DS is almost 2.5, I am 36 and DH is 43. The debate over whether to have #2 is on the table and is not going well. I never had preconceived ideas of an ideal family size but I feel strongly about having a 2nd child for the following reasons: I want DS to have a sibling so he's not "alone" in the world when we're gone; I like the idea of having another personality in the house; I can't imagine not being pregnant again; I feel like I will mourn the loss of a 2nd child that never came to be for a long time (understanding that we might not be able to have another anyway...); we bought a too-big house (due to location and my husband's insistence) and might as well have another child to fill the extra space - definitely NOT the best reason :)
My husband could have gone with or without #1. He loves DS, gives him lots of attention and participates in household duties to help out. He has been 50/50 on a 2nd for a while but is now mostly against it for the following reasons: just beginning to be able to do more activities with DS; too expensive; afraid of losing our connection; doesn't want to give up his personal activities; afraid of having another high-needs child; he is a bit dramatic and likes to act like our DS has been the most difficult child in history and that the past 2 years have been torture.
I'm not sure where to go with this and know I'm not the first mom to be in this situation. On one hand, I know I will mourn not having another child for my and DS's sake. On the other hand, I am pretty sure I could push this and get my way but then will constantly feel guilty for forcing it to happen, knowing that he was never fully on board. Doesn't seem fair to either of us. I want to make this decision sooner than later and move forward, I don't want to wait any longer if it's going to happen. Are both of our reasons valid? Any suggestions or experiences you would like to share. Thank you, in advance!