I wish I could make a long story short, but I don't know how to. :)
I have many children, and never knew I was suffering from PPD / PPanxiety and OCD until the feelings had already passed years later and I had a respite. Now I'm postpartum again and they are back, to a different degree.
The things I suffered were anything from paranoia to intrusive thoughts, constant panic and worry, and depression like I never could have imagined. I felt very detached, very low and very, very tired. I could have slept the days away and often did. I lost all joy and emotion except a very bothersome "flat" feeling.
This time, it struck postpartum but was almost entirely an anxiety - I was afraid every little tingle, twinge or tiredness meant that I was dying. I was always at doctors and the ER - certainly I had cancer. Or a blood clot. Or MS. Or anything else. My mind could not and would not rest. I woke up in the morning being nearly unable to breathe I was so overcome with anxiety....and that anxiety eventually gave way to depression. My WORST symptom now is a general feeling of anxiety, constant dizziness (like I'm drunk), tiredness, and loss of joy in life. I feel like there is always something terrible waiting to happen.
That all said, my hormones are out of whack - they've been tested. My neurotransmitters have been tested, too - I am too high in all things "excitatory" and too low in all things calming, like serotonin, dopamine and GABA.
So I've been trying to take care of this naturally - 5-HTP, GABA, etc. The problem is, I don't think it's working, at least not long term. I will have one very good week and then crash the next and be right back where I was with the depression and anxiety.
I suspect a thyroid issue which is being worked on - the ONLY time I've ever had relief from these symptoms was over a year ago when my thyroid meds were raised with this last pregnancy. ALL depression and worry lifted. It was a miracle. So I still suspect thyroid, as does my doctor.
HOWEVER, I am becoming impatient. It's been 11 months. Would you, if you were me, keep plodding ahead? Or would you give up and get on meds already? Because living like this is wearisome and frustrating.
Thanks for any help you can offer. :)