Okay people, i'm new to this and have alot going on but I'd like some real advise! I'm a GOOD FATHER! I have 6 children, two whom live outside my household! The one I'm writing about is my 4 yr old son. His' mother & I had no relationship and an acute friendship! We've been in NYS fanmily court for 3 1/2 years!!!! After several previous orders we recieved a final order 3 months ago and she has recently file a new petition for sole-custody! I'm so tired of fighting that I fee it's time to give him up & give in! My son doesn't need a father, who loves & cares about him & his well-being! I'm a teacher & FT graduate student (finishing my MS degree in May 2012). I spend alot of QT with ALL my children! I have my son every other weekend, alternating holidays/school breaks plus 2 wks each summer! (I have 2 months off each summer!!!) I send child support monthly and have NEVER missed a payment, even when she refuses to allow him to see me/us!
Why is she always using him like a pawn in a chess match! Well, I'm tired of playing so I feel its best to let her have him & walk away forever! She has attempted to take her life twice yet retains custody, etc. She has many people in & out of her household! My son has arrived for my visitation with various bruises, etc. That she claims he did during a fall, etc. I can't prove anything! She calls me when he doesn;t listen to her and expects me to discpline him for her, etc. I'm so stressed that I'm thinking about give letting him go! I pay her approx $400 a month, yet he often arrives in clothes that are too small on him or very tattered or dirty. The cost of a lawyer is between $3000 & $7500 to retain! I can't afford it! The court won't give me a lawyer, i earn too much, yet she is awarded one??? Oh yeah, she was recently fired from her 2nd state job, this time for too much Internet use! I can't win, not that I want to win anythinhg! I'm fine with the current order in place!
Now she claims "medical neglect" b/c I refuse to give our son a medication for a 6yr! She needs the drugs for him to control his' behavior! I don't see any of the behavioral problems she discribes when he is in my care! I'm sure I can prove alot is false in her petition, but I'm very tired and stressed! She plans events for him to attend on MY PARENTING TIME! Then gets upset when I say NO!
By the way, I can get numerous people, children, parents, co-workers, etc to tesify on my chartacter as it pretains to my love & caring about children & young people, especially my own! Yet, i feel this case is a lossing battle for me! She doesn't want our son to have ANY OVERNITES with his 4 sisters & older brother! WOW! Now she wants him to have limted contact after have a regular schedule for months!
CAN ANYONE MAKE ME BELIEVE I SHOULD STILL FIGHT? ISN'T IT BEST FOR HIM TO LIVE WITH HIS' MOTHER, SINCE SHE WON'T ALLOW HIM TO HAVE A COMPLETE RELATIONSHIP WITH ME, HIS BIO-DADDY! bY THE WAY SHE TELLS HIM HER DRUG-DEALING BOY-FRIEND IS HIS' DAD! nICE HUH!
I can see how this will all play out when he become a teenager! I work with kids who have behaviorial issues in my school where I'm employed! I see negative behaviors daily! I can see my son acting out if I let go my my rights! I'm sure I'll regret it, but I feel as if I have no choice! He'll be better off without me!
ps: I have had a positive relationship with my oldest son's mother & step-father for the past 16 years! and my other child who lives outside my home, I have a good relationshiop with her & her mom & family! Enough is enough!
Is it time to throw the towel in?