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Advice?

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 

Hello everyone,

 

Perhaps some of you have some helpful thoughts on this.  I gave birth unassisted at our home in California with our first child.  Then about 5mths later we moved back to where our families are in S.Jersey.  We have felt this was a mistake since we got back two years ago now.  I am currently about 6mths pregnant with our second child and I plan to go unassisted again, however... I am suddenly feeling very unsafe UCing in Jersey.  I cannot find any info on getting a BC here, there are not many people around here that would even consider a midwife attended HB let alone a UC.  I dont want my children taken away from me until its proved Im a fit mother and all that nonsense gov't agencies do.  Also, we rent and our landlord is selling the place so, we have people coming through, two groups yesterday and a group today, to look at the place, this is driving me nuts!  We are very private ppl to begin with and this is just too much.  Our lease is month to month so with a new owner we will likely be asked to sign on for another yr which we do not want to do, or move along.  My nest is being ripped out from under me!  I absolutely love being pregnant and experienced no emotional issues at all with my first pregnancy, I loved every bit of it, being outside in the sun, swimming in the ocean 9mths preg weighing 180lbs, all of this in California, to remind.  Now with all this crazyness going on I am a mess!  Everytime they call to say ppl want to come through, I feel like crying, I go through sadness and anger quickly!  I cant hold on to these emotions!  I know all this stress is unhealthy for all of us involoved here. 

 

My husband has a good job, but doesnt enjoy it and again were not happy living in Jersey!  So, we can move somewhere else in this place that doesnt support our lifestyle or... I want to pack it up and head back to California!  I know a midwife there that we had consulted before deciding to go UC and she is in favor of the UC movement.  She also had no problem coming over after the birth to give a few very simple checks in order to type up a letter so that we could easily get a BC for our child.  I feel that we should contact her, go back, have our baby where I know I am safe.  

 

Do you mothers agree?  Any thoughts?

Thank you!

post #2 of 2

Feeling unsafe has got to be one of the worst feelings for anyone, but especially a pregnant woman.  I moved across the country, too, from Seattle to rural VT.  I feel safe here.  And I feel like I would pick up and leave any place that I didn't feel safe -- maybe that is wishful thinking...easier said than done.  But, regardless of whether you're in Jersey or not, you ought to find ways of reassuring yourself that your environment is nurturing.  If it isn't nurturing on its own account, you should interject and force it as much as possible.  Sometimes, safety is a mind-matter.  And you may be able to create the safe space that you need through visualizing and positive thinking.  The most unsafe spaces are those overcome by fear and anxiety.  You can control yourself, even if you can't control your physical surroundings.  Good luck!  hug.gif

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