Transition to pooping on toilet instead of little potty

[MammaFaith]

Hi Mommas!

My 3.5 yo DD started using her "little yellow potty" at 20 months and became completely diaper-free 1 year later.  She happily pees in any toilet (or the great outdoors), but she will only go poop on her little yellow potty.  We have to bring it with us on trips because the last thing we want is to have her holding her poop in so long that she does damage (if you've ever seen a bright yellow Mazda wagon on the side of the road in WA/OR/CA/NV with a little girl on a matching yellow potty next to it, that was us!).  She's getting too big for the little potty and we'd just generally like her to get over this pottying issue without damaging her self-esteem.

I've tried bribery ("I'll bake you a cake!"), telling her it's the "big girl" thing to do, etc.  We also recently started reward charts and pooping on the toilet is one of the items she can earn a star for each day, so I ask her daily if she went on the toilet.

Does anyone have any suggestions or encouraging words?  Should we not be so concerned and trust that she will out grow this (preferably before she outgrows the potty, but at least before kindergarten)?

Thanks so much.

Faith

[momof3tobe]

My ds just stopped using his little potty a few weeks ago and he will be 6 on the 16th. We always took the potty with us on trips and just let him decide when he was ready to stop. He just came up to me one day and said "this potty is useless!" I said ok and that was that! I'm a big fan of letting kids decide these types of things for themselves. They feel so proud and grown up when they realize they are ready to take the next step- not anxious and angry that they are being coerced to.

[SweetSilver]

I did finally manage to get my youngest 5yo dd on the big potty to poop, but she still uses the little potty for peeing.  I didn't bribe her, and I tried not let my frustration bubble up to the surface.  I did let her know (when she was 4.5yo) that I would really like it if she used the big potty to poop because it was easier to clean up after--just matter-of-factly, just like that.  

I gave up trying to get her to give up the little potty entirely because the big potty was so intimidating.  She was just not confident enough that she would get up there in time and had more accidents.  Camping trips etc. can be really hard because the bathroom is in a different place.  For those trips I do actively encourage her to use the little potty if she needs to because otherwise she won't go very easily and the trip becomes miserable.

So, for a 3.5yo I would just let this go.  I know how much it sucks hauling a potty around, but it is a security blanket in a very important sense.

I am still looking forward to the day when she gives up her potty entirely.  Though it is a big Bjorn seat, she is still *way* too big and pees over the top.  (Grrrrr!)  But since she still struggles with accidents (on and off) I won't push it.  My oldest, now 7yo, started using the big potty when she was close to 4 because she hated that the poop "stopped" so close to her bum.

[MammaFaith]

Thanks to you both.  Sage advice.  I've trusted her to listen to her body so far, I don't know why I'm not trusting her on this.  I'll drop it for now - along with my gentle nudging to get her to stop sucking her thumb and twirling her hair...  :)

[SweetSilver]

My oldest sucked her thumb, too, until she was 6yo.

[LCBMAX]

I could have written your post about 5 weeks ago, but substitute "little red potty" for your yellow one. I was also anticipating yet another trip with the darned thing, and was motivated to push him in this area where I'd never pushed him before ( we did E. C.) We made the transition, and this was how:

1. I got a cushy toilet seat that goes on the regular toilet, and he began to sit to pee. Occasionally, when I knew he did NOT need to poop, I'd invite him to sit up there with his pants still on and just imagine what it might be like to poop on there. I saw that having a stool at the right height was critical, since the little potty sat on the floor and positioned him with very flexed hips and knees. He was willing to imagine, but when he really would need to poop, I'd offer "big toilet, big toilet with squishy seat, or little potty" and he still chose little potty every time. There was about 6 weeks of this.

2. I stopped offering the choices and put the squishy seat away for a few weeks.

3. One day, at the announcement of a definite and imminent "poop feeling", I said "If you just want to TRY the squishy seat, you'll get new stickers just for trying. If you actually poop using the squishy seat, you get a new airplane." (I had them both stashed away.) He said "Hm. Well, even just stickers are nice, so I'll just try, but I won't poop." I said "Sure, whatever you want. Let's go." 10 minutes later, after discussion while on the squishy seat about what kind of airplane it was, he announced that he'd be getting a new airplane today! Hooray!

4. Ooops, now I'd moved him from a relatively petite little potty to a great big hulking toilet top seat. Therefore, one day, I somehow just couldn't find the squishy seat but was able to magically find a neat little folding seat (potette) and his need was urgent so he went with it.

5. The next day, that was what we travelled with!

6. While visiting grandma, he had a strong and sure poop feeling, but the potette was at our hotel room, not at her place. He was able to use the regular toilet that once, but only with me (I have the dubious distinction of being his preferred poop partner). I haven't even asked him to do it again because I really got what I wanted out of the whole thing.

7. All this happened in the 3 weeks before his 4th birthday.

Ultimately, as an EC devotee, I really support your continuing to trust your child's body. I happen to have a son who is only now entering a phase where bribery can work - it's NEVER worked til now. And, it of course only works if he wants it too. I just got lucky in hitting a perfect window that one day where the stars were aligned such that

a.  he was bribeable

b.  he really was ready to switch

c.  he really needed to poop

d.  I was feeling loose about it

Good luck either with moving ahead or being at peace staying still!

[porcelina]

Oh, thank you for posting this!! I had kindof planned on not making a big deal out of it, and then, our new babysitter said something to DS (4) who is still using the baby bjorn (bigger) potty. Apparently, she made him feel self-conscious about it. So, that got me to wondering, should we be transitioning him to the big toilet? It does seem intimidating, and he has poop issues as it is (holding in/needing help with miralax). So, I'm glad I came on here and found some answers. I think I'll take the approach of letting him decide. When we travel, he seems okay with the potty seat cover, so we'll just keep going with that.