I love my 4 year old, i really truly do... that said, i can't stand him today. He doesn't care about anything - he just does what he wants. I don't want to hit him or spank him, but I'm about there. NOTHING works with him. How do I get through to him?!?
I have a 7 wk old girl, 2, 4, and 6 yr old boys... the boys are all about to hit birthdays so older 2, 4, 6 ... we homeschool so they're all home with me.
4 yr old just WONT listen to anything... he runs away when we're out an about, he takes whatever he wants... an example: he got into the clothes detergent and emptied an almost full container in the rug. He went to his room to think about what he did, he helped clean it up, he gave me money for more... i talked til I was blue in the face about why that was bad... a week later...he did it again!! (ok, sorta dh's bad, since he left it at his reach instead of up where I moved it to, but still!?!?! REALLY?!?!)
I've given the boys new freedom to go outside without me... I'll find him tearing things up (grass, the grill, etc.) -- EVERY time I tell him not to destroy one thing, he moves on to another (i have a video camera on the fenced backyard so they're only technically alone out there) When I throw away the toys he destroys, he laughs... (and i dont replace them)
I don't want to kill his spirit -- when he's not making me madder than a hornet, he's a great kid... he can be very loving, etc. ... but the blatant disregard is killing me. You have to say his name 10 times before he answers... (i've never had his hearing checked but i can whisper the word chocolate and he comes running -- literally, i've tested it out numerous times) And, he can tell you exactly what he's supposed to do when someone calls his name...
I would love a class on this, because I just don't know where to go or what to do. I've read so many books, and none of them seem to address the literal ignoring of me. Even in dangerous situations. I don't go so many places that I kind of need to (hello, grocery store? i miss you) ... because he doesn't listen... and even our coop drives me crazy going in and out because i dont have enough hands to keep one on him when walking in and out and ive literally been praying as we walk through the parking lot (its only coop moms coming, and they know my worry but still...)
ok, i think im calm enough now to talk to him about why we don't put holes in the grass... esp when he has a HUGE sandbox to dig in about 20 ft away... sigh.
any help would be greatly appreciated!! (and if anyone knows of any in person parenting classes in the NJ area...even greater appreciated!! I need help, I just don't know where to get it!!!! there was a sleep lady who had a book -- you could do phone sessions with her for extra help -- are there any behavior books that give you that offer, cause id love to talk to a real live voice for help -- ill totally pay for it!!)