Ways to help my 4-year-old adjust to GAPS--gluten/dairy/grain free

[malayasmommy]

4-6 weeks ago we made some changes with our eating habits. We cut out gluten, dairy and have been in general moving towards less grains and sugar in our diet (baby steps towards GAPS diet). Prior to this we didn’t eat terrible, but it was higher in grains. (Old fashioned oatmeal with honey and cinnamon for breakfast; sandwich with sunflower seed butter, yogurt and fruit for lunch; popcorn for snacks; etc.) I decided to make these changes because my 4-year-old has severe peanut/tree nut allergies and severe asthma…I want to try to help her heal nutritionally as opposed to pumping her full of meds.

My 4-year-old HATES this way of eating. Every meal, every snack, becomes a time for her to protest what we’re eating and it feels like a battleground. To help with the transition, I’ve enlisted her help baking (sometimes she’s interested, sometimes not), asked for her suggestions for snacks/meals (she wants “the old pancakes”, “weenie mac and cheese like at grandma and grandpa’s” i.e. boxed mac and cheese with cheap hot dogs, etc.), I allow her 1 “treat” per day (usually a gluten-free chocolate rice bar or “hot chocolate” made with coconut milk, raw cacao and stevia), I allow her to choose one meal per week that is gluten-free, dairy-free (it’s been spaghetti each week).

First of all, it’s so hard that this has become a source of such conflict in our home. Any suggestions for how to help her adjust to this way of eating?

Secondly, I’m getting a lot of feedback (mostly from mom, sigh) that she’s “too skinny”. (Keep in mind that no one on my mom’s side of the family is at a healthy weight. At age 23 I weighed almost 260#, I’m still not at my healthiest weight—need to lose 30# but obviously I’m doing better with food choices.) She is pretty thin, and has lost weight because she literally will refuse to eat (the last 2 days she’s ate 2 eggs in the AM and then will only eat the vegetables at the rest of the meals). I guess in regards to this, I’m just looking for some feedback as to how you persist with these changes when the rest of the world looks at you like you’re a crazy person for not allowing things like McDonalds or unrestricted quantities of pretzels. I admit, I start to question myself when my mom starts to say “You’re getting obsessive about this and passing it onto your daughter…” I allow her unrestricted access to vegetables, high quality proteins (meatballs, beef sticks, etc.), homemade grain free baked goods, etc. but she’s not interested. Suggestions?

Thanks for letting me vent. And anyone that’s read this far—double thank you.

[seattlelady]

I am in a similar situation with my 5 year old daughter. My husband and I are grain/sugar/diary free. My daughter is gluten and egg free since age 1, and we have at various times limited dairy. I am currently trying to reduce her intake of grains, dairy, and sugar and frequently meeting with resistance.

Some things that I think make this transition work for us:

She shops with me and helps me meal plan. We look at cookbooks together. I just pre-ordered 'Eat Like a Dinosaur' a kid-friendly recipe book with meals that support our nutrition choices. It comes out next month.

We talk about how the food she eats makes her body feel. We talk about how important different nutrients are and what they help our body do. We talk about what sugar does to our body. Regarding fast food, and other unhealthy choices I just tell her we don't eat that kind of food in our family. It is not an option. And for the most part, there aren't any gluten free options anyway. We talk a lot, so much so that she has started telling me to stop. But, the messages are sticking.  I think the food choices with immediate consequences are easy for her. With wheat, oats and eggs she knows she is going to get a burning rash in her genital area and diahrrea. Those are easy to avoid.

I tell her that my job as her Mom is to keep her safe and healthy, and these are the ways I see us doing that. We negotiate about treats, try to limit them to once a day if she is asking for them. We don't eat perfectly all the time, but we try to stick within a framework that supports us being healthy. It sounds like you are doing this, too.

Perhaps you could get her onboard with making some smoothies together. Use full fat coconut milk, avocado(it's usually masked by stronger fruit flavors and cocoa).

I don't generally deal with close family being unsupportive, especially since her severe allergies cause her physical pain. Nobody wants to be responsible for causing that! But, when they question me I usually respond very matter of factly. If she has something with my parents that I prefer her not to have, I try to remember they don't see her a lot. I also remind her that whatever she had with them was a treat. For me, the mac & cheese with hot dogs would be a 'treat' with her grandma. I wouldn't make it at home.

I hear and share your frustration! I say stick with it, find ways to up her calories(smoothies with extra fat) and keep talking about why you are doing this(to her and to people close to you). We are all resistant to change and leaving behind what was comfortable to us, and even more so when the choice isn't completely our own.

Hugs to you!

[SundayCrepes]

My daughter is gluten, dairy, and cane sugar free. She can do other sugars so I usually do honey. She had been tomato free, but we just tried them again and she is doing okay with them which we're thrilled with. She especially loves tomatoes so she's quite pleased.

We eliminated gluten at 2.5 and the rest of the foods at 3 so it wasn't such a big deal as she was pretty young. Our son doesn't need the restrictions. For him we will buy a few of her off limit foods, but for the most part he's gotten used to this way of eating.

Are you okay with your daughter having honey? Do you have more recipes with stevia? I haven't cooked with stevia but I bet there's a lot of recipes out there, you just have to google.

Check out www.elanaspantry.com for great recipes. She uses a lot of agave syrup which I always replace with honey. I think she's starting to use more stevia.

The thing to do is start googling for recipes of things she might like made with foods she can eat. So, google gluten free dairy free pizza recipe. Or whatever food it is you're looking for.

Here's a thread about allergen free foods http://www.mothering.com/community/t/886118/allergen-free-recipes-and-meal-ideas/460

Here's a macaroni and cheese recipe she might like http://vegnews.com/articles/page.do?pageId=40&catId=10 I don't like mustard so would eliminate that. Same with cayenne. I know you're trying to get away from grains, but maybe you could do some rice or corn pasta for now as a bridge food.

Does she feel bad when she eats any of these foods? All we have to do is tell our daughter something will give her icky poops and she won't touch it.

As far as your family is concerned, I can't help much. I'm lucky that our problem was so obvious--diarrhea four times a day. Who wants to inflict that on a little kid?

[craft_media_hero]

We are going through the same thing

I'm trying not to take the constant whining personally! I have to remember that my 8yo dd is going through sugar withdrawal and carb die off (tho we ateblike you, pretty reasonable whole grains and such). I have been trying not to engagecwith her too much. Dh says I should downplay it, not talk about every food choice or. Feel like I need to justify this dietary change with her.

I feel like it's doubly hardbecause her oppositional behavior, concentration, dyspraxia symptoms seem to have gotten worse recently! I'm telling myself it's the carb die off, but it's hard to persevere when I'm not seeing improvement tho it's only been a few weeks.

When I involve her alot in the food decisions, she actuallygets morecontrolling and whiny. So taking an attitude of "this is just what we are doing", making a menu plan and leaving it at that makes it more acceptable to dd, likethe menu is the third party authority not Mean Mommy

As far as the weight, pushing fats with honey is big here--- lots of butter! Veggies and eggs cooked in LOTS of tallow. Coconut oil in hot drinks, etc. I notice her cravings are less when I'm keeping her high fat.

I think I'm going to try making pemmican bars for her to have a sweet, fatty, nutritious snack

Good luck!

[Alenushka]

Did you test your child?  Does she really have  allergy to dairy and gluten.

My son was really allergic to dairy for several years.

I do not  think it is healthy to impose such artifitial and restrictive died on the child who is not actually allergic. It is going to breed obession with foods and eating disorders  later.

[Adaline'sMama]

Originally Posted by Alenushka 

Did you test your child?  Does she really have  allergy to dairy and gluten.

My son was really allergic to dairy for several years.

I do not  think it is healthy to impose such artifitial and restrictive died on the child who is not actually allergic. It is going to breed obession with foods and eating disorders  later.

I totally agree.

[seattlelady]

Asthma is linked with dairy and gluten issues, allergies or not. The OP is clear that she is trying to alleviate the asthma via nutritional choices. This isn't a pointless restriction, but a thoughtful one from a Mama who is looking for advice and compassion.

[Alenushka]

Linked by whom?

My ashtma free kid had sever dairy allergy.

My kid with asthma had no food allergies.

It is much better to test first before tormenting a skinny child with restrections.

When we tested my kid with asthma we fully expected dairy allergy. We actually even tried dairy free died with him before testing. It did nothing. Why? Because the only thing he is super severely allergic to is pollen. That of course, required  a different type of approach. Which we did. His ashtma  90% better.

I shudder to think what would have happened if we just listened to lay people around us reccomedning "vegan", gluten free", "homeopathy", "energy healing", "bonding therapy"

There is no need to guess when allergy testing is available

[SundayCrepes]

I don't know about older kids, but in younger kids allergy testing is not accurate. It's a good starting point, but it doesn't show everything. We were lucky that testing was quite accurate for us. The only thing that didn't come up was dairy. It was because of the recommendations of lay people (aka experienced moms) that we tried taking our daughter off dairy. Three days later she had solid poops for the first time in her life. We were also lucky that we didn't take her off the dairy until after we took her off the stuff that came up on the allergy tests as she had to be off both allergy tested foods AND dairy.

A special diet does not have to be restrictive or unhealthy. It's a matter of how much work the parents are willing to put into it. We are vegetarian and our daughter can't eat gluten, dairy, or cane sugar. We also went six months without tomatoes. (Fortunately we were able to reintroduce tomatoes to our daughter without ill effects.)

So, most people consider that diet fairly restrictive. Not with me as her mom. I make ice cream (from coconut milk and honey,) ice cream cones, mung bean tortillas, lasagna, curry, pretty awesome cookies, cakes, brownies, etc. Although we can't eat out like we did before, there is almost nothing my daughter ate before that I can't make now. It took a lot of work on my behalf, but she eats healthier now than before because of better ingredients.

And skinny could be from poor nutrient absorption. Adults with celiacs can have trouble with their bones due to poor absorption as a child. 

As far as extreme diets are concerned, I read nothing in the OPs post that sounded extreme. It sounds healthy to me.

[Cassiani]

Our entire household is gluten-free.  I use the GAPS diet therapeutically for myself and for my family in various seasons.  Though because I use it for myself, my children have NOT had to suffer with what I had to suffer with as a child.

It's hard at first to rewire the tastes.  I talk to my kids about all the decisions we make.  I used to let them 'cheat' more and have pizza at parties and cake, but noticed that it was not actually making them happier or feel better.  I don't understand why people thing that giving kids loads of junk food is better than teaching them to eat well and why.  By not having any sugar and sweetened things around the house, dried fruit and honey sweetened treats became desirable.  And this is huge, when we eat out, my kids love all foods and are adventurous and curious and eat many new items and enjoy them.  I think many kids are picky eaters because they only trust a few 'safe' items and usually they're not healthy.  Kids who feel good on their food learn to love it and also are eager to try foods.  

They cheat with grandparents, but don't usually enjoy it as much as they once thought they would.  And often i get sick if they're not washed up afterwards and they don't like to make me sick, so it's a great lesson on what to avoid.  

GAPS itself is very hard, but it's not long-term once you've started the healing process.  Then many items come back on.  And many of the real food items are much tastier than the faux items.  But it takes some time to rewire the tastes, and rewire hunger.  Many kids never learn to feel real hunger.  Real hunger makes all food taste good.  And it's not bad for kids to experience a real hunger and real satisfaction from food.  That can help avoid eating disorders later in life if they really understand and become satisfied by it.  But that is hard to teach, it's a heart state.  Giving thanks for food, talking about where food comes from and thanking the animals and people who have made the food also can help kids respect food as such.

Thankfully, I started this when my children were born, and fed them eggs, liver, raw milk, and many other items I was not raised with, so they have a taste.  Sauerkraut and fermented veggies are hugely popular in my house, but they eat it from 6 months old on.  And mommy and daddy eat the same food as the kids.  There are no hidden items or forbidden items.  

Be patient and figure out which recipes and flavors work for your family, and then stick with what works!  It's hard at first, but becomes easier as you all come together in the same goal of health and happiness.

[bellymoon]

I know one case of asthma that was absolutely linked with diet! My brother-in-law, age 40 now, had several episodes of being unable to breath two years ago (think ER trips). He had extensive allergy testing, heart testing, etc. Tested fine on everything. Had made no changes in his home or work environment with products. The doc put him on asthma meds and diagnosed him with "environmental asthma". Said she's seeing more and more cases of this in adults; 'there's nothing you can do'. The meds reduced his asthma symptoms but he didn't do well with the steroid side-effects, so he tried twice in those two years to go off his meds -- had severe asthma attacks with in a few days. He always ate pretty healthy on the surface, although he ate out for lunch, but had salads, etc.

Recently he read "Eat To Live" went totally vegan (and gluten-free) at the beginning of Jan. 2012 went off the meds. Has had NO asthma symptoms in almost a month and a half, feels fantastic. His nasal congestion that he always had, even pre-asthma, has disappeared. His face isn't puffy anymore, and the slight spare tire he'd been carrying around is gone. He doesn't have low-blood sugar events anymore either. He's not dieting, mind you. He's eating a huge variety of veggies and healthy nuts and feels satiated and satisfied! (the same author has a new book out about kids)

I probably wouldn't believe it if I haven't seen it myself.

MM -- I'd suggest reading a lot! Arm yourself against doubtful family members with actual data. Most everything in a regular grocery store (even Whole Foods) is processed in some way and has additives -- that is, things that come from a lab and that you don't add to home cooking. Not to mention the GMOs in 80% of our country's foods (which have been speculated to be linked to allergies and asthma). We've all gotten so used to it that we don't even "see" these things anymore.

I think that being matter of fact about food being a way to support your body (don't link emotions to it) and to emphasize your dd paying attention to how she feels after she eats is important. I was "allergic" to milk until I was about 10 -- it gave me instant congestion, so my mom restricted it. My grandmother thought my mom was off her rocker until my gm gave me an ice cream cone and I started wheezing before I was done with it! I didn't exactly like not having milk (and chocolate!), but what it did was lay the foundation for me to care about my body, my health, and how I took care of myself. I paid attention to these things at an early age. I feel grateful for this because it's caused me to (mostly) stay away from commercial mania and all the processed foods. I don't ever think that THINKING about what you put into your body is being "obsessive" or creates issues. It's all the non-thinking that causes the rampant diet-related disease in this country.

And while we're not totally vegetarian, meat in this country is one of the absolute worst culprits of additives -- not necessarily on the package, but at the animal. (Food Inc., Omnivore's Dilemma, Animal Vegetable Miracle)

What's helped in our house regarding foods for the kids is modeling it. We eat the way I want my kids to -- it sounds like you're doing this -- yay! Secondly, don't make it about deprivation. Enjoy what you choose. Link eating the good food with spending time together (why not? both are good for you!) -- make the good stuff special treats. We've also gone out of our way to be in and around gardens -- volunteering, CSA, home. Fresh food tastes amazing and easily sucks kids (and adults) right in.

Good luck! You're not alone!

[kellib]

I had to read this as I've got my 2.5 year old son on a dairy/gluten/wheat free diet....he was diagnosed with reactive airways and doc put him on regular nebulizer treatments (which honestly were NOT helping). a naturopathic doc recommended the diet. In addition, an acquaintance had her 3 severely asthmatic kids on it with amazing results. After so many bouts of wheezing and illness, I figured why not.

He's been sick 2 times since starting the diet, 4 months ago. Normally he'd be severely sick at least once a month if not more. When he was sick, it cleared up quickly - we treated with medication and I didn't mind it so much because it was not long term and only a few treatments. 

the other change we made at the same time as the diet was a high quality air filter - perhaps that could be the reason for the improvement.

My problem is that my husband is in complete disagreement with the diet. Like others have mentioned static from other family members and general public, I get it from him. He thinks I am completely nuts and does not agree that there could be a connection between my son's diet and health. 

My husband is a very scientific oriented person - he needs cold hard facts from an unbiased source (does such a thing exist???) and I have yet to find that....I asked my naturopath and she said there wasn't really any out there. Curious as to what you all have found - if anything.

I know this is off tangent from the OP but figured since a few of you were on similar diets, some for similar reasons, I thought I'd ask about the research behind it :)  

BTW, my little guy does pretty well generally speaking - though I haven't really taken much away that he was used to, and I've replaced a few things with alternatives.  Good luck with your daughter!!

[itsrtimedownhere]

we've been on GAPS since last may. my 5yo had an easier time transitioning than dh and i did. our almost 3 yo just went with it. i don't think he noticed.

nicholas (5) was having terrible tooth and earaches. almost immediately, they stopped. he never wanted to have junky stuff again.

we recently realized that he's gluten intolerant. he eats gluten, he turns into a crazed zombie. no kidding. he'll hit, kick, scream, go for blood. the whole time with a blank look on his face. it's nuts.

but he KNOWS what happens. he KNOWS why we can't eat things off diet.

we talk about it all the time.

what DOES she like? there hasbe something in her old diet that she can still eat.

non-potato french fries. seriously, ANYTHING can be a french fry. carrots, butternut squash, broccoli, beets, onions.

honey mustard - equal parts honey, yellow mustard and sour cream. tastes like it could be from a restaurant.

chicken cut into cubes and pan fried = chicken nuggets

meatza - hamburger pressed in the bottom of a sheet pan. bake for a while. drain. put pizza stuff on (with legal cheese) and brown

a bowl of fruit, cheese and nuts - we lived on this last summer.

[BM Doula]

Tests for gluten and dairy intolernaces (usually linked since the protein in cows milk and the gluten protein in wheat are nearly identical on a molecular level) are notoriously inaccurate. New research is also finding that there is a range of intolerances, and not everyone has antibodies when they have an intolerance to gluten.

This mom is obviously trying her best to do what's healthiest for her child, and we should applaud her. 
Here's one article about a study linking asthma and celiac disease, there are more out there as well: http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/02/24/us-asthma-linked-celiac-disease-idUSTRE71N4WF20110224

I wish that the information about gluten intolerances was available when I was a child. I didn't get diagnosed with celiac until I was 29 years old and suffered for most of my life with weird health issues that ended up almost crippling me. Not everyone has diarrhea, or stomach upsets, and the symptoms of celiac disease and gluten intolerance are an important thing for everyone to educate themselves on, since about 95% of people with it don't know they have it. http://www.celiac.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6&Itemid=12

Malaya's Mommy: You are doing a wonderful job, and it's great that you're sticking it out even with the challenges!! I hope you can find support. The forums over at Celiac.com have lots of very knowledgeable people, you might want to look there!

[Cassiani]

the GAPS diet book is rather scientific and actually not fun to read unless you're pretty crazy about this stuff.  I wish is were less scientific and more easy lit. for mom's and friends.  But there's also the Perfect Health Diet (2 dr's in Boston, MIT and i think at Mass General) which is NOT GAPS, but is gluten-free and has a similar approach.  Dr. Paul is available online and answers people's questions beyond the book itself.  

So, there's 2 books that are scientific and detailed.  Scientific people often don't understand nutrition and the body, b/c science in our country is not very holistic, while the body totally is.  

as for husbands... i've found many respond over the years.  my husband was NOT on board for many years, but he's the biggest advocate now.  he eats gluten-free 90% of the time and he makes an effort to do so outside the home.  his sister is now gluten-free to treat her arthritis (she's only 23), another friend is gluten-free for her allergies and asthma that disappear off of wheat, and we've also seen almost miraculous healings in college kids who go gluten/dairy free (and for some soy).  I don't like fighting the battles, and it's really hard to do anything this counter-cultural w/out support from those who should be on your team!  

the scientific evidence is out there, it's just not organized.  and the current trend to call these diets 'fads' and act as if people will get off of them in a couple months or so is ignoring the fact that many of us will never go back to another way of living because our quality of life is so dramatically improved that there is no other choice for us.  and it's not hard when it's a commitment, a challenge, a fun experiment and scientific adventure, it's hard when we think we're losing out, suffering, or being deprived, which you do not have to be!

[jessiesgirl&boys]

Just a thought. Have you tried pantothenic acid for the asthma? This is a common B vitamin. It is typically almost completely missing in most asthmatics. I have known several children start on this & never have athma problems again, at all. After reading Natasha McBride's book it makes perfect since. Their little guts dont absorb it/process it properly. I hope this helps. Dont give up! :0)

[SundayCrepes]

Here's an article on how folks with celiac are at increased risk for asthma. http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/02/24/us-asthma-linked-celiac-disease-idUSTRE71N4WF20110224

[bellymoon]

My husband and I are both biologists with master's degrees in research. We are constantly struck with the inability of typical laboratory science to adequately describe the human body and complex ecology -- which are very similar systems, at different scales. Laboratory science isn't really fit to describe complex relationships that can vary greatly depending on small changes in the variables -- the multivarate statistics alone are complex and open to much interpretation. Double-blind studies are expensive, and almost never have adequate sample size. Then, there's the often long-term effects and results that don't show up in a year or two long study (when so many are even just a few months long!) When nutrition science began in the early 1900s and they discovered the first main set of vitamins and minerals, they thought they'd learned it all. (The same was true in plant science -- hence the synthetic fertilizers that actually kill soil life and cause diseased plants -- but that's okay since the corps can sell "meds" for this in the form of pesticides and fungicides -- sound familiar?) Then, they found some more vitamins, and then they realized they interacted with each other and the minerals in difficult to map ways. Then, just as most of our American food was at it's most processed and stripped of most of its nutrients, they "discovered" phytochemicals which are in fresh foods. What complicates most of the laboratory nutritional science in this country is that it's done (ie funded) in order to find medical "cures" or the next big food additive -- which basically means something that can be re-created in a lab in a synthetic, saleable form. Science and hard facts are good and useful, but truly understanding how the science is done and why is just as important as having the data and results. The absence of good data does not signify a lack of cause and effect! Here's an interesting article on sugar and the history of studies on its effect on our health. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/magazine/mag-17Sugar-t.html?pagewanted=all

Here are two books I know that are very well documented (and then you can go look at their sources too). Although their conclusions aren't identical, they do seem to mesh quite a bit and they address gluten!

"Nourishing Traditions" -- Sally Fallon

"Eat to Live" and "Disease-Proof Your Child" -- Joel Fuhrman, M.D.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by bellymoon 

 Here's an interesting article on sugar and the history of studies on its effect on our health. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/magazine/mag-17Sugar-t.html?pagewanted=all

This is pretty long. I actually stopped reading part way through since I got his point. One of the things I wish he'd discussed is if fructose is so bad, what does that say about fruit? Mercola is totally against fruit, but I'm not convinced that Mercola is always accurate. (He can have good info, but I consider him a starting point, not an authority.) So I'm curious about the fructose in fruit.

[rush2ady]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes 

This is pretty long. I actually stopped reading part way through since I got his point. One of the things I wish he'd discussed is if fructose is so bad, what does that say about fruit? Mercola is totally against fruit, but I'm not convinced that Mercola is always accurate. (He can have good info, but I consider him a starting point, not an authority.) So I'm curious about the fructose in fruit.

My understanding is that Mercola is not totally against fruit, but against eating it in large amounts.  I believe the fiber in whole fruit slows absorption and avoids the sudden blood sugar fluctuation which drinking fruit juice, or eating high fructose corn syrup can cause.  For me, I can tolerate small amounts of fruit, but if I eat an entire apple on an empty stomach, I get a stomach ache and am light-headed soon after.

Has anyone else used the recipes in Internal Bliss (the recipe book accompanying the GAPS diet)?  I started GAPS a month ago and am transitioning onto full GAPS diet now.  This is my first week I'll use the recipes from the book.  They look scrumptious and I'm wondering if anyone else has tried them yet?