Throwing EVERYTHING... How to discourage behavior in a very sensitive kid

[j_p_i]

My 2.5yo DD is sweet and loving and can be VERY sensitive (just like her mama). She's currently going through this phase that is just driving me batty. If she gets an object in your hand, you can be sure she is going to throw it. Everything. Blankets off the couch, folded laundry, toys, things I ask her to hand to me she throws instead. I ask her gently "please pass that to mama" (which generally works with her, a quiet tone and voice) and she will toss it the other way and laugh.

I know, this is likely just a phase like many toddlers go through... at some point she realized this was a button for me and finds it hilarious to push it! At this point I calmly (ahem, most of the time) ask her to pick up whatever she has thrown. If she refuses, I tell her we will do it together and she'll go pick it up and hand it to me.

I guess this is more of a vent than advice-seeking. She actually communicates quite well, and if I ask her, "why don't you want your soup?" she can provide an answer. If I ask, "why do you keep throwing things?" she ignores my question. If DH asks her, she gets very upset (embarrassed?) and hides behind my legs. She's pretty sensitive about being told what to do by anyone beside me and sometimes DH (meaning if a grandparent said, "don't climb the stairs DD, there's no railing") she will hide behind me and burrow her head, crying and clinging to me.

Thanks for reading, I guess this is just one of those things for me! I'm a very patient person but I find myself taking deep breaths or just ignoring the behavior.

[crunchy_mommy]

If it's nothing breakable, I would ignore it (and if it is breakable stuff, I'd get all that out of reach ASAP!) Then maybe she'll grow tired of it & move on to some other annoying thing.

Or, you could gather up tons of things from around the house & having a throwing party. Just all throw everything!!! And maybe then she'll get her fill?

IDK, just a couple of random ideas, no matter what I'm sure the phase will pass... For a year straight DS threw his cup/bowl/spoon/fork/etc. every. single. dinner. Now, I can't remember the last time he did it!!

[j_p_i]

I know you're right, ignoring has definitely worked in the past! It's when I ask her to hand me something and she tosses it the other way! lol! It has also been driving DH nuts, and while I have all the patience in the world most of the time, he is pretty high stress with school... it makes me feel like I should somehow be "curbing" the behavior rather than ignoring it. I like the idea of a throwing party... maybe I'll get a little basket of ribbon and silky scarfs and fabric swatches that she can throw when she feels the need!

[Jordan Wildman]

we are right there with you, we have a 2.5 year old.  Have you listened to Love and Logic?  They have great information on these kinds of behaviors.  My son throws things allt he time and while ignoring sometimes works, I prefer to teach him a lesson.  If he throws one of his own things and he refuses to pick them up, they go "bye bye"  First, I give him the option to pick them up and say, "would you like to pick them up like a big boy or would you like mommy to?" Once he realizes that his things go bye bye for the day, he usually chooses to pick them up.  We also talk to him about good choices and when he throws something I ask him, "was that a good choice?" and he will say "no" so I tell him "well, please make a good choice and go pick up your toy before I do."

It is a LONG process but worth it. Check out love and logic, it's wonderful for this age group.

There is a CD

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002

[Asiago]

My son recently went through this phase also....it's driven by impulse. Since they are too young to reason with, and the higher brain and cognitive ability are not developed yet, I just distract him. I have tried " we only throw balls", and so on. Nothing works but redirecting, at least that's what I have found......"Look out the window, I see a squirrel!". That seems to work.

[lovepickles]

DD is in and out of this phase. She's just over 2 and has a special inclination for basketball because whenever I'm at the bathroom or kitchen sink she LOVES to throw things in there. Lately she's been tossing her stuffed toys in and it is really annoying and messy. So when she starts in I tell her what she can do. If she is throwing something she isn't supposed to I say "Throw your BALL" "Where is your BALL" and if she is doing it in a tough place i say "Throw your ball in the LIVING ROOM" she gets hung up on whatever i say and eventually it becomes her own idea as she absorbs it. She may throw it a couple more times but then she wanders off into the living room to throw her ball. I've learned that it takes a little bit for the message to go from her ears to her hands so I am a little more forgiving if she doesn't stop immediately.

In general, though, kids this age like to throw and splash. Find some things you are OK with her throwing and encourage them. Like "wow this is MORE fun instead of discouraging anything. I find it is way more effective and we are both happy.

[blessedwithboys]

Honor the impulse.  Take some time each day to let her throw stuf that won't break or cause damage.  Tell her when throwing time is over and then if she keeps throwing, ignore.  Make throwing time fun, make all of her other throwing totally boring.

If that fails, then just like a PP said, wait it out and the next annying phase will replace throwing.  LOL

[WindyCityMom]

My kids are the same way- very sensitive to others' comments about their behavior.  My 2yo is a thrower.. you bet she is  I just don't fold laundry near her.  I turn it into a game (she actually helped me hang some of her clothes today, though I had to catch them   

On a side note.. I kind of wish that store owners and employees weren't so afraid to open their mouths and tell children (nicely) to stop doing things (like pulling shelf tags off!).  I think that at times kids think their parents are out to get them when we keep correcting them or redirecting... if only an outsider would speak up to my kids!  It would be dreamy.