Want UC but dh won't hear of it

[sunflower8]

Anyone dealt with this issue? This will be my 4th child (in July) and I really want to go for it unassisted. Husband is petrified of 'something going wrong'. My previous labours were quick and easy...8h, 4h and 2h...the last 2 at home with a midwife. Problem is, there's only 1 mw in this town and I was disappointed with her care and don't want her back! I feel I can do it...he is so afraid of the unknown - the cord getting tangled or something happening that he can't manage and he is afraid I or the  child will die....what to do? His fear is infecting me..! any advice from one's who's been there? thanks!!

[BlessedOne]

The first time I brought up homebirth hubby was not for it at all! Honestly that particular time I went with a birthing center and I think once he saw how little they actually did compared to my hospital birth....he realized that by our third I could do it. I interviewed midwives but none was up to par.....so I sprung the idea of UC on him. He took it better than expected (although the rest of the family freaked out!) And we did our 3rd and 4th UC. I am now pg with my 5th and it will be UC as well.
Basically if I was you, do your research and show him that you know what you are doing. Tell him that you will print out the what if scenerios so if something happens you both can be quick to respond to it the right way. And possibly even review them and "role play" the scenerios. Most of the things people are scared of are fixable at home without professional assistance...you just have to know what you are doing. If all else fails call 911 and they are only a few minutes away. In most cases it won't end badly.  =) I know far more instances where it went perfectly than it going badly!

But you just want to show him that you can do it! I know I say it almost every post I make but it really is the truth....knowledge is power!

[sunflower8]

thanks for your reply!! great advice...now I need resources to learn how to deal with 'complications'....know of any materials that instruct on how to address these nebulous scenarios for the layperson?  Silly but I don't even know what to fear b/c my deliveries have been straightforward where the m/w only observed and supported the baby's head....really I gave them nothing to do!!

[starrlamia]

he's concerned for you! If you cant swing him around to the idea of UC, could you compromise and find a very hands off midwife who agrees to let you do what you need to do with minimal interuption?

[sunflower8]

I wish I could! There's only one m/w in this town and I've worked with her 2 x before and don't want to again! My last child was diagnosed failure to thrive - she and the other m/w blamed me for not producing enough milk when actually he was dying of pneumonia. Thankfully they talked (coerced, threatened, guilted) me into seeing an MD to have him checked out, but it was awful.