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Helping toddler adjust to nanny

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 

I have been a sahm for the past two years, but have had to go back to work due to financial pressures.

I start my new job in a few weeks and need some advice on helping my 16 month old son adjust to his nanny.

 

My son is extremely attached to me. During my job hunt, he would go to family when I went for interviews and would scream the entire time he was with them. He just struggles greatly with other people aside from my husband, myself and older son. I start work in a few weeks, and his nanny started with us a week ago, my plan was to get ds2 used to his nanny in this time, while i'm around. So we do activities together and she plays with him while I'm there too. He is just not interested.

 

I'm really stressing about him screaming and crying while I'm gone. The thought really breaks my heart. There is no option for me to not return to work but how can I help my boy?

 

Alternatively, does anyone have stories to share about children who were VERY attached to a parent and their dealing with being away from that parent?

 

He is breastfed, should I pump?

What can I do to help him?

 

I can't come home during lunchtime as work and home are far from each other.

Should I leave him with nanny for increasing time periods in the next two weeks before I start work so that he is not dropped into a situation where he's alone with nanny for 9 hours all at once?

 

Thanks in advance for listening to this stressed out momma!

post #2 of 3

I'd work up to it like you have been doing. Start just by having the nanny around with you, then having her do things for him with you right there, maybe you disappearing in the house while they are there, then you being gone for short periods and lastly, you being gone all day. Just build up  his comfort level with her.

 

DD2 was 2 when I had start using a sitter so just a little older, she was very resistant and I had to do the above in order to get her used to another caregiver. Them leaving you is often easier for them to handle then mama leaving. I'd send the sitter and DD2 off to do something fun until she got more used to this whole arrangement rather then me leaving the house and having them stay there. DD2 is 5 now and still a mama's girl, she would gladly rather stay with me all day then to go off with our nanny. It is just the way that she is, but we were able to make a mostly good transition when she was younger. 

post #3 of 3

I found it helpful to have our new nanny around for a solid week before I went back to work, actually I think I skipped the Saturday. She played some, she did some laundry, we went to the park etc. Mostly she was just there. I did leave for a bit in the afternoon (pumped right before I left) so she could have a little bottle experience but mostly I just nursed on demand at home. She also did a couple of naps (bounced baby in sling or took her for a walk) as well and that made me feel much better.

 

Your son will adjust and probably become quite attached to your nanny as well.

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