Finding out the gender - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[LilyTiger]

Veritas, my SIL had a great way of sharing with DH.  She had the u/s tech write the sex in a sealed envelope and then went to a store and picked out two different baby outfits, one for a boy and one for a girl.  She told the clerk to wrap whichever matched the u/s note and then she and her husband opened the "gift" together at Christmas.  While you wouldn't have Christmas as an excuse, you could do something similar and have you and DH open it together after your niece is born (or whatever makes sense).  Just a cute idea.  If we were finding out, I think that would be a neat way.

[Ninetales]

I've seen people lately make a cake and dye it blue or pink, then frost it white and cut it open to do a big "reveal."  I think if I was ever finding out I'd do that, I think it's cool.

[Knitting Mama]

We're actually planning a gender reveal party right now, my husband and I. As soon as we know when our ultrasound date is, we'll set a date for the party. I will probably do the filling either pink or blue so I can dye it naturally. I hate artificial food colors!

[Veritas Vitae]

LilyTiger, I love that idea!

Ninetales and Aimee, my twin sister did a gender reveal party and it was soooo exciting, no one but their friend who made the cake knew and it was amazing when the cake was cut!  The picture of the parents was funny b/c after 3 girls, when the cake was pink sis looked super excited (she would have been no matter what) and bil seemed to be looking for the blue .  We had our two sisters in CO on speaker phone,so they got to hear all the excitement at least.  There is a video somewhere, but it seems like FB ate it.  I'll see if I can dig it up.

[NewMumJoy]

I love these "revealing" ideas!  How cool!!

[Thursday Girl]

Originally Posted by Veritas Vitae   However, judging by my nieces and friends' children, I won't be able to avoid it. I'm sure I'll end up with Yo Gabba Gabba or Spiderman items at some point.

I am trying to figure out how I want to find out though.  At the time of my 20 week u/s, my DP will have moved to NC, and I will still be in FL (waiting until my new little niece is born!) and I will not be joining him until a week or two later.  I wanted us to find out together, so I could (1) look into some sort of weblink so he could be involved (2) have the u/s tech put the sex in the envelope and then we could find out together in person or (3) I could find out at the appt and then find some creative way to tell him, which could be super fun. 

avoid the characters as long as possible and then only introduce them to cool ones,

gender, take me with you and we'll find some awesome way to tell B.  When Chris couldn't come to Josie's sonogram I put her sono picture in a frame that said girl and gave him pink dish washing soap (we had a bet that if it was a girl he had to do dishes for the rest of the pregnancy) with a bow on it. You could have a fun chores related bet.
 

Originally Posted by Veritas Vitae 

LilyTiger, I love that idea!

Ninetales and Aimee, my twin sister did a gender reveal party and it was soooo exciting, no one but their friend who made the cake knew and it was amazing when the cake was cut!  The picture of the parents was funny b/c after 3 girls, when the cake was pink sis looked super excited (she would have been no matter what) and bil seemed to be looking for the blue .  We had our two sisters in CO on speaker phone,so they got to hear all the excitement at least.  There is a video somewhere, but it seems like FB ate it.  I'll see if I can dig it up.

I found the video, posted it on your FB wall.

[ithappened]

I am dying to know!! I actually dont have a preference, but because its twins it feels like so much more that there are 2 vs. just being 1 in there.. 2 girls, 2 boys, 1 of each, no matter what it feels like a lot but it feels like it could be a lot more 'energy' of one sex over the other.. Im curious if I'll have a house of all boys- 4!! or if it will be a more even playing field :)

[keuriweo]

I'm just too curious.  It would be a fun surprise, sure, but it'll be a fun surprise at the next US.  Knowing early, doesn't take the surprise away.  As others have mentioned, my only misgiving is ending up with a pile of gendered baby clothes.  I guess maybe I'll try warning people against gifting the baby frilly or sports-themed clothes.  I don't mind being rude in this situation and saying, "If you insist on buying obnoxiously gendered clothes, just cut out the middle-man and donate them to Goodwill yourself."

[Thandiwe]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

We are absolutely hoping to find out, for a couple of reasons.

1. Gender disappointment exists, and ignoring it or pretending it isn't real doesn't work for me. I want the time to be at peace with what we find, which feels more and more every day like is going to be a boy.

2. Finding out the baby's gender helps me to feel more connected and more like "this is a real live baby in here" instead of "I am a pregnant woman," if that makes any sense. Like, this baby is on par with my out-of-the-womb child, and because he/she is inside me, I need to take the best care of me possible so I can take the best care of him/her as possible. I feel like that is easier for me to do when I have a face and a name attached to the baby.

3. The more material reason is because I love to craft and plan things before the baby comes, and I want to know who I am making stuff for! I did some really cute personalized stuff for Cecilia before she came, and seeing her things in the nursery (which is now a playroom given that she sleeps with us) made me SO excited for her to be here! I can't wait to start making more personalized things for this baby too!

Yes to all these!  This is our last baby, and I'm really hoping for a girl.  I want to be at peace if I end up with 4 boys and the door closes, so it will give me the chance to be okay and prepared.  Also, since I have 3 boys, it could get quite costly to start over buying girl's clothes.  So if I know ahead of time, then people can buy stuff as they ask and want to.  Gives me the chance to break up the cost of a new wardrobe! 

And, well, I just plain want to!    We only do one bout of medical intervention all pregnancy, no bloodwork, etc, just this one routine u/s at 18/20 weeks.  So it's my little gift to myself for doing labor without meds and playing nice all pregnancy.

[Ninetales]

So if you've been in this week's chat thread you know I'm seriously waffling.  I'm starting to feel like knowing the sex would give me some feeling of control or at least make me feel better that I'll at least know one thing for sure at the birth.  My friend had an interesting idea - find out, but don't tell anyone.  Maybe don't even tell that we found out so no one bugs us.  That way we can still have our big waiting room moment and can still feel like it's a secret.

[Sol_y_Paz]

Originally Posted by Ninetales 
My friend had an interesting idea - find out, but don't tell anyone.  Maybe don't even tell that we found out so no one bugs us.  

Sometimes you simply can't find out because the baby won't cooperate.  So you always have that built in excuse if you don't really want to share.  

[Knitting Mama]

True, you can always say the baby didn't cooperate!

[dovemama]

My dd was the first girl in DH's family. It wouldn't have mattered if we told our family before hand or after, her entire life is pink. Every present she gets is princess, or pink, or girly.

After being a gender studies major in college I had so many strong feelings about what and how I would address my child and dress my child. Turns out, she is her own person no matter what color she wears. And her favorite thing so far is playing in the sandbox, or chasing dogs, or eating cheerios. The clothes and toys don't matter at all. We are just thankful for the generosity of others.

So that was the long way around saying that I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing to "personify" the baby that is coming. Life is about balance, no doubt, but the months go fast and they grow out so quickly of all the clothes they got as gifts. I loved naming DD in advance. Everyone called her that in my belly. It felt real, especially after a loss.

We can't wait to find out if this is a boy or a girl. Either way we will be excited.

[dovemama]

When Chris couldn't come to Josie's sonogram I put her sono picture in a frame that said girl and gave him pink dish washing soap (we had a bet that if it was a girl he had to do dishes for the rest of the pregnancy) with a bow on it.

Sooo cute!! You guys sound like fun!!

I love the cake reveal too!!

[ainh]

I think we'll find out, but not sure we'll tell anyone else.  I don't want a bunch of conversations in front of my boys about how "you must want a girl", but I guess that's going to happen whether I tell or not.  My husband can't ever go to appt's with me, so we'll see if I have the tech put the gender in an envelope or just have her tell me.  Last time they told me at my 13 week NT scan which was unexpected.

[Justmee]

We're waiting. I think. With my twins & singleton after, we waited until the end and I liked it. With ds I caved and found out at a 34ish week ultrasound because he wasn't moving a lot, and I just caved and found out he was a boy :D

I plan to wait this time, liked the surprise more, but I can't promise I won't cave at some point and find out.

[Soon2BeMom]

Originally Posted by LilyTiger 

Ninetales, you're exactly like me!  I plan everything, but I just don't see the sex being relevant to my planning.  And I love the idea of building up the anticipation until the big day.  Oddly too, though I want a boy, for me personally I think it would be easier to deal with it being a girl if I found out at the birth because I'll just be so freaking excited to have a baby.  I would overthink it if I found out ahead of time.  Ultimately, different strokes for different folks.  We're excited to have a boy's name and a girl's name and a beautiful green nursery that will grow with the babe.  And that's all we need to know for now.

LilyTiger, I'm the same way.  I plan everything, but some things I just don't need to know to plan.  So we're not finding out.  It just doesn't feel right to me.  We didn't find out last time either, and I'm glad we didn't know.   It drove my family up the wall though!  And it really isn't easy to find nice gender neutral baby clothes - anybody found any good brands that have some?
 

Originally Posted by ainh 

I think we'll find out, but not sure we'll tell anyone else.  I don't want a bunch of conversations in front of my boys about how "you must want a girl", but I guess that's going to happen whether I tell or not.  My husband can't ever go to appt's with me, so we'll see if I have the tech put the gender in an envelope or just have her tell me.  Last time they told me at my 13 week NT scan which was unexpected.

ainh - I totally understand about those annoying conversations.  We just broke the news last night, and already everyone was harassing my 4yo about whether she wants a girl or boy.  It bugs me because it's not like she's going to get any say-so in it, it makes her wonder about the value of her own gender, asking her will only get her heart set on one or the other, and then she could wind up disappointed or resentful of the baby if it's not what she wanted. 
 

[sallyrae17]

Originally Posted by Soon2BeMom 

 And it really isn't easy to find nice gender neutral baby clothes - anybody found any good brands that have some?
 

I bought all gender neutral clothes for my son (didn't know his gender before birth) and I think I bought a lot of Carter brand clothes. I also shopped at places like Once upon a child for most of his stuff. Once he was born, though, I had family members throwing boy clothes at me. Thankfully, I have all of the gender neutral stuff for the beginning for this babe as well. And to be perfectly honest, all you need for the first month or so is blankets, diapers and a wrap...especially in the heat of August. My son was born in May in Austin, TX and he didn't wear anything other than some white onesies and diapers. It was just too hot.

[LilyTiger]

My MIL bought us a few really cute onesies, so I'll have to check the names on those. 

We found a really cute Johnny Cash onesie at bornpunk.com.  It's a little too pricey to do serious shopping there, but for those of you worried about gender roles, nothing like dressing a little baby girl in a Grateful Dead or Ramones onesie.  Also, a lot of them come in black, which I would think would be very good for hiding stains of various sorts. 

[sallyrae17]

Originally Posted by LilyTiger 
Also, a lot of them come in black, which I would think would be very good for hiding stains of various sorts. 

Black is good for anything other than spit-up...which you'll see a lot of in the first few months! I guess I prefer white because it doesn't absorb heat and can also be really easy to clean.  :-) Though I love the black stuff my son wore when he was older and eating solids!