Am I depressed? Or what is going on? « Back to Group Discussions

[LionessMom]

i have been feeling this way almost since the 10th week. I feel unsure of myself, unattractive, and take things way too personally. i had lost 40 lbs before this pregnancy and now i feel fat and ugly. i have developed a large mass of fat around on my belly and it makes me feel bad. i wasnt bothered by this last time. and i even started off that pregnancy weighing 40 more lbs! i was happy most of the time. but this time i am sad. all the time. i want to cry all the time. i want reassurance from my husband all the time. every little instance where i feel even the littlest bit rejected for anything, i get way upset and think the worst. like he doesnt want me anymore, or he isnt attracted to me anymore. etc. it is awful. i was not worried about any of this last time. i can see that it is hormonal and pregnancy related but i cant seem to stop it. i am going to do more exercises to see if that helps some. i already drink rrl, nettle leaf, and alfalfa tea. i get plenty of vitamins and nutrients etc. so it has to be the hormones. i feel like i am going to die of sadness sometimes. like my heart is just going to melt out of my chest for lack of happiness. at the same time this does not feel like any depression i ever had either. i hadnt had a depressive episode in at least 4 years. i will talk to my midwife about it on friday. but i will refuse actual antidepressants. they dont work for me anyway. i hope she has a natural thing for me to try. until then i am going to go to a body flow class tonight to see if that makes me feel a little bit better. 

[LessTraveledBy]

So sorry to hear this!

I also struggle with my weight gain as I know losing any is very hard for me. (I managed to gain 20 lbs while nursing.)

If these emotions seems to be related to the more emotional state during pregnancy or something else you can pin point, that is one thing. If not, I would make sure to have your thyroid checked. You just basically described me when my thyroid is low...

[kjm279]

This is something I'd definitely talk to your doctor about.

It sounds like a combination of pregnancy hormones and dealing with gaining weight again after losing so much.  If everything comes back OK medically, I'd consider meeting with a therapist if you're feeling really awful.  Having a someone to talk to about it (that may have some insight for you) may help you deal with it better.  I wouldn't say it sounds like depression though, but regardless, you're feeling very down and it would probably worth it to have someone there to help you process through all of your emotions.

[MamaInTheDesert]

I wanted to give you some hugs. It seems like you've been through a lot of changes and stresses the last few months. It could just be that you're trying to cope with all of that, rather than sliding into a depression for "no reason." (Sorry, don't know of a better way to put that.) Of course pregnancy hormones don't help either. I hope that your movement class helps out. Maybe you need some extra mama time. I hope you feel better soon.

[jocelyndale]

Definitely sounds like a combination of hormones and just needing a bit of extra help coping.  One thing, though--I get really blue when my blood sugar is low and I struggle with hypoglycemia while pregnant.  It makes me super moody.  Any chance you need to eat a bit more often?

Also, try to get outside and get some sunshine every day.  

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Dude, I TOTALLY get where you are right now and I really, truly believe that it's hormonal. I have been straight up OUT OF MY MIND for a lot of the last few weeks of this pregnancy. Like, REALLY unstable...it feels really, really hormonal. My diet is awesome, my support system is awesome...everything is good. I've had some stress, but really, stuff we're seeing ourselves through just fine....I've just been so weepy, so sensitive and so unstable. I feel so emotionally weak right now it's not even funny.

I don't have advice, only hugs for you. Keep your head up...I'm keeping myself focused on the probability that it will change with the hormonal shifts to come in the next few weeks....so, here's hoping!! You will be in my thought honey. <3

[LionessMom]

i just found out i am having a boy. which might explain the mood swings. never had that with the girls. i do think i need more exercise as well. i am hoping it calms down now. i am ready to calm down.

[BroodyWoodsgal]

Originally Posted by LionessMom 

i just found out i am having a boy. which might explain the mood swings. never had that with the girls. i do think i need more exercise as well. i am hoping it calms down now. i am ready to calm down.

Can you take long walks? My energy level when I'm having a "bad day" makes it tough...but on a good day, taking a nice long walk does so much for my mood. If you have a nice, peaceful place you can walk, I would highly recommend it for taking your mind off of things and feeling more fit and energized.

I hope things turn around soon...and I'm sorry you feel gross and fat. That's the worst. :( But you know it's only because you worked so hard to lose weight before this pregnancy. Even though you know, logically, that you are gaining weight and expanding for a good reason...you were just SO recently very emotionally and mentally attached to the image in the mirror that was shrinking and shrinking....that seeing it growing and growing is going to have a negative feel to it in some part of your brain.

It's all going to be okay. We understand and I'm sure those closest to you in your life do, too.

[LionessMom]

i have been making my time on pc short. then getting up and cleaning my house. i think i turned a corner bc the last day and a half have been fine. no crying. good energy and mood. i hope it keeps getting better. 

[redbird77]

I think it helps so much to be able to talk to someone ~ a kind, neutral third party to be able to 'unload' some of your thoughts and feelings without feeling bound up emotionally in that person (if it were, say, a husband or best friend). Just getting some head space that way has been so helpful to me. I agree with the daily exercise or fresh-air walks, but there, again, you are alone with your thoughts. Is there any way you might find an amazing person in your area to talk with? Just to vent to? I just received the name of a woman counselor I'm going to set up a meeting with, since I've dealt with depression in the past and tend to feel things intensely and deeply even without all these extra layers (emotionally and physically) that pregnancy adds. xo, all my best