC as well, so we will have to keep an eye on each other! Congratulations, mama!!

[Shuli]

I share the getting help suggestion. I'm sure that if you go down to your local church and speak to the pastor that he will be able to rustle up some grandmothers who would like nothing better to do than help take care of your little ones. Maybe the local high school can send some girls over who want extra credit in home ec. to come as a mother's helper after school to help with the toddlers.

I got pregnant when my twins were about 18 months and my milk sort of dried up on it's own. I had just stopped night nursing and was planning to wean anyway becuase that's the way they were going, so it just happened naturally.

Good luck!

[purpleheather79]

Originally Posted by mamalovex3 

Wow!  I was kind of hoping to wean my girls before the new babies arrive but they are very attached to nursing so we're just playing it by ear so far.  The idea of nursing 4 at once just seems crazy!  It's nice to hear from someone who ahs been there done that - and survived - any tips for me??

I thought that my girls would wean when I was pregnant too.  Never happened, obviously!  ;)  I remember saying that I thought nursing 4 was just crazy.  It definitely didn't feel crazy once it happened though.  Once the second set arrived, it just felt normal.  I started nursing the older twins at the same time, which I wasn't really doing at that point and had not done much during the pregnancy.  That way it really didn't feel like I was nursing as much as I really was, because I was nursing two at once each time.  I think that nursing was the only "quiet" time in our house for a long time.  

I was in major survival mode for the first year.  My husband deployed right after the younger set were born and I was hundreds of miles from family so I was all alone.  Asking for help is something that I am terrible at, so I sort of suffered in silence.  Looking back, I would have asked for help from anyone that would listen!  But at the time I was overwhelmed and could not even make the effort to seek help.  I had frozen a ton of meals in advance and we lived on them for the first couple of months.  If you can, line up help now because you may be too frazzled to do it later and people will probably assume that you have plenty of help already if you aren't asking. 

Are you planning on buying a quad stroller?  The Runabout quad is definitely the best out there, but very pricey.  You can find them used on the MOST forums or Triplet Connection classifieds.  If my DH had not been gone, I probably would not have left my house for months, but it ended up being a blessing of sorts.  It forced me to get out and do things!  The quad stroller was my best friend.  LOL  I could easily take all 6 kids grocery shopping by myself, which was something that I had thought was just crazy.  It was nice just to go out and walk around the block too.

I hope that things are going well for you!  :)