I found reading sympathetic parenting books so helpful when I was struggling with high needs DD1. They helped me to value the work I was doing, and to feel less alone. There is a wonderful book called "What Mothers Do" by Naomi Stadlen which is just about the experience of being a mother, how hard it is, but how much common ground there is in the way we all feel. Honestly, it made me feel "normal" even in the middle of my darkest moments. Other AP-type books, like Deborah Jackson's "Three in a Bed" and "Natural Child Spacing" by Sheila Kippley, are also brilliant.
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