Finding out the gender - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[rebecca10]

Edited to delate double post--sorry

[Knitting Mama]

Given that I am baking the cake, that wouldn't work for us, but it's a cool idea!!

[Ninetales]

I'm warming up to the idea of having them write it down and us looking at it later when and if we feel like it.  That way if I have any feeling that I don't want to find out at the ultrasound I won't feel pressured because it's my only chance.

If we do find out though, I think I'm pretty sure we'll keep it to ourselves.  I'm just so attached to the idea of dad coming into the waiting room to give the big announcement.

[Veritas Vitae]

Aimee, is there anyone who could make the cake for you? My sister had a friend make the cake so they could be surprised at the cake cutting too. Also, I believe some stores or bakeries will make the cakes as well.

[intime0]

Ninetales, that's a fun idea.

Yeah, aimee, you should have someone make the cake for you.

[Knitting Mama]

Nobody who wouldn't want the surprise either.  It's okay! I kind of like the idea of my husband and I keeping it a secret...but only for a little bit!

[DesertSunsets]

Aimee - for whatever it's worth, we'd bake a cake for you.  :)  We are actually hobbyist bakers/cake decorators.  

[rootzdawta]

I want to find out this time.  I didn't find out the two times before.  I have two boys and I just want to know what's coming. 

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by DesertSunsets 

Aimee - for whatever it's worth, we'd bake a cake for you.  :)  We are actually hobbyist bakers/cake decorators.  

Really??? Hmmmm....this is something to consider!!!

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

We are absolutely hoping to find out, for a couple of reasons.

1. Gender disappointment exists, and ignoring it or pretending it isn't real doesn't work for me. I want the time to be at peace with what we find, which feels more and more every day like is going to be a boy.

2. Finding out the baby's gender helps me to feel more connected and more like "this is a real live baby in here" instead of "I am a pregnant woman," if that makes any sense. Like, this baby is on par with my out-of-the-womb child, and because he/she is inside me, I need to take the best care of me possible so I can take the best care of him/her as possible. I feel like that is easier for me to do when I have a face and a name attached to the baby.

3. The more material reason is because I love to craft and plan things before the baby comes, and I want to know who I am making stuff for! I did some really cute personalized stuff for Cecilia before she came, and seeing her things in the nursery (which is now a playroom given that she sleeps with us) made me SO excited for her to be here! I can't wait to start making more personalized things for this baby too!

We're totally on the same wavelength here. I wholeheartedly agree with all three, and these are the exact reasons we are finding out too.  Out of curiosity, what is your gender preference?  I'm mixed, I LOVE the idea of two little girls, but then this may be our last, so I may never have a son and that makes me sad.  On the other hand, I have a lot of baggage when it comes to men in my life.  Most of the men in my family are cold unfeeling selfish asshats. And they are also alcoholics on top of it.  I sort of like the idea of having a son, but I'm really afraid that he will turn out to be like the other men in my family. That's probably dumb, but I can't shake it. I guess I have a slight preference for another girl, but I won't be crushed if it's a boy.  Had the first been a boy though, I definitely would have been crushed.

[Knitting Mama]

I really want a girl, because I really want to cultivate a close sister relationship, like my sister and I have.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

I get that - part of the reason I have a slight girl preference is that I don't have a sister and have desperately wanted one all my life.  Shit, I guess the preference is a little stronger than I knew.  I'm fairly convinced it's a little boy though!  

I LOVE the idea of the US tech writing the gender on a piece of paper instead of announcing it.  I found that the US tech the first time around was not really excited when she told us and we were confused about whether she was even sure about the gender or whether it was more of a guess.  I don't want anyone to tell us and potentially ruin the moment - I want it written down so we can find out privately that evening.  

[DesertSunsets]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

Really??? Hmmmm....this is something to consider!!!

Haha, totally.  We also live on the eastside, so I think it could work out!  It would be a fun project.  You've got some time to decide, of course!

[Knitting Mama]

My husband doesn't want to wait to find out when everyone else finds out, so that is out. BUT, I still might want you guys to make the cake! LOL.

[rebecca10]

I am totally with you on this.  Whenever anyone asks me in the real world, I say I don't care.  That I love the idea of two girls for logistical reasons (like our two-bedroom house, and all the girls clothes we have) and the sister relationship, but I'm also excited about the idea of having one of each. And on an intellectual level I really want that to be true. Yet in my heart of hearts, I pretty sure I still want a girl.  That said, I won't be too upset if I find out its a boy, especially since I do have my one girl already.

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

I really want a girl, because I really want to cultivate a close sister relationship, like my sister and I have.

[ainh]

I've found out in the past, and sure we will with this one too, but did want to add that I've heard some midwives claim that births (in their experience) are faster and more fun when it's a surprise.  I can imagine that there might be a little more motivation to push if you're waiting on the gender ;)...and that the vibe in the room might be a teeny bit different.  For me, there are a million surprises at birth and I was too wrapped up in the pain to care much about the baby at all.  In fact, my doula said something about "you need to get this baby out" and I was like "baby?"...I was just concentrating on getting rid of the pain.  She said "yes, baby!" and I actually got him out a couple of pushes later (after three hours of pushing).

[intime0]

ainh, that does not sound like a fun birth! 

I love girls too...having 5 didnt bother me a bit....but i'm pretty sure this is our last so I REALLY want another boy. 

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

Originally Posted by ainh 

I've found out in the past, and sure we will with this one too, but did want to add that I've heard some midwives claim that births (in their experience) are faster and more fun when it's a surprise.  I can imagine that there might be a little more motivation to push if you're waiting on the gender ;)...and that the vibe in the room might be a teeny bit different.  For me, there are a million surprises at birth and I was too wrapped up in the pain to care much about the baby at all.  In fact, my doula said something about "you need to get this baby out" and I was like "baby?"...I was just concentrating on getting rid of the pain.  She said "yes, baby!" and I actually got him out a couple of pushes later (after three hours of pushing).

Ahh, I wish this were true for everyone.  A dear friend had a 48 hour labor and a whole week of prodromal labor before that and she didn't know the sex.  Nothing was getting that baby out until he wanted to make his appearance!

[folkgirl]

I'm pregnant with my third. I found out with my first two. This time I considered not finding out, but decided to go ahead and do it. I'm one of those people who feels more connected to the pregnancy after I know who's in there. I had an especially rough first trimester this time, so I'm looking forward to some good news and just feeling more settled and connected.

Second, I'm not usually a planner, but I like to keep things suuuuuuper low-key after giving birth. I stock my freezer with meals, have my DH take over with the older kid(s) as much as possible, and focus on nursing the baby. In the past I've dealt with major jaundice + low milk supply/slow weight gain, so this is no just a preference but something that's really important to our nursing relationship. I know that if I don't have my drawers sorted out with the appropriate sizes, etc. before the baby is born I will not get to it. It's hard enough for me to stay on top of that kind of thing with the two kids I already have. Just not my strength. I really want to take advantage of that nesting time to feeling really prepared.

Third, honestly I am just not that committed to having gender neutral clothes, etc. This is something I felt strongly about for my first baby, but not so much now. I bought a bunch of yellow and green the first time around and it didn't get worn as much as some of the other stuff because it just wasn't flattering on my kids. My girls have many gender neutral toys and are in an environment both at home and at school where they are given no limitations on how or what they want to play with. We have a ton of dresses and some of them are pink, although almost none of them are "frilly." We also don't have a gender-neutral nursery, although I won't be changing that right away anyway since Newb will probably be in our room for up to year.

I'll be glad for the surprise when I get it--in a few weeks, I hope.

[Ninetales]

Originally Posted by 1stTimeMama4-4-10 

Ahh, I wish this were true for everyone.  A dear friend had a 48 hour labor and a whole week of prodromal labor before that and she didn't know the sex.  Nothing was getting that baby out until he wanted to make his appearance!

This was my experience too.  I didn't know with my first, and after days of prodromal labor, and then two days of active labor with excruciating back pain, and four hours pushing with no change at all, I didn't care if it was a boy, a girl, or a little green alien.  I was just done.